Update on Vaca
Vacation went well. I had a really good time. Kid crap came up a couple of times SD decided our vacation was a good time to bring up a nose ring again which SO asked me what to say. I told him I am going thru that with you . She is your daughter. He of course wanted An answer from me as always so kept at me. I said it is not my decision to be made please stop asking. He then tried to make a compromise with her about waiting until after Christmas when she is 17 and she wasn't going for it. SS called and said that he missed a school assignment and BM was all over him about it ( I definitely think she should be) and I guess told him she was against him playing basketball because he needs to get his priorities straight. I was in the other room getting ready and could hear some of it. It was a short conversation because SS was almost in tears. Oh poor baby. But then I was drying my hair and could see thru the door and SO was texting BM and everytime I shut the dryer off he would put the phone down . I off course looked at the the text because that is what I do. He was asking BM about the missed assignment and sting SS was crying. She said she doesn't want him playing basketball because it is all too much. SO agreed SS Ned to get all work done but he can play basketball as long as it doesn't interfere with his baseball practices that will be starting. Really SO , this is the perfect time for SS to be told NO you can't do all the sports . Plus he snuck and texted BM . It was about the SS but still. I don't like when I see these things going on because it makes me feel he lies to me.
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Comments
Oh boy, I can feel your
Oh boy, I can feel your exasperation. The ONE time BM did something in the right direction and he goes and blows it! Will he NEVER learn?
He worries that if SS doesn't
He worries that if SS doesn't play a sport year round he will do nothing and become lazy like SD is. Her job is now done for the summer because the pools close after Labor Day. Yes it was a job but all she did was sit all day . SD stayed at our house while we were away to take care of HER dog and feed the cats. She had left the sink piled full with dishes. She only had take out food that her grandfather brought to her but used tons of dishes. SO thinks she doesn't even know how to wash a dish or load a dishwasher. One of our plants had been knocked over and she didn't bother cleaning it up and she didn't bring In The mail the entire time.
Jesus, all this happened on a
Jesus, all this happened on a vacation?
Yes but at least it really
Yes but at least it really didn't interfere with our time together since it happened while I was getting ready. The nose ring text did come at lunch time but it was pretty quick. When he started nagging me about answering I got up and said he can figure it out while I use the restroom.
You can always say too... Let
You can always say too... Let's table responding to this or discussing it until we return from vacation.. Everyone needs a break.. These things such as nose rings and sports can wait until after a vacation.
A text response isn't even needed while on vacation. Or he could say... I'll discuss when I return. And if they reply to that... Ignore
"Can't discuss now, on
"Can't discuss now, on vacation thx."
Well..... He Begs you for
Well..... He Begs you for your input. Perfect time to give it!! Tell him how you feel. If he gets mad... Insist you did so because he keeps asking you for your opinion. Say you will tell him how you feel not want he wants to hear /you to say.
When I tell him my opinion it
When I tell him my opinion it just causes an agrument so I have tried to stop doing it. It doesn't matter how I feel about the situation with the kids. He handles like he is always going to lose them not like a parent should.
Biting your tongue abdicates control to him and he gets to just
keep doing what he is doing.
Do not let him off the hook.
Keep your opinion on his parenting failures and undesireable children's behavior front and center.
If not, you are the one to suffer for it while they keep doing what they are doing.
IMHO of course.
If I say things it always
If I say things it always leads to an argument. So I don't know what is worse. Letting him "not" parent or having arguments about it. I know I don't have kids but if I would have they would not have been raised the way his have been. He even admits they aren't going to be fit to be significant others to anyone. How can you let your kids grow up knowing that is what you have created.
Tell him you feel he should
Tell him you feel he should text her back and say to her that he agrees about basketball not being a good choice. That he's on the same page as her. His school is priority
I know that SO doesn't want
I know that SO doesn't want there to be so many games etc because it interferes with our life together. But I do think he likes his son playing something during all seasons because that is all they talk about. They literally do not talk about anything else. Just yesterday we saw SS and I was asking if he was going to homecoming , if he was asking a girl , blah , blah, blah and SO started to talk about sports. I know sports is most important to SO when it comes to SS.
BM text SO about picking SS
BM text SO about picking SS up from the football game . SO text back SS has to ask me not you.