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SS loses face

Drac0's picture

Note: What I am about to write here I already shared with my cubicle mates at work. To say their sides were splitting with laughter puts it mildly. Manager had to come by to tell us to keep it down as we were disturbing the other workers.

So after last nights episode of “I can’t sleep because I needs my precious electronics”. DW got a bottle of Melatonin. She showed it to SS.

SS Feaked out.

“I don’t wanna take medicine!” He yells.

Big drama ensues. Lots of whining and tears streaming down his face.

DW stuck to her guns.

“Either you take this like a man, or I am holding you down and forcing it down your throat!”

I look at DW and I swear, I felt like I was falling in love with her all over again.

“Babe?” I ask. “You want me to hold him down?”

“QUIET YOU!”

“Yes Sister Jude...”

SS takes the melatonin but is still protesting. Saying it’s gross...

How can it be gross? They’re in pill format

BS and BD are oblivious to all this as they are watching TV in the living room.

Approximately 5 minutes before bedtime, I instruct SS to put all his electronics in the Tupperware container like last night. SS does so.

DW leaves the house momentarily to go see a neighbour about something (neighbour’s kid goes to the same school as ours and had some documents to give us).

At about 15 minutes past his bed time, I go check the container. All the electronics are there, except his cell phone.

I barge into SS room and demand he fork it over.

“Dad says you can’t take my cell phone away from me.” SS says.

“Oh really!?” I reply “Tell your Dad to call me. I would LOOOOOVE to have a conversation with him about that. Now give me your cell before I tear this room apart!”

SS gives me the phone but it is clear he is not happy about it.

DW comes home. I tell her what happened. She rolls her eyes and we climb into bed ourselves.

At about 11:00pm we are both woken up to the sound of SS crying hysterically.

“What’s wrong now?” DW asks.

“My face!” SS stammers. “I can’t feel my face!”

“Oh. Come. ON!!!” DW retorts. “SS, when is this going to end?”

“But I can’t feel my face Mom!”

“Trust me, your face is still there.”

DW had to sit in bed with him until he calmed down and went to sleep. DW thinks SS may have tried using some of her Proactive on his face because he is complaining of acne.

Comments

Drac0's picture

Yeah. I don't really blame DW for sitting down with him (it wasn't for very long) but I would have loved to have seen her slap him.

momandmore's picture

LOL!!

Ninji's picture

Good God....Your posts scare me sometimes. SS9 was crying huge tears over the weekend because he couldn't think of something soft in his room for a homework question.

I pray that he isn't your SS's age and still with the tears running down his face crap.

StepKat's picture

O.o

princessmofo's picture

"I can't feel my face!" My reply would have been, "If you don't stop hissy crying hysterically your going to feel my foot up your ass! Now be a man, suck it up, rub some damn dirt in it and move on!" Mother of all that is decent and holy! I don't know how you do it, Draco...

Tuff Noogies's picture

what the phuc was she doing "sitting" with him like a toddler?

gah your wife is exasperating....

i'd also take sweetpea's approach on his numbness issue... Blum 3

and u are freaking hilarious - "sister jude" hahahahhaaha Biggrin

KiFire's picture

Despite the varying, constant, and sometimes violent attempts by both of my parents...I am 25 and can't swallow a pill, sorry not sorry. I take liquid medicine when it's available, but if it's not reasonable or possible, I can and will just chew up a pill and chase it with a drink.

DaizyDuke's picture

Holy fuck! This kid is going to be 16 soon and driving a 1 ton motor vehicle! I'm pretty sure we do not live in the same state... let's keep it that way! The kid could make better use of a diaper and pacifier than a Driver's license.

Drac0's picture

He won't have trouble driving.

Directions on the other hand....

I can see it now...ask him to drive south, he'll head towards where the sun is rising.

misSTEP's picture

Although I don't have any funny anecdotes about it, I had a medications convo with SD once. She is totally opposite in this regard to your SS. This happened because BM took the skids in excessively. For SD, it was because of acne. She would take her to a doc or many docs until one doc referred her to a dermatologist. She would also get second and third opinions a lot. And doctor shop, which was a waste of money IMHO for acne. Then she would get SD prescribed with antibiotics and other meds of some kind. Please believe me that SD did NOT have the worst case of acne I have ever seen!

So anyway, once I asked SD what she used to wash her face. I was going to recommend what I used to help me (even as an adult, my skin is oily). Here is what she said to me, word for word, "I don't wash my face. I'd rather take a pill because it is easier!" I was like :jawdrop: WTG, MOTY. Teach your kids to over-medicate rather than teach them proper hygiene!

hangingbyathread6's picture

That is my OSS. BM decided to be MOTY and take him to the Dr because we wouldn't for his acne. Because it's not that bad, and when he does wash his face regularly it is significantly better. But noooooooo....so BM brings him to a Dr. gets a prescription pill and a prescription face lotion. Ask me what he does...

Yup! You guessed... he takes the pill. The face lotion...he's had it 6 months, it's a small bottle....never had to be refilled...but on his 5th script of antibiotics.

Way to teach how to take care of yourself and work at something....sigh

Drac0's picture

SS did this once. And only once.

DW was 8 months pregnant with BD. SS was in his room while we were in the living room watching TV.

SS texts: " C U getme a coke"

DW quietly gets up, goes downstairs to the fridge (we keep our soda pop downstairs). Gets a can. Walks to his room, and throws it at him. "Next time get it yourself!"

Best parenting I have ever seen DW do was when she was pregant. It's the only thing that works with SS.

You put the fear of God in him and he won't pull this sh*t!

Drac0's picture

Maybe Iron Man can see himself changing diapers in his 50s, but not me.

Besides I got the snippy snippy.