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At least he isn't a drug addict.......

Danearl1's picture

Please help me ladies and gents I need some comments for SO before I end up with a 40year old virgin SS still living under our roof.

It’s my eldest disrespectful, lazy arse SS19.5 situation that I need the help with. In a nutshell this kid lives with SO and I full time, has done nothing for the last year and a half since he finished school other than working a few casual hours at our local convenience store.
All he does is sit on his bony butt and is absorbed in the world of online gaming and that is it. He is extremely immature for his age (this is not only coming from me but SO, BM, MIL & FIL all agree with this), he has no car licence, no full time job, he only just passed his last year of school, no friends to speak of and no social life what so ever.
In January 2014 he applied to get into the Australian Defence Force, the Air force in particular. Unfortunately but certainly not surprising he was rejected and told to go and get some life experience over the next 12 months and then re-apply. His interviewer told him to put himself out there, join a few clubs to show that you are a team player and get your fitness into shape (he is very skinny and does not a ounce of physical activity).
Without boring you all with the nitty gritty details of the last 12 months all SS19.5 has done is join our local SES team. Although I think it was great that he did join it took SO & myself to push and push for him to finally make the phone call and join in June 2014, yes ladies and gents it took him 6 months from his interview date to just make that phone call.
So here we are in 2015 where he is waiting for Defence Force to get back to him with another date to go in for another interview. Myself and MIL both know that he will not get accepted again and he will have no one to blame but himself. All SO is saying about this is that if he doesn’t get accepted again he will be getting a full time job ASAP (I’ll believe it when I see it).
Putting the Defence Force aside this is where I need some wise people to help me with some true and witty comments.
I am so sick of hearing at least his isn’t a drug addict, drinking or on the streets causing trouble and stealing, I much prefer him to playing games in his room instead of the latter. I totally understand where SO is coming from with this comment but it’s still not helping SS19.5 grow and become an independent young man who will at least want to move out of mommy and daddy’s house eventually.
All I say in response to that is yes it is good he isn’t a drug addict etc.. but the world isn’t going to stop and wait for SS19.5 to mature and catch up to the rest of society, time is going by, he has already wasted nearly 2 years since finishing school. Enabling this pattern and behaviour is also like handed him a joint to smoke, neither will do him any good. As for which is worse well that was our next argument.

I know SO is just hoping that SS19.5 will wake up one day and be a mature man who wants to conquer the world in the meantime at least he isn’t doing drugs, drinking or stealing…. arghhhhhhh.

Comments

Danearl1's picture

I hear you Dtzy and totally agree. If it wasn't for me getting SS the job at our local store when he was 15 he wouldn't even be doing that.
SO and I are very hard working so why he lets SS19.5 get away with being lazy is something I dont understand.

furkidsforme's picture

Why should the lazy lump do any of the above? He can loaf around on DADDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYSSSSSS couch and game all day!

This isn't rocket science! Humans will always choose the easiest path, and your DH has handed him one lazy simple life! For as much as DH claims to "love him", he does him no favors. He should want his child to be a confident, successful, happy adult. Not some basement creeper who is afraid of the world and can't take care of himself. FFS. What is wrong with these men?

oneoffour's picture

"DH, I know you are proud of SS not being a drug addict. But he could be an understudy for Norman Bates."
"DH, your son cannot live here forever. I know he is your little boy however one day we will both be gone and what happens to him then?"
"DH, I want to use SSs room for a craft room. When is he moving out?"
" DH, do you think SS is gay? Shall we take him to Sydney for the Mardi Gras?"

And finally.."DH SS needs to get his own life and move out. Because this is about you and me being able to walk around the house naked. I want to walk around naked. I want noisy sex. I want to role play. But as long as SS is here I feel stifled. I cannot be your French Maid with your son shooting up aliens down the hall."

Danearl1's picture

I had to laugh at the role play, french maid thing. Although SS lives with us Full time he still goes to see BM once a fortnight (only because I make him, and bribe SO with good exciting sex }:) ) So this is already working to my advantage otherwise he would litterally be in my face 24/7.

TheAccidentalSM's picture

Here's what my mom did to get my sister out after college. (God knows I should be doing this with YSS19). She stopped buying food. She gave away the TV. She switched off the heating every time she left the house. In short my mom made the house a really unpleasant place to live. All of the creature comforts were gone.

My sister launched because she couldn't bear living in those conditions.

TheAccidentalSM's picture

WOW That is tough.

My mom only needed to push one of us (3 kids)out of the house.

I left as fast as I could. I was dying to get out into the big bad world. My youngest sister lived with Mom for a couple of years post college but she worked full time and paid rent. Mom was cool with her being there as youngest was saving like crazy for a deposit to buy a place of her own and contributed to the household while she was there.

The other sister was a different story and drove Mom insane. Hence the harsh tactics to get her to go.

TheAccidentalSM's picture

An escape to the big city. I'd have been glad too.

I lived in a fair sized city but escaped as quickly as possible to the biggest on I could find.

SecondGeneration's picture

I wonder how my dad and step mum feel about how we all turned out. Theres 4 of us; all of us grew up together. All of us held to high expectations, all of us in part time work as soon as we were legal (14) all of us responsible for our own extra curriculum costs. Yet only two of us, the eldest and me, moved out at 18 with full time jobs and stayed gone. The other two; one is baby busy and living off state and the other is back home (at over 30).

Reality is if life is comfortable then hes not going to have a desire to move, heck if hes not paying rent then hes making a wise financial decision to stay put. But if hes a gamer then you have the ultimate weapon, the beloved wifi. Turn it off at particular hours. Drives a gamer mad.

So what do you do? Simple if you and DH are both out in the world of work, unplug the modem and take it with you. So he isnt wasting the day away whilst you are earning the money.

Danearl1's picture

I have unpluged and taken the modem with me many times. SS has enough shit downloaded on his computer to keep him amused. The longest he didn't have the a modem (due to us renovating) was 3mths he still found games to play offline.

Danearl1's picture

"Hey, at least I'm not out prostituting myself or shooting heroine!!" - Now this I love. I can already see the look on SO face :jawdrop: lmao