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Can she keep him?

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

SO and I got to meet BM’s new guy yesterday. He’s physically much different than anyone else she’s dated before. I know that shouldn’t matter but BM has shown she has a type. Typically smaller than her since she has a history of physically abuse. His personality is also different. More teddy bear. Kid seem pretty normal around him so that’s good.

Already worried though. We know they haven’t been dating long and she already leaving the kids with him and expecting him to fill in where she can’t. Like expecting him to come get them for her instead of having her sister do it. She’s also already staying the night at his place with the kids.

He seems like he has potential to be good with the kids but I’m already placing bets on how long he’ll last. I don’t see him lasting even half as long as the last two guys. He doesn’t NEED her so I see him getting sick of her behavior really quick. Maybe I’m wrong and this will be the last guy………


ITB2012's picture

At least he "likes her kids" and "treats them like they are his own" and is "acting like a father" to them and it's nice how she "trusts him with the kids."

Goodluck's picture

Oh she is one of thosessss.

We have experience in this area...

Poor guy must not think he can do better SOoooo he must prove how paternal he is. I see this a lot with women too.

Can BM mail her own mail or does new bf do that too.???

Based on true story Wink

Sanfranciscobaby's picture

My skids BM’sboyfriend is a little pipsqueak too. He comes up to her shoulders. She likes little men she can abuse. DH is way bigger than her and stood up to her.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

SO could have stood up to her but wouldn’t because he knew she’d claim he was the one doing it. That’s exactly what she did when they divorced. Despite him having tons of evidence of her attacking him he’s the one who had to do anger management.

He has NEVER in the 3 years I’ve known him done anything aggressive towards me. He’s never belittled me or touched me in a way I didn’t want.


CLove's picture

Toxic Troll tried that game too - when they were battling over child support and custody - she tried to claim DH hit her. He responded with "no, you were drunk, tried to attack me and I had to push you away, and you fell".

He does not want to incur the wrath, so avoids confrontation. I just wish he could not have to deal with it. That "no" was a complete sentence isntead of always having to avoid the temper tantrums.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

She made the mistake of having posted indecent pictures on a public website which SO’s lawyer sent to hers. She lost her lawyer and SO preemptively took an anger management and parenting course before the new lawyer could even press the issue. Since the pictures we had technically proved she was living with a felon (again TECHNICALLY) she decided it best to drop the “he’s abusive” act.

He also still has photo evidence of what she did to him as well as former coworkers and a boss who knew it was going on and would testify for him if she wanted to go to court.

CLove's picture

LOL, this made me smile!

BM Toxic Troll also has issues with keeping a good man around. Her kids over the years have seemed very puzzled by this, munchkin sd13 in particular (rose colored glasses! Who would not want to be with MY MOM?). I dont get into it in an details, just say "her picker is broken" so it sounds like "its not her its them" (safe) or her "man sensor is off", again, "its not her its them". Im getting tired of this game, plus I am thinking that now its important that she understand that a person must BE who they want to BE WITH. Without me exactly spelling out the exact details of why momma cant keep a good man tied down to her for any length of time.

She has been better about bringing the guys into her kids life, and moving them in quickly, except for knife dude, who lasted a month, maybe.

Toxic Troll likes tall and bald and very "dude-ish", although shes getting less and less picky. That happens when you are hitting your 50's and are jobless, with an 11th grade education.

The countdown begins! Has it been a few weeks yet?

ndc's picture

We had some of that with BM here, too.  She dated one guy immediately after she and DH separated (and she'd also dated him for a few years before she and DH were married), and while the kids knew him and spent time with him, he never dropped them off, picked them up or watched them for her.  He was only around if she was.  Then she broke upw ith him got a new BF who was totally different from the old one.  He's quite a bit older than she is, financially well off, and also has a child.  He was picking up, dropping off and watching them pretty quickly.  They're engaged now, wedding date is set and it will be no more than a year from meeting to engagement to marriage for them.  We like him - he's a nice guy and he seems to love the kids.  Sometimes those "quick" relationships are quick all the way around.

notsobad's picture

It's always better around here when BM has a boyfriend. She depends less on SD to fill her need for love and adoration if she's getting from a man. We can always tell by SDs stress level if BM is dating or not.

BM's been in 2 serious relationships where they've lived together. Eventually, he doesn't support her like he should (means he's stopped paying for everything or he didn't back her up for something stupid) and they've broken up. When things start going bad BM dumps on the skids and tells them every little detail of what he's doing wrong. Then the skids don't like him and when they eventually break up, he's an ass and didn't deserve BM in the first place. This happens with guys she just dates too.

The interesting thing is that she used to tell everyone and anyone that DH was the problem in their relationship. He was the reason the marriage didn't work. The skids heard ad nauseam about how he ruined the marriage because he didn't care enough. She also thought that DH would never love anyone again, that he would sit and pine away for her and berate himself for not treating her as she thought she should be treated. Now here we are 15 years later, she's alone and DH and I are coming up on 12 years.

Livingoutloud's picture

So she asks a virtual stranger to drive her kids around? A guy she just met? Crazy BM. She is in a hurry to stick it to your SO. But no guys stick around 

well our BM didn’t find any permanent men yet 

When she found out that DH is dating (she ran into us a vacation town in our state, she was with her mother) she called DH screaming “admit you still love me and want me back” when he said she is dellusion she said “no woman will ever want you and i will ruin your life”. DH (a SO then) said to her she lost her mind and blocked her. 

Yes BM also accused DH of abuse. She believed that spousal support awarded to her wasn’t substantial enough and she wanted more due to abuse. When judge asked what abuse she is talking about she was vague and her main accusation wasn’t physical but emotional “he controlled me and prevented me from doing what I wanted”. That meant when he had to go to work as he was the only one working he didn’t want her to leave with their only car and leave him alone with kids so he wouldn’t be able get to work. He also objected to her having phone sex. Judge told her to stop the nonsense or she will be asked to leave.  

Our BM can trick a person to date her but it will never last. She isn’t self supporting and is too weird and too evil and it shines through very quickly.