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Court Mediation with BM

danielsj2's picture

So BM agreed to court mediation to review CS after our lawyer requested to go back to court and she can't afford it. When she first got the letter she went all Crazy Town like we anticipated and finally agreed to mediation instead of court.

We arrived and she sat there looking smug for some unknown reason. That is until our lawyer and the mediator gave her proof the calculations were not made up. We have been overpaying her by $500 for the past year. According to the fact we have SD 5 days a week as opposed to the original CO stating only two days a week AND we pay for daycare... she should have been paying us since that technically makes DH the Custodial Parent. I swear her face went white when the lawyer gave her the actual amount we should be paying her a month: $248. Not $900. She looked to her lawyer for back up and he said to her "you told me that you had both kids 5 days a week, that was the basis for fighting this.. if the father has daughter 5 days and the son 3 days you cannot expect to be paid all of that and still expect him to come up with daycare."

As I am thinking to myself "wow you seriously lied to your own lawyer??" she of course starts crying--which provoked an eyeroll on my behalf. She goes on and on saying "I am not making that much at the bar anymore how will I live?" Both lawyers actually said "well if they have the kids for the majority of the week, you are free to pick up extra shifts (since she only works two days a week) or find better employment."

Ah this was a satisfying meeting and I am glad it got resolved without getting too nasty. But there were times we were eating ramen noodles for a few days after paying child support and daycare AND having to buy food, diaper and formula for 5 days a week. Cheers to the weekend my friends!!


Acratopotes's picture

wow more good news - so glad that went so well....

poor poor BM ...... she has to go and work now lol... and your DH pays less or nothing at all

danielsj2's picture

I know right? Like why she doesn't try for an actual job I have no idea.. other than a normal day job doesn't support party vibes all the time. But still, I am so happy that we can stop counting every dollar while she lives like a queen and doesn't work. She told me in the mediation "well you don't get it you make a lot of money" I looked at her like was insane.. yea I also work around 50-50 hours a week... I dont work for free.... SMH

Acratopotes's picture

I would've asked her and what does my income have to do with you or your children? It's not my children thus not my responsibility... you made them you pay for them bitch

danielsj2's picture

Oh I have made that comment before. She said in passing awhile ago that I don't contribute enough financially... of course I have zero filter and said "I have no legal obligation to contribute at all! What I do contribute is because I want to, not because I have to. If you couldn't afford another kid then you should have kept your legs shut, it isn't my problem because you couldn't."

Acratopotes's picture

High 5 - I like tit when people say what they think.... truth always hurts lol..

Salems Lot's picture

My BM claimed things like this too. She even told the skids I had to buy them things they needed and provide for them financially after SO moved in with me.

SO's Lawyer said nope, you can have a million dollars in your bank account and she can't touch it.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

Lying to their lawyer must not be uncommon. Atleast when it happened in our case she lost the lawyer. I find it crazy that they truly think they can get away with it.

If you guys have been taking care of the kids so much then maybe you should push for the order to change if you can. That way she can't go backwards which I think would be harmful to the children. They deserve stability and CS is for them not her to sit on her butt as it feels she is.

Good luck.

danielsj2's picture

Yes the CO is now changed stating we are the CP for SD. BM will still be the CP for SS cause he is in school and she can handle him during the week since he's in school for most of the day.

danielsj2's picture

Yea have been using that as a point a lot... I suppose the judge's logic is in 2 years SD will be school age and they will be both in the primary care of BM. But it does suck for them in the meantime. This was the same situation for my sister and I though... We hardly ever lived in the same house cause she was 9 years older than me.

Pharlap's picture

Haha BM ran out of the room crying when the mediator told her "errrmmmm no this is how it REALLY is" on pretty much every ridiculous thing she was demanding or thought she was entitled to when they went to meditation. It was very satisfying for DH.

danielsj2's picture

Yep she tried to do the whole "Well i just won't work at all and take full custody of the kids and you have to payt me even more to not work"... I just busted out laughing at that.. That's not how this works lady.. thats not how any of this works.

danielsj2's picture

I kinda wanted to say "maybe try asking random people to paypal you money?' If anyone has read that post by me you'll get it.

Maxwell09's picture

BM also lied to her lawyer. I could tell he was scrambling when he was questioning me on the stand. She wasn't honest with him and she lied a few times under oath answering DH's lawyers questions. He didn't wait around for her when it was over either.

Pharlap's picture

Yup, same thing happened to BM's lawyer. He ended up so confused and flustered that he ended up objecting to himself. It was great.