Would you tell?
DH is a shoot the messenger kind of person, and if I even bring up SD19 it pretty much guarantees a fight, so...
I believe DH has no real idea of the situation SD19 has gotten herself into with regard to the boyfriend.
Let me lay this out there for you:
SD is dating (and sleeping with) a 26 year old man
Said man has six kids with three women
Said man has not stayed with any of these women
Some woman said man got pregnant just recently (like last week) had a miscarriage. He wasn't with her any more at that time either
SD may be pregnant
I believe SD has been lying to DH about what she is doing, as she went out of town for the weekend with this guy, and DH helped foot the bill. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have done that if he knew she was going with a man, but not completely sure.
If this was my kid, I would want to know about the self-destructive behavior. I would want the opportunity to invite her to pull her head out of her ass before it's too late.
Should I say anything to DH or just let it ride? DH still supports SD19 and gives her money all the time, as well as helping pay for her college.
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That's my instinct, but then
That's my instinct, but then he would want to know how I knew and then he would fixate on that and try to shoot holes in my story and make it me not liking her or wanting to get her into trouble. Then he would call her and she would say it was a lie and of course he would believe her and yadda yadda yadda. It is SO not worth it, but not sure I can stand by and watch the train wreck.
Tell him!! Keep any
Tell him!! Keep any prospective demon spawn out of your,house! No lie!!!_
Can you play somewhat
Can you play somewhat dumb?!?! Like somehow say "Honey, can you believe what this person said about SD's BF? He has 6 kids and recently impregnated this other lady last week. The nerve of this lady/dude to assume your SD would be with someone like that!?!?" You mentioned it and planted the seed...but put the blame completely on someone else.
I'm torn between concern for
I'm torn between concern for how SD19's stupid decisions will affect our family and our finances, but it already is, so...
SD19 just HAD to go out of town last weekend for God knows what. Spent two nights in a hotel and daddy dearest footed the bill. I found out she took boyfriend with her and they spent the weekend drinking in the hotel. It burns my butt to think our money funded that, and I'm pretty sure DH does not know.
Things like this keep happening and swinging me closer to the desire to tell DH the whole story in the hopes he will FINALLY open his eyes.
I have a hard time NOT
I have a hard time NOT talking about her when I find out how much he favors her over our two BDs or me. I actually found a text SD19 posted where DH bought her an iphone 5 for her half-birthday. Are you kidding me?! Neither of our two BDs got a single damn thing for their half-birthdays but SD19 gets an iphone 5, which no one else in the family has? Then yesterday BD9, who was using an old iphone without service to play games, asks to buy a game for 0.99 and he tells her not to ask him to buy a single thing on that phone. So he spent well over $100 for a NEW iphone for SD19 but BD9 can't get a damn 0.99 game? THAT is when I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut about SD19.
My instinct (based on what
My instinct (based on what you've said) says not to tell him. She's an "adult" and can make her own mistakes and hopefully if she makes those mistakes your DH will wise up - and you will not ve responsible for them.
If you do think it's best for you to tell him, I would phrase it in a "matter of fact" way. DH, this is what I heard/saw/noticed, I have no idea if it's true but I wanted you to know what's out there. No accusations, no pressure. If he ignores it, his problem; of he doesn't, same.
Should I say anything to DH
Should I say anything to DH or just let it ride? DH still supports SD19 and gives her money all the time, as well as helping pay for her college.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
Isn't your DH the one that uses your money to support his grown DD? And the one that told you he would divorce you if you split money?
I have been where you are. I got to where I did not tell DH all of the crap I found out about SS. I also stopped looking because it was driving me crazy. Lol.
But every now and then, I would throw out something that I knew just to make ME feel better. If it would make you feel better, I would just throw it out there to DH, very off handed, and then do not say another word about it. It would also be good to stop paying attention to her, but I know you need to so you can see where your money goes. UGH. What a mess.
I learned long ago that being
I learned long ago that being the bearer of bad news was detrimental to my marriage. I have not mentioned the skid's nefarious activities to DH in years. My cousin's kids go to school with SD20 so she is always telling me about SD20 latest stunt, ie - drunken parties, acedemic probation, selling her meds to other students, hook ups with several guys in a weekend, etc.
I looked surprised and fake concern if DH ever mentions any of it. And surprisingly I have not heard the phrase " you hate my kid" in years. I let the skids behavior speak for itself. I am a happier person for it.
Vickmeister, SD19 would move
Vickmeister, SD19 would move into my house over my dead body and DH knows it. So I'm not worried about that. It's more the continued outflow of cash from our account to hers, which I know would only accelerate if SD19 had DH's precious "first grandchild." And considering this "man" has not stayed with a single one of the women he has knocked up and considering he has SIX previous children to pay CS for, I'm sure SD19 would cry poor to daddy and get his sympathy.