What is his angle?
My youngest BS is 21. He has high functioning autism. His dad and I divorced when he was 4 years old. His dad paid child support for a couple of years. We agreed oto 50/50 no child support a few years after the divorce.
My son was held back one year in school. When he was in the eleventh grade, BD started pushing him to come live with me full time. I saw the text messages that he sent to my son and he was strongly pushing him to live with me. He moved in with me and finished school. He was 18 years old at the time so there was no child support. He went to a vocational school right out of high school. He learned how to budget his money and experienced some on the job training.
He was away from home for almost 2 years at vocational school. I paid for his food and supplies while he attended, I drove two hours at least once a month or so to see him. His father never sent him money or come to see him. He would call him from time to time.
He would come home for a couple of months at a time and then go back to vocational school. He even got his drivers license while he was there. BD rarely saw him during the time he was home. Since living with me, his BD hasn't really seen him that much. An occassional holiday or fishing trip, but never anything longer than a day or two. Of course, he was 18 years old and didn't need regular visits with BD. I didn't get involved with their visits, I let the two of them work it out.
My BS now has a job. He has been working for almost a month now. His BD has been asking him to come see him EVERY weekend since he has this job. He tells him that he needs him to help clean up his garage and clean up his boat. He always has some type of chore for him to do. I don't mind my child helping his father at all. BS doesn't seemed to mind either. BS has been working almost 50 hours a week since he got this job. It is a BIG change for him because he has only had to deal with school 6 hours a day. I reminded BS that he did need to rest some during his time off and just to let BD know that he is working close to 50 hours a week so that he would understand if BS is too tired.
BS told me that BD wants to help him manage his money now that he is working. BS pays me for his health insurance, car insurance, cell phone and his groceries (his lunch for work and any junk food/drinks). He saves the rest. He doesn't want to spend a dime. he is saving up for a car. I do plan to give BS money back to help with his car, he just doesn't know that yet. BS said that BD wanted to see how much he had in his account. BS didn't show his account informtion because he couldn't get the banking app to work on his phone.
BS has stated that BD wants him to come live with him now. He lives about 30 miles away. DS works less than 5 miles from my house. BS doesn't want to live with him so no worries on that. It is just too far to drive for work.
I am not sure what BD is doing or what he is planning but I am seeing red flags. Does anyone else see those too? I have been dealing with a crazy BM for years but didn't think I had to worry about BD.