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update!!!

daisy0202's picture

Well the weekend was wonderful. Espicially without SD16. Not sure if I might like this more than i thought.

DH and i went out Friday. It was his surprise birthday and he had no clue. We walked into the house and everyone yelled...He was speechless and sorta sad he told me. He was sad becuase he knew i went through alot to plan this for him and he has been a fool. We had a great time. I told DH lets not think of that lets just have a blast tonight. So we did. He stayed over that night without SD which was amazing. I forget alot how much I miss him. Shes always around so its so hard!

Sat morning he left and I went to a friends for breakfast and hang for the day. Sat around 3 DH called me and wanted to go for dinner. Now I did not have BS14 he was with his father for the weekend. DH of course had SD so he asked if it was ok if she came. I said i am sorry no it isnt. i do not have BS and things right now are calm. I just can't. He didnt flip out which i thought he would so he said well i have SD so i guess I'll call you later. OK I said and I hung up. I called another girlfriend of mine and stopped by her house for drinks. Her DH is friends with mine. So DH calls me again at 5, whatcha doin? I said at so and so's. Oh he said that sounds like fun. It is. Now they live about 3 houses down the street so i walked this way if I have to many drinks i am good. Well we ordered in and were already drinking. DH was like I might stop by. I said OK, and we hung up. Now keep in mind this was at 5. 5:20 her doorbell rings and low and behold its DH. He gives me a big kiss and the night goes on. We had a great time. SD16 called him 7 times, he left the room to talk and the 8th time his phone rang he looked at it and shut it off looked at me and winked. I smiled. He ended up staying over again sat to sunday. Sunday we woke went out for breakfast. SD couldnt call because DH never put his phone back on so when my cell rang at breakfast I looked and it was SD I gave the phone to DH and said your call its SD. He pressed the ignore button and our breakfast continued...IT WAS GREAT!!!! But I still have wall up now....

So we get back to house and i am thinking he will be leaving. He says I'm going to work in the garage for a bit and mow the lawn. I was like ahhhh OK. He stayed sunday till 4. He didnt want to leave. I screened all calls and SD16 called the house 12 times. To bad there was no answer. i did tell DH SD has been calling non-stop. His responce....She is with my mother, my sister is there like always, she is fine. Ill see her when I get back. We did talk alot on the deck which was amazing without SD comming out. It was the best weekend we have had since we have had SD full time. Even he admitted this was great. Yesterday was our first therapy session and it went great. Our goal is to continue this "dating" for awhile and see where it takes us. He is to not let his daughter get involved in our relationship. Not answering her 50 calls is step one. She did get her licsense so he is hoping for a miracle of her becomming a normal teen. I can only hope but we can not depend on that. he needs to set boundries and stick to them. I am keeping my fingers crossed. I will not see him tonight but Wed will be our date night and he will be staying over every wed until the end of the month. At the end of the month we will see how things are going and take it from there or continue this. Time will tell. We are going away the weekend of the 25th and have decided to extend it to a long weekend. I am not going to get excited. I need more time to make sure he gets it. We love eachother so there is still hope! Sat we have a date to. I am liking the dates....Its like it was in the beginging. NICE!!!!!! Wink

Comments

ThatGirl's picture

Seeing that he asked to bring SD to dinner out with you says a lot. He still has a long way to go, but I think he's making progress. I'm going to keep my fingers crossed for the both of you Smile

overworkedmom's picture

It really looks like he is taking everything very seriously!!! Yay!! I am so happy that he is making the effort to chose you. Every woman needs that! I hope that this is showing SD that she is not in control and that the earth doesn't revolve around her. Good luck! I am happy for you!!

smdh's picture

I think its progress, but was a little put off that he took SEVEN calls before he turned his phone off. He was visiting friends (and you) and it is RUDE to continuously answer your phone even if you leave the room. Sounds like he did finally get the clue that she wasn't going to give it a rest and held firm the remainder of the weekend, though.

ctnmom's picture

Daisy- why on earth does she call so much? That is too wierd. Her father should nip that in the bud. It's creepy. Best of luck- it's obvious you two adore each other! and he seems motivated. Blum 3

daisy0202's picture

ctnmom I have no clue...Its like she needs to be attached to his ass...Its just not normal at all!!!

forestfairy's picture

My biggest concern is that yes, things are great when she's not there, however, that's easy...him just ignoring her is not really learning to deal with her. It's good for you guys to reconnect first though I guess, but if you decide to work it out, she will be there...all the time. It will be interesting to see how he does with dealing with her when she is right there, when he can't just ignore her, he'll actually need to put her in her place. He'll need to be clear about expectations around her behavior and what is acceptable or not. He'll have to shut her down to her face. I would definitely make sure you all spend time together as a family to see how he's going to deal with that before you let them move back in.

daisy0202's picture

Forestfairy...I soo hear that....But right now i can not deal with her at all...I refuse to....I know we need to interact eventually before we decide next step. But right now, I need us time...Then we will take baby steps...This does suck though. I do miss him.

3familiesIn1's picture

Daisy - this is a great start. I am sure there may be a few setbacks for your DH but its moving in the right direction. Since mini-wife will have been pissed when DH returned for ignoring her, I am sure he is facing fall out - which is a good thing. He will see SD for what she really is and the problem that has been created.

Its going to take some time to retrain SD into her proper princess role vs queen bee. Don't rush things - you are getting your life back, enjoy every moment and don't panic if there is a small setback.

You are on the path Daisy !!!!!!

Hanny's picture

I hope the kid gets a life. My situation turned around somewhat when the SK started driving, and now that she has a car, totally different. She comes over and spends weekends, but comes and goes with her friends, and our weekend is not longer spent catering to what she is doing. And maybe if your DH withdraws from her every wish, she will reach out to friends and get a life.

Good luck!

Delilah's picture

Good to hear you are feeling more peaceful and happier. Its awful when you are so wound up.

Do your friends and family know the situation? Just asking cos sometimes they can be a positive influence on bio daddies with blinkers glued on.

stepmomto3bioto1's picture

Im so happy to hear of your progress!! Its baby steps on the works. I really love the dating each other thing. Its like allowing yourselves to fall in love all over again!! Kuddos to you & DH!!! I really think you guys are on the right path!!!

invidia's picture

Love this - it sounds like progress and it must have been driving SD crazy }:)

Good luck Smile