she has been criticized her whole life
Yikes! I am in so over my head with SD20. She comes as she wishes and stays as long as she wants. She is incredibly spoiled, never worked for anything in her whole life, and has a parasitic mindset. She is now trying to finish high school for the second time. She has this show going on telling everyone she workes all the time(she did this when she had secretly dropped out as well). Even sits there at family dinners saying DH family how she works double what I do (I have two jobs, and she pays nothing for anything other than her own Funtime). Basically, she wants people to admire her for the things I am usually praised for, but does not want to do the actual work. Instead she attends school two days a week and works whenever she feels like it. Also, she fakes illness a lot, so she has a lot of time off school for that. Which means she is at our house most of the time. And, I hate to be around her now. She is so disgusting, self-centered, manipulating, lack of empathy for others, and... just like her mother, the huge bloodsucker. It used to be a time when I loved her so much and could not understand how a stepmother could not love her stepdaughter, but her bad behavior has been relentless, and I have learned that she is just a bad apple (genetically caused). On good days I am disengaged, and it works most the time, but it is still so hard when she is here all the time.
So this holiday, DH was to drive her to her mom(she has been here non-stop for six months). And he went into these dark emotions afterward. I tried to stay disengaged and just go about my business. But after some days of living with this depressed man. I started poking the bear, and then it came out he was feeling so sorry for SD because "she has been criticized her whole life". And then he tries to pin it at me coming up with this example of when I for five years ago, asked her to stop a particular bad habit, that was causing our electrical bill to increase significantly. That poor SD had to live with this kind of criticism from everyone all the time. I told him straight that that was a common thing for parents to say no to and that I would do the same with DD if she ever did something reckless like that. And told him that SD´s only problem is that she is spoiled. And that DH has never done her wrong in any other sense then give her to much, and thus she cannot appreciate how easy she has it, and has had it her whole life. After this bubble burst, DH was so lovely to be around, the rest of our holiday was super nice.
Today SD20, the fat bloodsucker, is back. And I cannot help think that she tried to ruin my Christmas holiday, with that crap she put in DH head. After all that I have done for her in so many years, it is such a display of ungratefulness. However, I have learned that I can expect nothing less than lousy behavior for her. The truth is that it is not only me and her problem, but she also has enormous problems with having compassion and empathy for all others and is easily jealous of others if they get attention and not her.