Then I Wonder Why Stepson Can't Follow Directions Sometimes
I guess there isn't anything I can or should do about this but I can tell you guys!
Stepson's teacher sent a note home that his class was collecting NEW teddy bears to give to sick children. They stressed that they should be NEW because some of the kids have asthma and couldn't have bears that smelled old, moldy or dusty. I read this note and sent it on to biomom. Well, she decides to dig up all of these old stuffed animals (probably from her moldy basement), wash them with detergent I guess, put them in two trash bags and take them to school. These stuffed animals are from one of those prize grabbing machines that they had at the place she worked, at least 7 years ago! Of course she told stepson that they would be fine. I don't think they are fine at all. I think that 1st, she wanted to look like supermom again, bringing in ALL of these stuffed animals and 2nd, clean out her messy basement in the process!!
I keep thinking that someone should tell the teacher that those stuffed animals are not new. If I do it, the teacher will just think it is sour grapes and I just have it in for biomom.
I just wish for once the woman would follow directions!!! I mean it's great if she wanted to help out but now what happens? I just don't know!!
Dawn
- Dawn-Moderator's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Fearless
My husband decided to have stepson tell his teacher about the stuffed animals so it doesn't look like we have it in for biomom. Then at least the teacher will know. If stepson forgets to tell the teacher, then we will e-mail her and tell her.
Yes, I am and have been, looking for some new stuffed animals for him to take. They are collecting them until Christmas time.
Thanks for your comment. It helps to me to know that others see a problem with what biomom did too. Sometimes I start to second guess myself because she keeps doing these kinds of stupid things. I start to think that I am picking on her too much. Then again, why can't she just use her brain!!!
Dawn
Does she have a hard time
Does she have a hard time hearing, understanding, have a brain at all? I guess NOT. What a mental lady! You poor thing you have to hear all the stuff she does.
-happy mom
happy mom
She really has some issues, I think! I just don't know if she doesn't understand or just does this crap because she just doesn't care!
Get this. She is supposed to have just been certified to be a medical assistant!!! Shouldn't she know about asthma and what causes it??? How scary is that??!!
Dawn
A certified medical
A certified medical assistant…WOW…now I will be leery of every CMA I encounter at the doctor’s office b/c from what I can tell about her…she doesn’t have them all!
Make a GREAT Day!
Does she do that for a
Does she do that for a living? If so, why go into that field if you don't care. HELLO!
-happy mom
Does bio-mom have ADD?
Does bio-mom have ADD? Seriously....
Think about it
...she doesn't think things through
...acts impulsively
...lacks direction & focus
...has difficulty following instructions
...remembering pick up times..articles of clothing..instrument care
I sometimes wonder if my X has it? He says & does so many stupid little things...then denys he said/did it..or tries to retract them..or says that's not what he meant. And he's always been kinda figety to boot!!!
Lots of adults have it and have not been diagnosed or treated for it...
Maybe there is a genetic component.....who knows. It would explain alot wouldn't it!
lovin-life
Well, we think she does have ADD. My stepson's therapist has told us that she thinks that biomom has it too. Of course she couldn't diagnose it because she is stepson's therapist. I don't know if biomom realizes or would ever admit that she has it!
We also think that my husband may have it. He has grown out of some of it. He isn't hyper anymore. Of course, he went undiagnosed as well but he admits that he has ADD tendencies. I think he has figured out how to function with help from me so his is not so pronounced.
Only someone who deals/lives with ADD kids and adults can know what it is like to be the only one in the situation with normal brain function!!! I am not trying to be mean but sometimes I just want to scream!!!
Dawn
I hear ya!! Trying to get
I hear ya!! Trying to get son on track for back to school...he still can't get into following a morning routine. Whenever I check up on his progress (I'm getting ready for work myself) he's wandering aimlessly through-out the house. I'll re-focus him....then check back 10 minutes later....and re-focus him again...and again...and again if I have too...
Teacher called again on Monday about him having no lunch..so hubby runs down to the school with it..after all that ruckuss...it comes back home uneaten!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGG!!
I don't want to stand over son every second...he's going into Jr high next year. (He's sooooo smart 90's on his tests for far...so it upsets me that he has to deal with this in his life) I want him to figure out how to work with/around his disability...so he will have an easier time. I may have to go into work late for a week or so ... to help him get his morning routine set. I've been telling him...."don't leave the kitchen until all the kitchen stuff is done.. eat breakfast/pack your lunch" same for bathroom..don't walk out of the room until face/hair/teeth are done... same for bedroom.don't leave until all dressed..socks included.
To someone who doesn't have to deal with ADD.... it seems like a pretty easy routine to establish.. IT's NOT!! It takes alot of extra time & patience......
I have to say, I don't tend to want to scream as much as I used to....when he was undiagnosed. I try to mitigate my frustration by using humour instead...it's a strategy that seems to work for me.
It must be harder for you....because you have bio-mom to deal with as well...and you are a step-mom having to deal with all this. I really think you do a great job!! )
Thank you lovin-life
You really DO UNDERSTAND what I go through!!! I think I might cry!!!
That is exactly how our mornings are if I don't keep him focused!!!
Dawn
From what I've heard from
From what I've heard from lots of moms this seems to be an ongoing issue. The constant...did you brush your teeth? brush your hair? get your socks and shoes on...it goes on and on, as you both know! The only thing that worked for me was writing out a list and taping it to the bathroom door: After you Wake Up:
1. Brush your hair
2. Brush you teeth
3. Get dressed etc, etc, I don't know if that would work for a child with ADD but it has worked for me with my 3 and I never thought I would be able to see them off to school without losing my voice! Sometimes having it there in writing in a prominent place in the house makes this routine more concrete. I went through exactly what you both do only instead of one kid it was three!!!
Tried that
I tried that. He just ignored the list. I would point it out repeatedly but it might as well have been wall paper. It didn't matter. When he is in the bathroom with the door closed, he doesn't focus at all. Sometimes I will tell my husband to go check on him and he will just be standing there staring or sitting on the toilet lid or looking at himself in the mirror.
Dawn
Great!!!!!
He'd forget to read it....
Thanks mamaceta!....Just what I need!!
...One more thing to remind him to do !!!!
Did you read your list?!!
I'm joking....I've thought of the lists.
He gets annoyed at the thought of it.
He will catch on to the routine..he has in other years..it's just slow going so far.......
I know...
lol...I know one more thing to do. Just trying to help
I understand, Dawn..and I feel for the boys too..
I have an underactive thyroid...although treated via hormones..I am often tired, forgetful, not on the ball, etc.....one of my thyroid books refers to it as 'brain fog'..everything is kind of sluggish. I assume that some of these 'brain symptoms' might be similar to what my son goes through with ADD.
SO I always tell him I have to work with my handicap..too. If I don't hang my car keys up in the exact same spot everytime I walk into the house......I'm screwed!!! I'll NEVER remember where I put them.
(I tell them to put their stuff away...I'll threaten them..that if I end up put it away they'll never see it again....cause I don't remember where I put things. It's in their own best interests to do it before I do)
DO you have any idea of how many glasses of milk, juice, water, etc...one kid can spill in 11 yrs???!!!!!!!! I bet you do!
So I'll ask him "Where is DH's glass?" .....on top of his plate..not right beside his elbow! Why does he put it there? ...so he doesn't spill it....
And I say....why do you think adults don't spill as much milk as kids? It's not because their smarter or better than kids...its because they've learned where to put their glass to avoid an 'accident' ..by putting their milk away from their elbows and away from the table edge... Just like I've learned where to put my keys..if I don't want to spend the next 20 minutes looking for them.
I tell him to learn how to make his life easier..less frustrating.
After a millions times....it's sinking in!!!!!!!!!!!!! I try to find away to get him to do right..without constantly sending him the message that he is always wrong/incompetent/substandard. He's no different from anyone else...except that he has to work a little harder!!
I do understand, Dawn!!! That's why I tell you how lucky your SS is to have you...... Everything, you can teach him..(whether he appreciates now or not)....will make such a huge difference in his life...down the road. (He'll definately appreciate it later on!!)
So whenever you feel like screaming!!!! Don't feel guilty..it's tough!! Get your strength to regroup..by knowing how important you are to this child!!!!!
I'm trying to help him help himself
Like he should be old enough to pick out his own clothes for school in the morning but he would keep getting into the drawer where his play clothes are even after I would tell him repeatedly. So, I reorganized his clothes. I put all of the clothes that were ok for school, in his closet. I told him that anything that he picked from the closet he could wear to school. So it is now kind of one stop shopping for him. So far so good!
I'm trying really hard to show him how to help himself but it is a long hard journey!!
Dawn
I do laundry every day.
I do laundry every day. Every day last week son comes downstairs with the same (clean) raggedy t-shirt on.....I mean everyday!! ...like he had nothing else to wear. What about all of his brand new clothes for school??!!!! I have to tell him to change that raggedy shirt..put on one of his cool new ones.
If it doesn't bother him...what he wears...it shouldn't bother me..but it does!!
Just this morning
Just this morning I see my son has on the same shirt (and pants)he just wore to school the day before. He says, it's the only thing that matches that has long sleeves. What??? I went to his closet and picked out a different shirt (with long sleeves). The girls do the same thing, they have a whole closet full of clothes yet seem to wear the same three outfits over and over. Seriously, I'm starting to wonder why we even buy them new school clothes. At least I know it's not just my kids who do this!
I asked the dog when I
I asked the dog when I walked by him this morning....Is this why some animals kill their young?!! The kids just smiled.........
Update on the stuffed animals!!!!
Stepson said that he did tell the teacher that the stuffed animals were old and not new. I'm sure he didn't go into details about how they could be moldy. The teacher told him that she would let the people in charge deal with it. I guess that that is all that can be done. At least the teacher knows that they are not new.
However, stepson informed us last night (Info kind of trickles out of him. He never tells us the whole story all at once!) that biomom has two more garbage bags full of stinky stuffed animals that she wants to take to school!! Why on earth does this woman have sooooo many old crappy stuffed animals? She has a two year old, who she could give some too but I guess they aren't good enough for her kid!!
I feel sorry for the teacher but there isn't anything else I can do. Hopefully stepson can tell his mom that the teacher doesn't need anymore or something.
On a brighter note, we went to the toy store last night and got two new teddy bears. I made sure to leave the tags on and put a gift receipt in the bag with them so there is no question that they are new!!
Dawn