My 23 year ols ss has moved home twice in the last two years. The first time he was there 3m and we got all of his fines paid off his lic. back and auto insurance. Also $2000 in the bank. Also he was smoking pot in our house and had no rules that his mom will uphold. She wants a relationship with him so bad she overlooks everything and comments let me handle it. Within two months of moving out in 05 he had 3 drug charges 1 Drunk driving and lots of traffic fines. Has been in jail twice and never paid a fine unless arrested. I have worried since then of him moving back. In January when I was on a business trip she invited him over. I told he to make him leave. For the last 5 yrs he has not paid any rent anywhere. He Goes someplace and won't leave. She kept telling me not to worry. Well here we are three months later and no change. He told her he wanted to quit drugs and drinking so he had to move in. Well he goes out couple nights a week and dosent come home and sleeps all day. I did get him his old job back that he quit 3 months before moving home because his boss was mean. Since moving home I have found drugs twice in the house and could smell pot in the garage on other time. He is suppose to give us his checks and we give him a little spending money. Well out of 7 checks he kept 5 gave us $140 out of one $412 check and $60 out of the other and then got $150 from his girlfriend for his bar tab. What do I do I am at my wits end. He dosent want help he wants enabled and my wife thinks she is helping him. My wife keeps telling me that I am the adult and I keep telling her so is he. All I want is an exit plan, Time limit and some clearcut no break rules. If he breaks them he's out. I also have three other adult children 25,21,21. One of the 21 are my stepson. All out of house and responsible. We get along great. Also we have an 8 year old together at home. I don't want the 23 year old around him. Help