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Update on the Court DH missed

Daisymazy2's picture

DH received a summons to go for a Child in need of services for SD, age 17.  DH didn't go.  Two days later, he gets another summons to go again, the court date had been rescheduled to Friday of last week.  DH didn't go again. 

I am wondering if the court date was rescheduled because SD didn't show up either.  She was staying with her older sister.  DH hasn't talked to her in a couple of weeks.  She is mad at DH AGAIN.  She told DH that he sided with BM and that she didn't want to talk to him anymore.  I know, DH isn't going to court because he doesn't want to upset SD. If he doesn't side with BM the judge may ask him to take SD and he can't do that either. The judge will ask him why he can't take her and his excuse to SD is always that we do not have the room and not because it is her bad behavior.   He just refuses to go and thinks all of this will just blow away.  

Friday night, I had a dream that he was arrested for contempt of court.  I guess it is possible that he could be but he would rather face jail time than just go and tell the truth.  SD is OUT of control and neither parent can control her when she goes into her downward spiral.  

He is so worried that SD will never speak to him again. 

I am almost certain that BM is only going to court now because she knows child support will end soon and she is trying to "DUMP" SD on us.  I have already told DH that she IS NOT living here.  If something happens that she has to live with him, he can move out and rent an apartment for both of them.  

Comments

ESMOD's picture

They may have rescheduled because he did not show up.  I might be concerned that the court would come down on him for some sort of abandonment of parental duty charge... not sure exactly.. but generally just putting your head in the sand is not the smartest tactic to employ with the court system.

Daisymazy2's picture

It isn't the smartest thing to do with the court system or BM.   I am sure he may find out soon enough.

I told DH he should go but he decided he wasn't going.  

ITB2012's picture

I'm sure she will contact him again no matter what he does or does not say. Even if he gives an excuse and she buys it now, she may still reem him for abandonment later. So why not just go do the right thing (here it sounds the right thing is for him to go to court and tell the truth)?

Daisymazy2's picture

The judge may let the contempt of court slide but I don't think BM is done with the court just yet.  She is going to show her colors over the next few months.  

To me, it is easier to go to court explain to the judge what is happening, what has happened and what isn't going to happen (her moving here) and why it can't happen (THE TRUTH).  It may hurt SD's feelings but she needs some type of direction.

Thumper's picture

When you receive a summons to appear. You should show up. OR the other side can win by default OR if the Judge could find you in contempt.

There is nothing wrong with reporting to the court that DH is not willing, unable or what ever verbiage you want to insert,,,that he has, after much reflection and consideration TO NOT take in sd.

He was given a free pass since court was rescheduled. He should  talk to a lawyer about this.

Keep us posted ok?

 

 

justmakingthebest's picture

I agree with the others on him needing to show up. A summons is not a "please show up if it isn't too much of a bother"- it is an order from the courts. 

I would draw a line in the sand with my DH on this. He goes or I do- and by go, I mean out the door. I would not deal with a husband with a bench warrant or custody of a delinquent kid by default because my husband is a dumbass. 

thinkthrice's picture

UNLESS you happen to be the Girhippo who simply called the morning of the hearing and stated that going to court gives her too much anxiety so she's not going to show up!

Aggressive

advice.only2's picture

I would be angry with my DH as well, you can only bury your head in the sand for so long before something will blow you up from above.

notarelative's picture

Ignoring a court summons is always a bad idea. Here, judge sends the sheriff to escort you to court. A summons is not an invitation you can accept or decline. It is an order requiring you to appear in court. 

Your dream may be coming true.