You are here

If something happend to your SO, would you want to look after your step?

Drac0's picture

This was posed as a comment in the LOVE forum post.

This question hits me at a time when I am feeling pretty sh*tty at the moment (nursing a bad cold). Honestly, I can't imagine my life without DW in it, but if something would happen I would look into the possibility of looking after SS, out of respect for DW because I know that is what she would want. However, I wouldn't get into a fight with Donkeykong either. I don't think a step-father can trump the bio-father in a court of law. So should such a tragedy occur, I guess I would be relegated to *trying* to get into Donkeykong's good graces for the sake of my two bios. They love their big half-brother and I would do whatever I can so that they could spend some time together.

I dunno...Maybe I am just loopy from my meds...

Comments

Drac0's picture

Well, it's a good question and it hit me this weekend in a discussion I was having with DW. Not sure it's a good question to talk about while a little tipsy Biggrin

vsherry88's picture

I don't think so, mainly bcuz she doesn't even acknowledge me right now. I'm sure if her daddy was gone she would go to her bm.

savemysanity's picture

I need some of those meds you're on. Dirol I'm a little resentful of you stepdads right now. Thank God for you all, but I hate you. I have NO doubt in my mind that my SO would still be a part of my kids' lives if something should happen to me, and that my children's father would never prevent that. Of course, my children don't scream and cuss and manipulate and lie about him, so yeah, I understand. There is a mutual respect between them.

But hell, I don't EVER want to see my SKs again, whether SO is living or dead. The sad thing is, I used to care very deeply for them. I honestly didn't think I could love three children as much as I did them without actually giving birth to them. I think that's why it hurts so bad. If I hadn't loved them, it wouldn't matter.

noway70's picture

I have a friend whose wife passed and he went on caring for her teenagers (BD lived across the country) and his own tenage daughter. He then married a woman who had 4 kids. So they had 7 in the house. These were good kids, but even so...

Shaman29's picture

DH's kid has a mother. There would be no reason in the world for her to live with me if something happened to her father.

Biological relatives will forever trump steps.

DaizyDuke's picture

My thoughts exactly. Of course my skids and I really don't like each other. I guess if it was 5 years ago when they were younger and we got along, my answer would be different. But my how things have changed in 5 years. And the fact that BMs are idiots and one is without a doubt an unfit parent, is not my problem.

It's funny to me how SD15 lives in my home and treats me with disrespect... I wonder if it ever crosses her mind that should something happen to DH that she would be out on her rear.. back with loser BM, back to the school district that she hates, back to not having everything handed to her... my what a shocker the princess would have!

Peaches's picture

DH and I recently discussed this. I love my SS's and so does my BS1 so if anything were to happen to DH I would fight tooth and nail for the brothers to still have contact with each other. I wouldn't drive myself nuts with it but I would try.

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

No.

askYOURdad's picture

I wouldn't necessarily "look after" them unless something happened to BM as well, but I would hope BM would allow them to continue to be part of their extended family along with their step siblings and any future half siblings

twopines's picture

Good heavens no. As minors, the skids had mom, grandparents, aunts, uncles, second cousins twice removed, etc. I would never have to see them again.

princessmofo's picture

Not just no, but Hell to the no. SS has a mother. And I would feel no substantial loss in the matter.

Yosemite's picture

Actually I did take in my stepdaughter. My exSO had joint legal custody of his daughter with EOWE visitation. He went to prison and I did not see former SD for years. Then out of the blue, CPS called because her BM was loosing custody and they wanted to know if I would be interested in taking her. In our state CPS prefers to place children with siblings if possible. Anyway, I got my license and took her in. I eventually adopted her because BM wasn't interested in doing what it took to regain custody. However, her BM has recently come back into the picture now that she is an adult with a child because she wants a do over with the grandbaby.

tryingmom's picture

If something happened to DH I wouldn't see the skids any longer. BM would make that very difficult. IF she was to allow DH's parents to see the skids I imagine I could see the skids with them.

If something happens to me, DH would keep in contact with my BS28. They have a good relationship and BS doesn't see his BD at all.

prayingmantis's picture

Depends on so many factors.....

But when push comes to shove, when my SKs are nice to me, I help them out.
Whey they are mean to me.....they don't get much.
Selfish of me.....but true :/

Classy's picture

My two sk's are now adults. But, if something had happened to their BD when they were minors I would have moved heaven and earth to keep them. My DH had full custody of his two children. When we got married the kids were only 2 and 4 years old. I raised them. They had visitation with their BM and they love their BM. I also love them and they love me too. I figure they were blessed because they had so many people who loved them. If my husband had died, I wouldn't have had a legal leg to stand on, except they were in a stable home and they had five half siblings. It would have been cruel to divide a family.