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daisy0202's picture

Is it terrible that I still hate my SD16?

Yes things are getting better, yes DH is finally stepping up and being a dad, yes SD is finally going out and being somewhat normal, with some corks....But there is still a piece of me that cant stand her!!! I feel so much has happened, my DH and I cant even live together right now because of her issues, and it just pisses me off...Yes what we are doing is working and yes its getting better and I do see a light at the end of the tunnel but I still cant stand this kid...Am I a terible person for feeling this way?

Comments

New second wife-step-mom's picture

To me hate is a very strong word.

I hate the things my SS17 does, I hate the clothes he wears, I hate the way he rolls his eyes at me when I speak, I even hate the fact he has caused trouble between DH and I but I don't hate HIM.

Frustr8d1's picture

No, you're far from terrible! I can't stand SD9's mannerisms and I don't think I ever will!

It's annoying as hell and I hate this situation!

daisy0202's picture

I agree I hate this situation to...I hate even seeing her now...Its horrible I know but I can not stand her...Im nice to her, always was and always will be, its his child...but deep down...I just want her out of my life!!!

karenemoy's picture

I totally hate by SS 22 and all the terrible things he has done. He sent this dumb note yesterday to my husband. I guess he mad we will no longer support his drug habits. He has not changed - ungrateful, entitled POS.

Yep I hate him and glad he hates my DH now because we do not have to deal with his crap.

Freshstart's picture

Hi I really get it. I have an SD16 and things have improved here too. Did yours not go out? Mine only wanted to hang with her Daddy. We have had such a job to get her more focused on her own more normal social life. It is hard not to have resentful feelings left. Go for the disengagement while you calm down. It works. Also in my case I chose to focus on the parent deliberately. In my mind SD16 is only partially responsible for her behaviour and not at all responsible for her upbringing. Does that make sense? Try to think of it that way. He has to parent properly. That was my conclusion and caused stormy times but if he wants 50% custody then he has to learn how to parent and stop being permissive guilty daddy. I got mine to practice being a dad.

ThatGirl's picture

I can't stand 3/4 of my skids. Funny thing is, I can honestly say it's not just what I've seen while living with them. I didn't like them even before becoming involved with their father.

Ghost Rider's picture

You are not terrible. You just know you will never have a connection with this kid.

Step kids already have a mother and father and unfotuntely a step parent has the raw end of the stick of things.

I can't really stand any of my step kids.

I came into my husband life where two of his boys were grown.
One did not like me! I was not going to break my back to get him to like me.
The other was nicer but had issues with himself. He has moved to a complete different state and back around his mother again. He was rather nice to me and said he was glad that I was in his dads life. He has not seen his dad smile and act like a kid for a long time and when I came around him I lit him up as a different softer person.

I can't stand neither one of my step daughters really. They are sweet and all but one sent this realtionship through hell and I know it was all her mothers doings but still a kid has a bond to their parents only!!!!

The other step daughter could not stand her mother for a while and wanted to live with us and even told her mother she wanted to live with us and her mother flipped, kept us in courts for years over stupid crap and told her daughter she will never ever live with us. Since child support is kept up now and the BM works at a job that pays her well she does nothing but buy her daughters off.
If one wants to eat at a high price food joint they go to a high price food joint to eat for dinner, if the other demands her to get in her car and take them to town, she does so. The BM is not a mother but more of a buddy friend

I heard nothing but about their BM over the summer from the one that disliked her for a while. I guess when you get your love purchased things change , mom does this with me , does that, we go here and there , I could have puked over the summer. The last thing I want to hear about is the BM.

The only thing that gross me about the BM is how she is trying to have a friendship with her kids then being a mother. The daughters have their own cell phones but the last thing I would do as a mother is have a buddy TXT conversation with my kid while they are in school during their class. ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!!!!!

Hanny's picture

Because she is the reason you are not together with your husband...is enough just there to 'hate' her.