this happen to other SM
We have SS every other week. There is no sole custody...it is completely 50/50. SS came home yesterday from school with a gift he made at school for mother's day. It was cute (for a 1st grader) little clay pot with daisies in it they planted at school. They had to make a card and say thanks to Mom for everything she does. His card was completely directed toward his mother and that is fine. When he brought the bag in I asked him if that was a gift for his mother. (I had no hard feelings) He immediately said he made it for both.
This is what ticks me off. His teacher knows of his situation. She knows he lives in two homes and has a Mom and a Step-Mom. He is in first grade.....would it have been too much to ask out of a teacher to have him make two??? Teacher knew he is with us this whole week. What a slam to me. She knew he would be bringing this home for his mother to our house. I teach school myself and I think that was absolutely rude. Granted we live in a small /chatholic town and divorce is usually not the norm. But that really hurt that an adult/teacher can't see it.
- Elle36's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Elle36
Sometimes I just figure that the teacher has a lot going on and just didn't think of the situation.
I know it hurts.
Dawn
Honest opinion...
NCP should have rights too! I understand that you would want to be included in the thought process of the teacher, but most teachers require that each student only make one of each project they are working on...The bottom line is the BM gets a hand painted planter from child for mothers day, while you and DH get the child. I personally would endevour on another project at home with the child, where together we could make something for his bm and make something for myself too..then I would place what the child made for me up high for everyone to see like a trophy...and of course praise the child for the work put into my gift as well as his BM gift...If this is done enough the child will have more forthought when making gifts at school that he may ask the teacher on his own if he can make 2 gifts next time. BTW, how about taking a pic of the planter the child said he made for you both , have it blown up and framed for yourself and your ss to see hanging
up whenever he comes over...
Elle36...
i know how you feel, i don't anything from ss either, i mean nothing. not for any holidays or bdays. i don't care much about it cause i don't expect anything from him. like i said he ignores me. i'm sure the teacher did not do that on purpose, she was probably too busy. i know it hurts.
-happy mom
Sometimes is a matter of supplies...
Sometimes, in a school activity, if you allow one child to make 'two' items is spells over to other children that aren't in the same situation and all of a sudden, you have children that want to make one for Mom, Grandma, Auntie, and Cousin Lou... so I don't believe that it was the teacher's intention to 'leave you out' on purpose, but merely because it is for mother, and mother is BM. Yes, we represent a mother figure in their father's home- but I believe it is not up to us, nor the teachers, but our DH's to remind these children proper etiquette and respect by teaching their children to take the time to recognize us. As a spouse/girlfriend it is up to us to set a precedence to our significant other by either asking them to put themselves in our shoes, explain to them that it would be thoughtful to take the children out and pick a card, do a craft, etc- for us- early in the relationship, get it engraved I suppose you could say. Just place that bug, bluntly, in their ear. We can not expect everyone to be mind readers, so we have to talk about it at one point.
Another thing, is that sometimes, a child is confused and doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but the truth of the matter is... in class, they talk and think about Mom, because the teacher asked them too. Teacher's don't always know the dynamics of each child's home. They may not know that the two women don't get along, or that they are best friends. Their focus isn't on that, it's on teaching the kids. They made the gift for Mother- for Mother's Day. And the kids, as soon as they see SM's face, they are immediately reminded and think quick on their feet to not hurt our feelings. Some woman do wear their feelings on their sleeves, and the kids pick up on it.
I would say that if you don't expect anything, you should leave it at that, if you do expect something, than you need to talk to your DH- without nagging or bitching- that it would be nice for him to take the kids out and get a card for you, etc. Be simple with it.
Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...