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DH told me last night that SD20 is my legal dependent

Elizabeth's picture

Ha ha ha, um, no.

We were discussing the insurance issue. Turns out BM covers SD20 on her insurance and SD20 doesn't use DH's insurance, maybe just a couple of times for vision coverage. So covering her would be an unnecessary extra expense for something she doesn't use.

We talked about covering DH on my insurance, as we already cover our two BDs on mine because DH's is so bad. So he says, "Why can't you just cover SD20 on your insurance?"

I'm sorry, but there are several reasons:
1. She is NOT my legal dependent.
2. She is an ADULT, she needs to get her shit together and stop relying on others. Yes, she is in college, but there are plans for college-aged kids. I was on one.
3. She treats me like crap. Why should I do something that is a benefit to her?
4. She is on all sorts of medication DH doesn't even know about and I suspect she lies about her "problems" to get controlled substances, which she then sells/trades with other people. I don't need that coming back on me.

So he tried to argue with me on point 1 and say she IS my legal dependent because she is my step-child. I said, "How about BM cover HER child on her insurance the same way I cover MY children on my insurance?" He didn't have anything to say about that.

Comments

karenemoy's picture

for my company the only way to cover stepkids 1) had to be in divorce decree that DH had to provide insurance 2) had to live with us, which you had to prove with a court order.

FYi to your DH you a stepkids are no more your legal responsiblity that a stranger on the street. A 20 is no one legal dependent.

Elizabeth's picture

If DH wants it or thinks it, it should be. So of course I get argued with that my company SHOULD allow me to cover SD20. That's nice dear. You call them up and tell them that. Just don't use my name.

Sweet T's picture

Dual insurance... I think when you have 2 insurances the primary is who ever's birthday is 1st in the year. So for example if BM's birthday is in January & DH ( Dumb husband's) is in May, BM's insurance is the promary... so if she has an 80/20 program all DH's insurance would ever pay is the remaining 20%.. hardly a reason to pay for really expensive insurance for skank daughter.

Jsmom's picture

Seriously at what point is a person responsible for themselves? If you are a full time student with good grades, I will cover you. Beyond that get a job and get your own insurance private or otherwise. I have done it and it is possible....Just go without in order to pay for it....Stop expecting a handout...

Elizabeth's picture

That's the rub. She IS a full-time student, BUT she is taking the minimum courses every time, I don't see any way she can graduate in four years. In addition, she only has a 2.5 GPA and it will continue to drop based on her current performance (Cs on tests, etc.). She is just using college to get out of facing the real world a while longer and is on her way to becoming a functioning alcoholic. So I think it is time she see what it is like to be responsible for herself. On the other hand, DH will excuse her all things because she is a "college student."

Jsmom's picture

I would say no and tell him exactly that. She is not making a future for herself with those kind of grades. My son is in college and his degree is a 4.5 year plan and that is with all the AP classes he had taken in HS. She will be on a 5.5 year plan at that rate. Offer to consider it if her GPA is a 3.0 with at least 13 credit hours. Otherwise, the answer is no and he and BM can figure it out....Not your problem, not your kid....

Sweet T's picture

Too bad her parents can not see that they have set her up to be an utter failure. THey did not give her the skills to be anything more than a leach. I hate to say this but your husband will always have an excuse and will always choose her over anything else. Not to be mean, but do you think he suffers from bipolar or some other real mental illness? I always wonder... my husband is bipolar so not judging.

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

"How about I COULD, but I'm NOT going to because I don't want to because let's face it, you raised a real bitch there!"

Um, NO. You don't reward people for being assholes by giving them something for nothing.

Did you know that as a GROWN ASS ADULT, she can utilize this amazing tool called "the interwebs" and find her OWN insurance, purchase it, and take care of her own medical needs and copays? It's BRILLIANT. If she is truly so financially bereft that she cannot afford it, she can take her pay stubs or lack of pay stubs down to the welfare office and get on Medicaid or Chip or whatever it is where she lives. If she doesn't qualify, guess what? She can get a job where she can get insured! So many options! Being a grown up is fun!!!!!