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30 days - AA is helping

ddakan's picture

All this drama the last 10 years has led me down a dark path of alcoholism. I hope you all find a better way to cope than I did by drinking.

Anyway, I got my 30 day coin today and my life has improved a lot. DH really likes me, my head is clearer and I'm learning how to cope a lot better.

My stupid sd21 drunk texted me all night last night....luckily I didn't hear the phone! She ran out of money Monday and needed me to meet her to give her gas money. The aweful thing, she wouldn't even have lunch with me, she just wanted me to show up and pay. So glad that kid is out of my house. I made her pay me back today. Now I am completely cutting her off.


skylarksms's picture

Congratulations. You have a lot of strength to realize you have a problem and do something to fix it.

If NN would have HALF the fortitude you do, I would be in his life longer.

Be proud of yourself, girl. This is quite an accomplishment.

Step Up's picture

Congratulations on your 30 days. I have walked the same path and have battled alcoholism over the last 5 years. I am thankful to have the clarity that I do today - as I allowed the stress of family and the death of a parent be the excuse to numb the pain with alcohol.

The path to sobriety is not easy. Someone said that in losing a loved one, that no one can tell you how to mourn. I personally think the same goes for battling alcoholism. You need to find what works for you. It can be in the rooms of AA, it can be church, it can be your own sheer determination. As long as you find it.

For me, it's inherent in our DNA to be selfish by nature. It's easy to find excuses for everything and justify our behaviors to suit the mood. It's easy to blame others for all of our woes. Being part of a blended family is an added stress that would drive the strongest to drink, I certain know this.

It's easy to know what the RIGHT thing is to do for ourselves, the hardest part is actually doing it.

It took my DH becoming sick for me to just suck it up and not turn to the bottle for every stress in my life. I knew that people were dependent on me, and that being passed out and incoherent wasn't going to help my family - or myself. By the grace of God I was able to make 1 day into 2, 2 days into 3, and then months, and then a year, etc. I was busy and distracted enough to not focus on when I could get my next fix.

I know that I could throw it all away tomorrow, too. I stay humble. I enjoy seeing the love in my DH's eyes again, proud of me and able to see the good in me, without the cloud of always worrying if I was drinking or hiding it from him.

Long story short - there is hope. Once the excuses fall away, and you find happiness within yourself, you can do great things.

ddakan's picture

My mom said that exact quote to me all my teen years!!! Not so funny when I mention it to her now. Thank you for your post, I love how you talk about me finding "my" way to do it. It really surprises me, but a lot of things added together and got me here. My DH is loving me sweetly too!! What a difference in his attitude!

dragonfly5's picture

Wow! That is great news! Congrats know that we are thinking of you and celebrating the 30 days with you.

distorted reality's picture

Congratulations on a hard earned WIN!!! 30 days is awesome and I just know that you can do this. Keep up the good work! Smile