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Had it

Dogmom23's picture

So I found out that dh is telling his ex wife that we have been fighting about his daughter. He also told his ex wife about my anxiety and how he and my mom are trying to get me help. He also told his ex wife that I said I wanted to go to my parents during his visitation because it is too stressful for me. He said all this to his ex wife during pick up. She told me. He said all he said was the truth. I have been with his daughter all day today because he said his back hurt. The ex wife threatened him with no more visitation if he cant get out of bed. Now he is enraged and wanted ME to talk to her about what a great dad he is.

I feel so betrayed. I am ready to end it. I am at the pool with his daughter because he is a POS meanwhile my own daughter is waiting to be picked up from her dads.

She is 9 and every second she is like watch this, watch me. She leaves tomorrow at some point in time

Comments

hereiam's picture

Oh, wow. I would be so hurt...and so livid.

He has no business telling his ex anything about you, your anxiety, or your relationship, whether it's the truth or not.

I would not be talking to his ex about what a "great" anything the jerk is. Nor would I be taking care of his daughter for him.

I don't know how you put up with the two of them.

susanm's picture

He gossiped about you to his ex-wife like a 1950's housewife over a fence to her neighbor and you are still watching his kid while he lounges in bed?  While your own child waits for you to pick her up?  You have got to be kidding me.  Tell him to get his A$$ up because you have officially resigned from b*tch duty of any kind.  His loose lips just sank his ship and it is going to take some serious groveling before you even consider looking in his direction again.  Wow.  That is some major league betrayal.  He may as well have stuck his tongue down BM's throat and sealed the deal.

SteppedOut's picture

Even under good circumstances, you should not be putting your daughter off for his. Why on Earth are you accepting this for yourself and your daughter?

hermoniegee's picture

Maybe he and his ex wife are seeing eachother again and that is why he goes over to "talk" to her.

Something is way off here.

 

ndc's picture

That is a HUGE betrayal. I would be very upset if my husband discussed that with anyone; I would be devastated if the convo was with his ex.  Is he usually this unthoughtul and disrespectful, or was this an aberration?

Dogmom23's picture

He actually told his ex wife that I am schizophrenic. I have never in my life been diagnosed with schizophrenia. Anxiety yes but never schizophrenia. I asked him why he would say this and he said he wants his ex to know its not Disneyland here and everything is perfect.

Rumplestiltskin's picture

He shouldn't give 2 sh!ts what his ex wife thinks or knows about your relationship! That is a major betrayal. 

Dogmom23's picture

He always puts his kid above mine. He constantly tells me his kid should be a model. She is a whiny average looking 9 year old. He says he is unhappy. He is unemployed and I pay for everything. I didn't want to be divorced twice. 

SteppedOut's picture

Holy Cow! 

All this crap AND he isn't working? Girl. Divorced 2x is way better than all this. 

You are modeling to your daughter how relationships should be and how you should let people treat you. Don't teach this to her. 

ndc's picture

Say goodbye to this one.  I would rather be divorced twice than be used by a guy who is being a jerk and put my kids in a position where they are "less than."

shamds's picture

since the divorce 

And he ignores any messages she has eldest sd24.5 send of what a great bio mum is apologizing when its just bs rants. Her having eldest sd relaying messages to hubby how she thinks her marriage is falling apart just falls on deaf ears. Anything about bio mum and stepdad falls on deaf ears. There is no communication from bio mum that hubby needs to ever get. The bitch can die and do the whoke bloody world a favour!!

never has he bragged or talked negatively about me to exwife or his kids.

his kids have major failure to launch issues, disrespectful, rude, do not respect our boundaries and are incredibly inappropriate to my kids. My daughter was 2.5 and sdwho was 24 at the time undressed my daughter to put a dress she bought for her on. I cam out of the shower in our 2 bdrm serviced apartment to see this.

hubby only found his balls december last year and told the bitch how out of line she was. She wasn’t my kids mummy, she doesn’t answer back to me when i tell her or her sister off how out of line they are being. Hubby will stand by me 100% as i am the primary child raiser in our household since hubby is sole income earner.

the only person spewing bs to crazy bio mum is a sil of hubbys that noone in family likes. After our wedding she straight away called bio mum to joke and laugh how ridiculous it was hubby married me and lets see how long their marriage will last.

women like this have no respect and are in unhappy unhealthy marriages themselves because normal people do not behave like this. That sil hates my husband because he dobbed to his mum that his brother who was engaged was cheating on his fiance with this woman. His mum told my bil off that in this family, we do not stoop this low so you make a decision. He chose the hobag he was cheating with to marry...

there needs to be trust in a marriage and respect to privacy and your husband taddle tailing issues like this is inappropriate because you 2 should be communicating any issues to one another

lieutenant_dad's picture

Oh man, he found the perfect woman for him. Someone who will take care of all his responsibilities while negkecting her own, all while sitting on his arse with a bum back and sowing seeds of God only knows what with the XW (I'm assuming she is his back-up in case this fails).

Get the hell out, find a good therapist that will help you with your anxiety AND your man-picker, and get back to being the best mother you can be for your daughter by showing her the example of a strong, independent woman. Divorced twice is the least of your worries right now.

This behavior shows two things to your DD and your SD: one, it's okay to let a man sponge off of you so long as you're married; and two, it's okay for a man to LIE about your mental health and expect you to remain his wife.

This is a no-brainer. He contributes nothing, he lies, and he's lazy. A goldfish would contribute more than this boy.

hereiam's picture

You would rather live like this, than be divorced twice?

Who cares if you're divorced twice, you made a mistake. This guy is telling people (his ex, no doubt) that you are schizophrenic.

I would rather be divorced twice (or more) than be with, and financially support, this asshole.