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'Tis the season for Double Standards... fa la la la la la la la la

DaizyDuke's picture

I do all my Black Friday shopping on line. Can't deal with people. So I hunker down Thursday night at the laptop to start shopping. I had lists, I checked them twice, compared prices, shipping etc. I'm pretty OCD like that. So I mention to DH that BS7 said he wanted an Instant Camera for Christmas. DH immediately says, "that's stupid, do you know how much the film for those things costs? Something like that has no value, it's just junk that will wind up broken or in a heap" I told him to chill out, that BS is SEVEN and he doesn't care about things having "value" (well he does, to an extent, he does collect coins and baseball cards) and it's freaking Christmas, let the kid be a kid. And I might add, it's not like we hurt for money. A 60 dollar instant camera is not going to affect us paying the utility bill.

But what really chaps my hind end is the fact that in the 10 years that I have been with DH, he has had NO problem dropping hundreds of dollars every Christmas and Birthday on JUNK for skids. Let me see if I can conjur up the different shit over the years...

1. Countless video game systems (WII, Nintendo, X Box etc) that went to BM's and were NEVER seen again.
2. Season passes to ski resort plus all the "fixings" (ski coats, snow boards goggles etc) and skids went ONCE! One ##cking time!
3. Brand new cell phones, that again, went to BM's and were never seen again, or were broken or lost within 30 days.
4. As they got older the ever popular "wad of cash" so they could blow it on drugs or clothes or sneakers or who knows what?? Because they NEVER had anything to show for it.
5. Keith Urban guitar so SD could teach herself how to play the guitar. She tried once and the stupid thing sat in the closet and she left it when she moved to Aunt J's.

I'm sure I'm forgetting a whole bunch of shit, but you all get the idea here. BS7 is an awesome kid. He really is. He does well in school, just received his 9th belt in taekwando (been doing it for almost 3 years now), has received numerous awards for respect, responsibility, student of the year etc., plays soccer, plays baseball, is respectful, and kind. Sure he can be a brat from time to time... what kid can't? But 90% of the time, this kid is the bomb! I mean the kid sat on Santa's lap this weekend and told Santa he wants a Nutcracker for Christmas lmao. And DH wants to crab about a f##king $60.00 Christmas gift? When he literally dropped hundreds on skids EVERY Christmas.. in addition to what they were getting from BMs. Whatever.

As I'm sure you can guess, I ordered BS7 his camera, his Nutcracker, and a Fit Bit, and a Google Home, and a whole bunch of other stuff that I know he will love. I.don't.give.A.F. whether DH likes it or not. And if he crabs about it again, I am going to for the throat. I seriously can't stand this double standard crap.


strugglingSM's picture

You just listed all the reasons why I hate buying SSs gifts or even random things when we're out shopping. There are things they simply MUST have that get touched once. I'm a childfree stepmom, so don't get into arguments about buying kids things for Christmas, but DH has bought them an XBox, which they now rarely use because it's not the newest one. Electric scooters, which we're used maybe three times and for which one charger was lost. Now they get ski lessons, even though last year one of them missed one lesson because BM scheduled something that weekend (even though it was DH's weekend). We now have to make the kid feel better that he missed that ski lessons (which cost us $129) every time his brother reminds him that he missed it.

I try to push DH to give them "experiences" rather than things because watching things collect dust - especially things that were things they - really makes me angry.

FrenchPeas's picture

I’ll never forget the year that xoss informed me that i could buy him snowboarding equipment for Christmas since his dear mommy was taking them to New Mexico. I laughed in his face and said uh no. That was the year they decided to have dadddeeeee sue mommy for custody. Guess who didn’t take the little turds anywhere? She wouldn’t even put up a tree due to their “ungrateful” attitudes. Lmao. It was sweet justice. I loved it. Especially after my tree was mocked for not being as big as mommyyyy’s tree. It was awesome

secret's picture

I'm spending about 200$ on each of my kids - 100$ in cash, and 100$ in silly little things they've been eyeing or mentioned, or that I think they need.

I'm getting ss cheap things... I've already told DH I'm not spending mega bucks on him, because he doesn't play with his toys, why would I buy any? I'll be getting ss coloring books, crayons, craft stuff....and clothes. DH is on board with that.

But he can spend whatever he likes... not my problem.... not my money. We don't share. He gives me a set amount each week off his pay, and that's what I use to do the grocery shopping etc.

thinkthrice's picture

I know, right? The only standard in Step HELL is the DOUBLE standard, sadly.

I cant begin to tell you the countless big bucks Chef (read:Thinkthrice) spent trying to buy the skids love.

Most of which ended up:
1. not being touched
2. being taken to the Gir's house never to be seen again.
3. outright rejected (found a fancy artist easle we bought SD in the burn pile)

zerostepdrama's picture

DH once bought YSD all this stuff for softball. Shoes, practice gear, bag, equipment. She had NEVER even played. She was just going to "try out". Of course she didn't make it. He probably spent $300.

Not too long ago he had the audacity to say something about how much I spend for BS's sport. I'm like the one that he has participated in for the past 5 years? The one that he works his butt off for? The one that keeps him busy and active and out of trouble?

I swear these men are idiots sometimes.

DaizyDuke's picture

HAHA! Yep, DH bought SD everything she needed to play Lacrosse one year, and she went to 2 practices and quit. Then he paid for her to do gymnastics, same thing, went a couple times and quit. then he bought her a volleyball net for the yard so she could practice... never was even put up once and we ended up chucking it into the dumpster that we got when we hoed out this summer. He paid for them to do karate, which shockingly they stuck with for about a year, but then couldn't be bothered. All while they were missing school and or doing crappy in school.. but hey let's reward shitty behavior!!!

I think it's like you said the other day, DH feels like if he's spending money on skids, he's doing something and the skids/BM take full advantage.

thinkthrice's picture

Chef bought YSS at the time stb 7 boatloads of expensive baseball stuff. YSS abandoned it out in the rain (leather mitt etc). Never touched it again. Skids are the "eat oreos by the sleeves and sit in front of screens all day" type

bearcub25's picture

YSS has a bday Dec 12th. He sent a pic to DSO and said he wanted this Xbox system for 189.00. We don't spend that on bdays anyway.

YSS was in juvie and group homes for 3 Christmases. When he got out, DSO bought him an Xbox system and the 2 games he wanted. 1 game he scratched before he even loaded it on the Xbox. He had the Xbox trashed in 3 months. Which DSO did bring up to him.

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

Spent 120 bucks on a fancy karaoke system for SD a couple of years back. She loves to sing. Damn thing has been sitting in her room for years, has never been used, even once. Then there was the 200 bucks that I spent on SS's airsoft gear that he asked for.. Never took the tags off and sold it on eBay for gas money. That was a real kick to the knackers since I had spent weeks researching airsoft and good gear. I can't do it anymore. Holiday gifts are from my heart and I'm tired of it being pi$$ed on.

Get your kid the camera. Maybe he doesn't use it forever but he will remember getting something he wanted a lot.

Acratopotes's picture

hahaha why not ramble the list down to DH, say remember that guitar SD looked at for 5minutes, how much did that cost?
Remember that game that they took to BM and lost it... how much did that cost..

oh hell yes I would've rambled a list and make him run... then order the goods for BS, and I probably would've said, how the hell can you spoil 2 children like this and your third child you treat like crap?

futurobrillante99's picture

I'm spending about $300 for each of my kids. My older son wanted a robe, slippers, new sheets and a set of hand weights. When DD24 gets back from her travels in January, we're going for a fancy spa day. My DS21 asked for an area rug for the room at his dad's house and some movies.

Skids will get about $50 each in the form of gift cards. Done!!

I know DH is getting one kid a coat and cookware. Another kid is getting a guitar. Next kid (the one that moved to CA) is getting cash. SS18 will be getting a ticket to visit his brother in CA in February to go skiing.

Thankfully, DH is keeping his spending in the $200 range for each skid. I'm sure he'll go over that with a couple gifts for each under the tree, but I doubt he'll go over $300.