C-19 Crisis 2020: I'm so over this already
I rarely blog since I never have time but read most days. I figured I might take a stab at blogging again since I do like writing and now I'm home, with SO, who is driving me absolutely bonkers right now. We are snipping at each other constantly and it's only day three of being home from work and also shutting down our business.
SO and I have not been doing well for the last year or so... and I mean, on our way to break up. It's more of a relationship of convenience now as we attempt to build the business and sell it. Interestingly enough, we have been working together well to prepare for the pandemic, but I can't deny that our pre-pandemic problems are all still here, bubbling at the surface.
Some of you may recall me reaching out last year about SO. He turned back to Christianity and stopped sleeping in our bed, being intimate with me and having sex with me. It has been a rocky year but since C-19, he believes it is now the end of the world, as prophesized in the Bible, based on his interpretations. I, on the other hand, do not believe in God. You get where this is going, I'm sure. SO is very vocal about his beliefs, does not understand how I am unable to believe in what he believes in, and he is essentially harassing me non-stop. I'm over it. Yes, I'm taking this pandemic seriously and yes, there is a possibility that it's the end of the world as we know it, but I'm sorry, I just don't believe in God. I've had my own crises of faith in the past and nothing has led me to God or has led me to wanting to invite him in. I grew up Catholic. I have been exposed for a large majority of my life to Christianity and it is not for me for many reasons, too many to list. How do I navigate this C-19 crisis living in the same apartment as SO???? Ugh.
Skids are still seven hours away in Toronto and we have asked them to come up to our very small city so that they are safer but they refuse as they are upset with SO as he has pulled away from them because of their opposing beliefs as well. Now he questions why they will not talk to him and I just shake my head and recall countless conversations where I told him he would lose his sons if he didn't reach out neutrally to them instead of constantly forcing his beliefs down their throat. Now here we are and SO is devastated but still has hope that skids will change their mind and come and stay with us. Honestly, for me, that ship has sailed. BM is a nurse in a major Toronto hospital and skids still live with her even though they are in their early 20s. Risk is too high.
My employer has been fantastic considering I work in community mental health with the homeless. My job is considered quasi-essentially but mostly done face-to-face so we were sent home with pay. We can pay our personal bills during all this, however, we have had to close our business and have no funds to pay our bills as winter is already our slow time and we had no additional business funds available due to some major expenses we've had in the last bit.
How are you all doing during these trying times? Is this pandemic challenging your relationships? Any suggestions on activities to do while we are all hunkering down? We cleaned out our spare bedroom yesterday (think hoarders) and now we are putting all our emergency preparedness stuff together just in case.