First Granchild and dealing with events
My daughter is expecting her first baby. She had a baby reveal for the immediate family which did not include my hubby or my former husbands gf. My ex has never met my hubby of two years face to face yet. My hubby is great to me and my kids and would do anything for us. My ex is passive aggressive and drinks a lot. He was diagnosed with cancer shortly after the divorce and is very bitter towards my new hubby. My daughter explained to me that she did not want my hubby at the reveal because she didn’t want drama with her father. My hubby is very hurt that I went without him (although when he heard about it first he said he prob wouldn’t go due to work committments). I made the mistake of saying it was only immediate family going (her hubbys parents and siblings and her parents and sibling). Now he fears anything in the future that has to do with the new grandchild he will not be invited. He wanted me to tell my daughter I was not going unless he went. I couldn’t do this as I felt it would bring stress to her under her condition and would make her feel she had to choose between being anxious about her father being drunk and attacking her step father (who she says she admires) or me not being there for her special event. Now my hubby has got nasty to me and telling me to not expect him to be at ANY of all my family events again. This includes my sibling and parents events.
I’m at my wits end and feel torn in the middle of it all. What should I do? Should I try to arrange a first meeting between my ex and hubby on neutral ground so future events for my kids should not be this stressful?