You are here

Winter Storm, yay!

Crystalmuffin's picture

Update to previous blog posts. Someone here suggested that I utilize a sticker chart for SD5. I immediately spoke with DH a about it and we have a simple system in-place. It seems like it's helping a lot with teaching her basic responsibilities around the house and hygiene, etc. (It's helping with the whining, too.) She has been here since Friday because of the snow storm. Which has allowed a few things to become glaringly clear.

SD definitely has issues with her working/short term memory. She literally will not remember after being told something just a minute ago. She forgets rules even consistent ones. I was getting irritated, but now I realize that it likely is ADHD. Her father has ADHD and so does her Grandmother. I also have figured out that her panic/anxiety attacks are not an attention grab. She legitimately had issues with navigating her feelings and gets worked into a frenzy when she is upset.

I get this. I understand. She hasn't been to a doctor to diagnose her ADHD, so I can't say for sure that's what it is-- but it would explain a lot of her behavior. As much as I understand it, it's not very easy for me to deal with. I have to remind her over and over again if very simple things.

I'm irritated because I knew this would happen as far as the snow storm, I tried to tell DH you know, she's going to end up being here all week because of the snow. Then he acted surprised when it happened. Hello! I told you, lol. I've accepted it but I hate how I feel like I'm tip-toeing around and cringing at her mannerisms and behavior and all. I'm trying man. She constantly acts like a dog and barks, it's like her favorite thing right now. And it's like she does not understand any of the very simple directions I have. Our senior dog snapped at her because she wouldn't stop bothering him.

Meh. I want to be more loving, but I'm really just trying not to be irritable seeing as it feels just about impossible to get through her head. DH a has told her like 20 times today not to run in the house. It just gets exhausting. I'm trying to use natural consequences and keep my humor about it all, and be nice and understanding and patient. I don't expect her to be perfect but I'm also not used to this, so it's more of a personal battle for me to be understanding than it is trying to get her to behave, if that makes sense.

BM was going to come pick her up today but we are having rolling blackouts and straight up loss of power all over the state, her mom doesn't even have power right now, so she can't go back home. I'm on her side as far as taking care of her and what's best for her. I think I still just feel bad for being so irritated by her behavior. Sad Any discussion/tips would be nice.

Comments

JRI's picture

I know it doesn't feel that way but look what you've done.  You've realized that many of SD's issues are likely caused by ADHD.  That's huge!  You've also realized that her panic/anxiety attacks are not attention-grabbing tactics. I think you are showing a heroic amount of empathy and insight!

I am not a professional but there are some on this site and they will give you good input.  But I wanted to say I'm proud of knowing you, if only online.  Good luck!

Survivingstephell's picture

She needs more activity that burns all that energy up. Wear that girl out!  There are emotion flash cards available that might be a good game to play with her so she can learn the words to express herself.  Teach her to give herself a time out to calm down and think.  These are all things that little kids need to be taught , some more than others but still need to be taught.  Don't be shy about taking a few moments to calm yourself down too. Seeing you manage your frustrations in a healthy way will show her how it's done.   It's not fair to have this dumped on you but I think there are a few things you can do to make things better for yourself.  Dad stepping up is paramount though.  
Not sure if you have much snow but a good old fashioned snowball fight might help things. Get the at tension out. 

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Please protect your senior dog. The last thing you need is for the dog to bite the kid and then to have that turn into an issue with B/M. If you have to, kennel the dog or lock her in a room away from SD.

Harry's picture

Give her a time out when she runs in the house. Like 5 minutes.  Has to sit in a certain chair for 5 minutes.