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Last night was bad

Dusti's picture

So after I left here yesterday I made 2 more appointments with criminal attorneys, had some work meetings and took dd to her dr. appointment. I am sorry I wasn't able to answer your questions. DD is NOT impaired in any way. No way could we claim that and get away with it. I wasn't calling my dd trash just that I felt like trash. It was a bad choice of words and I was having a low point. I won't use it again. I can't remember all the questions asked so if you have one please ask here and I will answer.

Dd had her first dr appointment at the ob to find out all the information and what our options are. DD was further along then she let on. 14 weeks and pregnant with TWINS!!! I couldn't fucking believe it!! DD was crying and so was I but it wasn't tears of joy. I should have known since twins run in the family. So dd has been a mess since. I called dh on the way home and told him the "news" and I was really upset. I was hoping he would blow off ss and come home and hold me for a while. I just needed a damn hug. I didn't ask and he didn't pick up on it. Now I would never try to come between them! If he missed last night he would have made it up with any other day they wanted. I am encouraging of him spending time with SS. SS NEEDS it! But last night I just needed him to hold me and tell me it would be okay.

When dh got home dd was already in bed and dh came in and laid with me giving me the hug I needed. Then he lost all trust I have ever given him! He told me ss was shocked DD was having twins. He fucking told HIM!!!! I couldn't believe it! I went off on him and told him he betrayed me!! It was the biggest fight we have ever had and then dh points out that ss was 13 when they conceived. Then he starts in on my dd and saying awful things about her. I told him to leave but he just went and slept on the couch. This morning we didn't say 2 words to each other. I am mentally exhausted!

Comments

Dusti's picture

Yes. We went in to talk with the dr and get advice and dd to get examined. They did the ultrasound to determine how far along she was.

Dusti's picture

They gave us information on where to go. Her dr. doesn't do them. DD is calling today to get all the information and find out what she needs to do if she decides to abort which is looking more and more likely.

Monchichi's picture

Ladies, in South Africa they consider it 12 weeks and that is the latest we may legally terminate for non medical reasons. My math is fine and I wasn't aware you could do it later in the States. It's not very big here or widely done.

Dusti's picture

I appreciate the advice you gave me yesterday. I don't want this to be an abortion debate. Just trying to find support.

robin333's picture

Dusti, I am sure to get crap for this but I have been thinking about your situation and your DD. I am going to tell you what I would do if this was my daughter.

First, I would honor my daughter's wishes. No one while I breathe will dictate what my DD choses to do with her body, including me. Thinking about forcing someone to have a baby for punishment is one of the most disgusting things I have heard.

Second, I am not excusing anyone here. My primary goal would be to protect my daughter. I would say she had a miscarriage and I would move quietly and quickly out of state. This is after you get a criminal lawyer consult and get every piece of evidence of BM blackmailing you.

I don't think you are going to get support from your DH on this. And honestly, SS and DD do not need to ever see each other again if he is the manipulator you say as well as BM'S hatred for your DD.

That is not legal advice, but my personal plan if in your shoes.

DaizyDuke's picture

I'm sorry, but I have to say it and I know I'm going to get flamed and de-friended and called a jerk but I don't care. At 14 weeks, you can obviously see and hear a heart beat... not one, but two heartbeats. It makes me literally sick to my stomach that everyone is crying "run, abort fast". Obviously everyone is entitled to their own opinion, so I am stating mine. There are literally thousands of good people out there who can not have children and desperately want them, why is the idea of putting these babies up for adoption such terrible thing?

... and I'm not debating this shit.... not going there.. just wanted to state my opinion. Sad

robin333's picture

Daizy, I respect your opinion. I'm not debating either. I just firmly believe that woman should be the one to make choices about their body. When we give that up, I think we will be screwed. I'm not pro abortion, but pro choice. It would break my heart If my DD decided to have an abortion but I would honor her wishes (after much talking through different scenarios). Would not be my personal choice but I wouldn't take away her right to choose.

notsobad's picture

This is exactly why I am pro choice.

This girl made a huge mistake in sleeping with her stepbrother. His mother is now blackmailing her with jail and a sexual predator label for life if she doesn't go thru with the pregnancy.

She is the only one who is going to have to live with this decision for the rest of her life.

No one should force her to abort this pregnancy.

No one should force her to give these babies up for adoption.

And no one should force her keep these babies.

WalkOnBy's picture

I have twins. I saw and heard two heart beats. I saw 4 legs and 4 arms and 2 heads....

If this were my daughter, I would not let anyone force her to carry children she does not want.

OP - you have said that she is developmentally delayed - is it enough so that she has or needs a guardian? If not, the choice is hers to make. Not yours. Not mine. And certainly not BM's.

How any of us feel is irrelevant....be your child's advocate.

Willow2010's picture

How do you know SS was sexually active before the age of 13?

And I am sorry but...if my DD was 13 and got knocked up by an 18 year old...I would be screaming bloody murder. Does your DD know or care that she is guilty of rape? What about the 13/14 year old? Has he received any help for what HE may be going through. He was only 13 for craps sake.

Dusti's picture

DD knows she was wrong. She won't do it again. This has frighten the crap out of her. SS was active with his last girlfriend. DD walked in on them. Help for what? He isn't pregnant. He isn't losing ANYTHING here!

Willow2010's picture

Your DD raped him when he was 13.

what makes you think he is not losing anything? If your DD gets an abortion, he losed his 2 kids. If she gives them away for adoption, he loses his kids.

Willow2010's picture

If this was a 13 year old girl and an 18 year old boy....people would be calling for his head on a platter. NOT telling him how to skip out on being thrown in jail.

Willow2010's picture

This happened when she was 18 and the boy 13. How is that a freshman and Junior? This would be more like a Senior and a 7th grader. yuk!

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

yEP, she said her DD was a micro premie and was delayed on all of her milestones and started school late

justanothergurlNJ's picture

AGREED!

Dusti's picture

I agree with you but dh is adamant that his son has a right to know as he is the father. Please! The kid is still a damn baby. No way can he be a father!!

Dusti's picture

I am so disappointed with him and sad. He really is a good man until this mess. I do believe he is just as lost as I am. His parenting abilities suck! The kid is polite and does his chores and good in school but he is a sleaze!

Disneyfan's picture

Why wouldn't he tell his kid? The SS is the father of those babies. :?

Expecting him to be loyal to his step kid is nuts. When shit hits the fan, 9 times out of 10 your loyalty will lie with your bio kid.

I don't get all the hand wring going on. This adult made the choice to have sex now she freaking out over an expected outcome of that choice.

If she didn't want keep the kids, why didn't run to a clinic as soon as she found out she was pregnant? She's an adult, so waiting for mommy to gather the needed information doesn't cut it.

The more I read, the crazier this all sounds. What's wrong with the women in that town? How the hell can a 13/14 year old boy talk grown ass women out of their panties???

Dusti's picture

I'm sorry you don't believe my life but please keep it to yourself as the advice I got yesterday was extremely helpful! I am looking for advice and support.

Dusti's picture

Crew hook sounds a lot like troll. I am not new to the internet. I can grasp what certain words mean.

WalkOnBy's picture

foxie would have been more successful if she left off the word "hook." Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what "hook" means in the context in which foxie used it.

Monchichi's picture

Right, now I am going to add my 5 cents. I love every single one of these ladies who have posted here but quite frankly your 18 year old daughter was banging a 13 year old little boy in your house while in your care and you want support? You want us to buy in to this. I have 2 daughters and neither would live long enough after they told me this little fairy story. It's disgusting. I have zero support for you and your daughter.

Edited to add: feel free to delete my post. If this is real I am disgusted beyond words.

Dusti's picture

I agree with you. 100% I am disgusted by it also. More so to know he was 13 and not 14, although 14 doesn't make it better just less gross. I am livid with my dd but I also have to protect her and her future. I can't just toss her on the street. My job is to protect her and make sure she never does anything like this again!

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

When I first came here I was called a liar and a troll. About a month ago, I came across where the Other Woman wrote an article for a Magazine detailing what I came on here and said happened years and years ago. I posted it with "SEE! HERE! I told you guys I wasn't lying. I know my story was crazy but it's true! here it is in this Cosmo type magazine. and the author is the other woman!" I got like four pages of "get over it" and how I need therapy to move on from my cheating ex.

Well, I for one , believe you. I'm sorry this happened to your DD. I think you are getting sound advice about getting her away from your SS. As for your marriage and if you should stay with your husband, you have a lot of soul searching to do.

I have know a lot of preemies who have grown up and yes being born premature can set you back years developmentally. I've posted pictures of my Step daughter here before. I posted pictures of her when she was 14 and she looked and acted like she was 21 or older.

I've also worked 16 years in a police department and the Sheriff's Office. But in Florida and not Georgia. I don't think she's going to get labeled as a sex offender. She's in high school and he's in high school.

Admin came here over the summer and told us we are to stop calling people liars and trolls. It still happens a lot though.

Dusti's picture

You don't think an 18 yr old who is pregnant and in high school wouldn't be scared to death? Plus the fact that it is her step brother, then add in he is underage. She is right to be scared to death and I have a right to be angry (and feel like trash even though ya'll didn't like that word!!)

Disneyfan's picture

Your daughter is just shook because BM is about to give her pure hell for messing with her son. To be honest, if a grown woman had touched my son, I would have beat her ass.

Disneyfan's picture

*****

notsobad's picture

What a mess. I'm not sure what I would do if I were in your situation. But here's my 2 cents.

It is your daughters decision to continue with this pregnancy or not, the same with keeping the babies if she choses to have them. Not your decision, SSs or BMs, hers and hers alone. I understand that there are a lot of factors but she is the one who has to make this decision.

Your daughter was completely in the wrong and has to face the consequence. I don't care how good looking, smooth or sexually attractive SS is, he is a child and your daughter is not.
If the roles were reversed and your daughter was a provocative, attractive, sexually active 13 year old and her nerdy plain 18 year old step brother slept with her, there would be hell to pay.

We talk a lot on here about skids not have any consequences to their behaviour. Well, this is a doosey and your daughter is going to have to admit what she did was wrong and that she is sorry for it. And take whatever consequences come from it.
It's a very hard life lesson and not in any way fair, but life isn't fair.

Get a good lawyer and ask for mercy from the courts. Try to get BMs offer in writing. It may help your daughter for the courts to see how BM tried to blackmail her.

Dusti's picture

I can't do that. I'm sorry but I can't have her turn herself in. Not unless the other 2 attorneys have a much different opinion than the first attorney.

Dusti's picture

We are taking action. I took her to the dr yesterday and today she is making an appointment and getting info at the clinic. If I was sitting at home right now I wouldn't be able to do any more than we have. Yesterday I made 2 more appointments with criminal attorneys. What else can I do right now???

twoviewpoints's picture

But none of that makes the potential charges (if filed) go away. Disposing of babies immediately and all hush-hush doesn't remove evidence of 18yr old having sex with 13yr old. The sex evidence is on the phone. No actual pregnancy was needed for BM to pursue charges on the adult.

Abortion, fake miscarriage, running out of state... none of it changes the statutory rape. Not even declaring consensual sex.

notsobad's picture

This is what I was getting at.
On the other thread OP said that BM will press charges and make this a big thing if they go ahead with the abortion. DH said she will follow through with the threat.

I think OP should be prepared for her daughter to have to deal with this.

justanothergurlNJ's picture

Turn herself in???? There hasn't even been charges filed against her. Kinda jumping the gun. Get the abortion, say she had a miscarriage and let sleeping dogs lie unless BM is all about resurrecting them. Then she has to prove your DD was pregnant in the first place and prove she had an abortion. It's all HEAR say with out proof. I don't care what state you live in I am pretty sure there is this thing called patient doctor confidentiality. Who's to say your dd isn't making it all up to get attention. See where I am going with this.

notsobad's picture

I guess that came out wrong.

I'm not saying turn herself in.

I'm saying don't bow to BMs blackmail. If she wants to end the pregnancy, then do it, do it quickly and don't say a word to DH or SS and BM will be at the clinic to stop it!

However, I do think that BM will make good on her threats and you'd better be ready to deal with it.

What are you going to do? Tell your daughter to lie and say she never slept with SS? Run away and hope that BM, DH and SS don't track you and your daughter down? Get the abortion and lie and say she miscarried?

In the end you either do as BM demands, lie or your daughter faces the music.

I'm say she should face the music.

Dusti's picture

I'm sorry. I will find some where else to post. Thanks for those that gave me advice yesterday.

robin333's picture

Love you Jasper! Don't forget criminal attorney as well after the urgent issue is addressed.

WalkOnBy's picture

at 14 weeks, they are not fully developed, monkey. But, I agree with your sentiment that this is getting to be too much. I am out as well.

justanothergurlNJ's picture

Also not viable outside of the womb!!!! This is NOT an abortion debate. This is her body her RIGHT to choose!

Stepped in what momma's picture

You need to delete all of these blogs asap and button your lips, trust no one.

DarkStar's picture

Dusti, you have a lot of sh!t headed your way in dealing with this situation. If a few chicks online are scaring you off, how are you going to have the mental fortitude to deal with this situation??

Channel your focus...one thing at a time....focus on the pregnancy and if your daughter wants to terminate, focus on getting that done first.

It's a shame she is that far along in her pregnancy, but you can't focus on what you can't change. A second term termination is not ideal, but it can be done.

And step-brother/step-sister hook ups happen ALL.THE.TIME. Hell 20 years ago when I was in high school, a very good friend of mine was having sex with her step-brother.