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Oh, so sweet

Elizabeth's picture

So this has nothing to do with MY step situation, there is nothing sweet about it. But I just had to share.

Friend of mine posted on Facebook about her stepdad, who passed away 20 years ago. Evidently today is his birthday, and she was talking about how much of an impact he had on her as a child. It was so sweet. See, sometimes step-situations don't turn out so bad.


zerostepdrama's picture

I have a great relationship with my SM. She married my dad when I was 16.

I also had a SF. He passed away a few years back. Prior to that he hadn't been married to my mom for quite some time. But he did have a huge impact on my life.

I've been very blessed in the step situation where I am the skid.

Elizabeth's picture

But I'm sure you had a big part in being blessed, from your own attitude and actions. That's what I could never get DH to see about SD. No, it's not necessarily "fun" to be a product of divorce, but you can't act like a bit&h about it your entire life.

zerostepdrama's picture

Yeah I was young when my parents divorced and my mom got with my SF about a year or two later so that was the family life that I knew.

Plus my mom wasn't some crazy BM. She moved on when her and my dad divorced. Her and my SM are very cordial and friendly when they see each other.

I know my mom and SF had some issues with his ex at the beginning but over time that chilled out too.

I'm glad that my parents divorced because I feel that I have had an awesome life and I am glad to have my SPs in my life and I really dont know any different.

But the MOST IMPORTANT thing is how my parents were and what they approved of and didnt approve and how they acted. They set the example.

Too often we blame the skids but looking at their example- our SOs and BMs and they things they do and what they let the skids get away with, its really no wonder the skids are such messes.

Elizabeth's picture

You're right, the maturity (or not) of the bioparents has a big part to play in this. SD was only 2 when DH and BM divorced, BM got remarried when SD was 4, this life is really all she has known, so her "adjustment" to me shouldn't have been that difficult, but it was/is.

biomomof1's picture

i am a child of divorce... and my step dad is amazing he is better as a father than my dad but i made that observation on my own without my mom talking about my dad... i am now 25 w a ss and a bio child.... my husband and i have been together for 5 1/2 years (ss6).... my ss hates me bc his mom talks shit about me (he loves me when he wants something he lives w dh and i) ... . my dh and i never talk about bm and boyfriend when ss is around but in all reality most if not all stepdads have it better bc fathers normally dont sit around and talk about the SO of the BM