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"Boy! Someone got up on the wrong side of bed this morning!" O/T

Drac0's picture

That's what DW said to me when she joyfully asked me what plans we have for tonight.

Let's see....I have to shop for groceries and cook dinner. I can't drink any alcohol because my Dad has begged and pleaded with me to help him out with the situation with my grandmother. Long story short, we just put my grandmother in a residence home. She's a class 3 hoarder and is already stockpiling her little appartmentr with crap as if it was a bomb shelter. Her lease is very specific on this. If she hoards, they will break her lease. So my Dad is pleading with me to help him sort out what my grandmother needs/ doesn't need and shuttle the stuff back and forth between her old house and her new residence.

Oh and Dad needs me to catalog some stuff because he wants to sell it.

I kid you not, there is SOOOO much stuff to catalog. I told my Dad that the only way I can do this properly is if I quit my job and work on it full time. And it's not like you can just throw everything out. A lot of my grandmother's stuff is junk but she has a few art pieces that are quite valuable. There's a painting that is worth $10k.

I told my Dad that I am inundated with home renovation projects and I really don't have time for this, but he is begging....

And it's not like I can say no to family.

DW has revised "the TO DO list". This morning, just to force home the point of how ridiculous this exercise is, I wrote down. "Add more things to the list" as a listing. DW hasn't noticed, but I am sure she will.

So, everything I wrote above is just this evening's activities. Somewhere, in there, I need to find a couple of hours of sleep because BS and BD, will wake up even earlier than normal on Saturday. Why? Because it's the weekend and children ALWAYS wake up earlier on the weekends.

So like the Monty Python Skit, I will be getting up before I go to bed to tackle the items on this monstrous list in the vain hopes that somehow my house will reclaim some semblance of order.


To give you a hint at how frustrating that is, imagine playing Tetris where your screen is filled to the top but the blocks are coming down faster faster and faster.

That is what my life is like....

I somehow inhereted 3 TVs from my Grandmother's place, a slew of kitchen stuff, and a shoebox of tweezers. Yes, a shoebox of FULL of tweezers. Why does she have so many? I don't know. Maybe she needs one for each eyebrow hair.

DW, true to form, cannot stay on task and is still buying stuff for the house despite my explicit instructions NOT to do so.

Ladies, if I may impart this humble piece of advice. If you and your mate decide to renovate a room in your house - Paint the walls, or redo the floor, please, please, PLEASE, don't go out and buy a bird house "just because it was on special". I don't know why she did that. It wasn't even on the list. That's another thing to do. There is no end in site. Each weekend this list just gets longer and longer.

I don't look forward to the weekends anymore.

I'm missing something....

Oh yeah, and the In-Laws are coming this weekend for a visit. Supposedly FIL is going to try and convince us to go on another camping trip.

So no DW, to answer your hypothesis, I did not get up "on the wrong side of the bed" this morning. Like I told DTzy last week here on STalk. I am just having difficulty reconciling with the fact that I am no longer a man in my house but a glorified lifting crane with tools attached and you are my handyman "Pimp". Maybe, when I am permitted to isolate myself in a man-cave for 25 hours, I will return to my normal self. That's TOTAL isolation. Don't come see me unless you are bringing me beer.



Drac0's picture

Funny story!

I don't have a problem with DW assigning me a list of things to do...

My problem is that the list is a moving target. For every two things I accomplish on this list, three get added.

Monchichi's picture

Drac0 your wife would die with my SO. He has a list with 3 things on. The same 3 things he had on it 3 months ago. I just hand him the same list over and over until a miracle happens and he achieves all 3 items. He even gets a reward of favorite ice cream of extra computer time like a kid! Technically it only has 2 items left on it. Get Chucky to a shrink by 1 June or no visits at my home. Paint the wall in the lounge where you broke s glass on it.

Wait on second thoughts can I trade you for my SO?

Drac0's picture

>He even gets a reward of favorite ice cream of extra computer time like a kid<

Everytime I do good work around the house, DW rewards me with more work.

kathc's picture

I'd suggest having a dumpster delivered and throwing away all the things such as "shoebox full of tweezers" immediately. I'm willing to bet that would cut down most of it.

Don't you have any non-full-time-working relatives who can help him? How about your DW? It would stop her from buying stupid shit you don't need Wink

No saint's picture

When former SO and myself did some renovation work in our house, I did most of the work, so I don't get woman who are just there to buy or give opinion. sorry!

No saint's picture

I did all the yard work that was possible (some of it had to be a professional), painted walls, plastered, polished...
I like doing chores and stuff like that, especially when I see results, such as a much prettier house. Now, i wish all the plants die and the paint peels off!

IamexhaustedSM's picture

I have got to talk to your DW cause I need to get my DH to do list in order and get his butt moving Wink

Eventually it will all get done. Ask your dad if grandma's stuff can wait another weekend. If she is already moved and if there is nothing gross in the hoarding house then it can wait unless of course the house needs to get sold, then I understand the urgency.

Redredwine's picture

Wow, that sounds awful.

I feel for you. My DHs version of "done" with a task is way before I would consider the task he goes off to start something new or comes home, like your DW, with something new to be done. Then he gets a little bent when I innocently ask (okay, not so innocently now that I've learned) when he'll finish XYZ on the previous task.

We also make a list together of stuff to get done on a weekend. DH and I complete the list differently. I cross things off after they are done. DH crosses them off when he starts them. So...if he never finishes it looks like he did it! Argh!

And, I would hate to go through a hoarders house. I watched one of those hoarding shows once and I had to turn it off. I could not bear to look at all the stuff and watch the person freak out with the cleaning people to have them put all the garbage back!

Why not just rescue the things that are valuable and hire a hazmat team for the rest?

Redredwine's picture's the big question...where's tall boy? Couldn't he do some things?

Drac0's picture

He's with his Dad on the weekend.

He's supposed to be with us Memorial Day, but apparently there's this *thing* at his Dad's and SS really wants to go.

SS NEVER asks to spend more time at his Dad's.

Funny that the one time he asks to spend more time at his Dad's is the weekend we planned on starting to renovate HIS room.


I should take a page out of SS's book. Hit my head with a baseball bat, cry and lie on my ass playing video games all weekend and text DW to make me a sandwhich.

Drac0's picture

>Does your dad have other siblings who could pitch in? <

My brother is in on this as well and he is equally, (if not more) frayed at the seams than I am. Both his kids are sick (one is just 1 year old) and they keep him up at night. Everytime I see him, he acts like Grandpa Simpson. I swear, once he fell asleep standing up.

>I think you should let the chips fall where your grandma is concerned and
let her get kicked out of her living situation<

She just moved into the new place and that was a monumental task. Lots of crying, arguments, etc. My grandmother is a sweet lady but she has this HUGE martyr complex. She's already complained to the other residents that her family has "abandoned" her. I visit her weekly and my Dad sees her every day. My Dad has already lost it on her and I am needed to diffuse the situation.

>Do you fish?<

At this point, I'll do ANYTHING that involves, isolation, doing nothing, and consuming mass quantities of alcohol.

Drac0's picture


If I am not around next week, it is because DW has sent me to the clinic to have the doctor check out this sudden hearing problem I've developed.

Drac0's picture

Back when DW was pregnant and her hormones were all afire, SS texted DW "Can you get me a coke?" while we were watching a movie in the Den and SS was in his room.

I will never forget the calmness DW expressed when she politely asked me to pause the movie we were watching. She got up, walked to the fridge, got a coke, went to SS's bedroom, opened the door and threw it at him with enough force to get an MLB scout's attention.

SS never did that again for years. Now that SS's has dinged his head a few times, I think he is suffering from a memory lapse because he has started doing that again.