We never had a curfew but then again, we never needed one. We live in a low-risk village so there wasn't much to do once things got dark and going to friends' homes depended on when the friends' parents wanted them gone. When they went into the city, they were dependent on us or their friends' parents for transport to and from the station and the trains and buses didn't run late - I think the last one was before 10 pm.
^ same. Doesn't go anywhere. As for a bedtime (time to go to your room on school nights) SS15 would lurk around the house waiting for DH so we go to our bedroom for adult time (not just intimacy- but to have a moment alone without him waiting for DH). We're in our room before he's asleep.
My daughter is 16 but we haven't really set a curfew. We just tell her to be home by a certain time depending on what she's doing. Most of the time when she's gone lately it's because she's working and she comes straight home afterwards. My son is only 12 so it hasn't come up yet.
We don't give blanket curfews. It depends on the circumstance. Same happened when I was a teen, and once I had a job and proved I was responsible, my parents basically just said "don't wake us up when you get home and tell us if you stay somewhere else."
But all of that is beside the point. Why are you asking? You know you and your STBXSO aren't on the same page when it comes to how he parents. You know you don't agree with BM's parenting either. It really doesn't matter what the rest of us think is normal/okay because, I'm assuming, this is another area where you don't agree with your STBXSO.
This is a perfect thing to disengage from. Not your kid, not your problem.
I am absolutely not bringing it up with him. The only time something was brought up is when we needed to agree to a time he has to be home on my work nights so I wouldn't be woken up.It was just for common courtesy.It was just something I was wondering because I don't think being at a party with males and females without asking if a parent is even home until 1 am is okay. Yes another parent brought him home so I guess all 14 year old eighth graders are doing this. Guess I am old fashioned. Oh well.
When I was a teen, my house was often the one where parties were hosted (not weekly parties, but the post- dance party, the Homecoming or graduation party, that kind of thing). My mother commented often on how few of the parents called to ask whether she and my dad would be present. At the time I didn't understand why parents would call about that and thought it was weird, and I was always embarrassed when my mom called other parents at whose homes parties were held. Now I get it. But I think you'd be surprised at how few parents actually check out these things.
No, that is not right, to have an 8th grader at a coed party, unchaperoned until 1am. I would want parents to be there at that age and come home earlier than 11...as usual your parental instincts are spot on and he's out to lunch. Not surprising though! The key here is trust your own intuition and instincts. I know you're planning on leaving. But I guess I'm just saying whenever you've come on here I always think that your instincts are totally logical but he just doesn't parent that effectively.
It depended on the event, but around 14 - 11pm by 16- midnight. These coincided with the town curfew. I did let DS slide on date nights with the midnight curfew - to 12:30 or so as he had to drive his date home. Although the rule was if he got a ticket for driving after curfew, it was his responsibility.
Same here. Around midnight. And my mom would probably be waiting up, bwahaha!! I'm not quite there yet with my teens but I imagine I'll be that mom waiting up like my mom.
Comments
We never had a curfew but
We never had a curfew but then again, we never needed one. We live in a low-risk village so there wasn't much to do once things got dark and going to friends' homes depended on when the friends' parents wanted them gone. When they went into the city, they were dependent on us or their friends' parents for transport to and from the station and the trains and buses didn't run late - I think the last one was before 10 pm.
YSD doesn't have one because
YSD doesn't have one because she never goes anywhere
My kids don't go anywhere
My kids don't go anywhere either.
I'm pretty sure my step kids had no curfew. They just went and did whatever
^ same. SS15 would lurk
^ same. Doesn't go anywhere. As for a bedtime (time to go to your room on school nights) SS15 would lurk around the house waiting for DH so we go to our bedroom for adult time (not just intimacy- but to have a moment alone without him waiting for DH). We're in our room before he's asleep.
My daughter is 16 but we
My daughter is 16 but we haven't really set a curfew. We just tell her to be home by a certain time depending on what she's doing. Most of the time when she's gone lately it's because she's working and she comes straight home afterwards. My son is only 12 so it hasn't come up yet.
We don't give blanket curfews
We don't give blanket curfews. It depends on the circumstance. Same happened when I was a teen, and once I had a job and proved I was responsible, my parents basically just said "don't wake us up when you get home and tell us if you stay somewhere else."
But all of that is beside the point. Why are you asking? You know you and your STBXSO aren't on the same page when it comes to how he parents. You know you don't agree with BM's parenting either. It really doesn't matter what the rest of us think is normal/okay because, I'm assuming, this is another area where you don't agree with your STBXSO.
This is a perfect thing to disengage from. Not your kid, not your problem.
I am absolutely not bringing
I am absolutely not bringing it up with him. The only time something was brought up is when we needed to agree to a time he has to be home on my work nights so I wouldn't be woken up.It was just for common courtesy.It was just something I was wondering because I don't think being at a party with males and females without asking if a parent is even home until 1 am is okay. Yes another parent brought him home so I guess all 14 year old eighth graders are doing this. Guess I am old fashioned. Oh well.
When I was a teen, my house
When I was a teen, my house was often the one where parties were hosted (not weekly parties, but the post- dance party, the Homecoming or graduation party, that kind of thing). My mother commented often on how few of the parents called to ask whether she and my dad would be present. At the time I didn't understand why parents would call about that and thought it was weird, and I was always embarrassed when my mom called other parents at whose homes parties were held. Now I get it. But I think you'd be surprised at how few parents actually check out these things.
No, that is not right, to
No, that is not right, to have an 8th grader at a coed party, unchaperoned until 1am. I would want parents to be there at that age and come home earlier than 11...as usual your parental instincts are spot on and he's out to lunch. Not surprising though! The key here is trust your own intuition and instincts. I know you're planning on leaving. But I guess I'm just saying whenever you've come on here I always think that your instincts are totally logical but he just doesn't parent that effectively.
It depended on the event, but
It depended on the event, but around 14 - 11pm by 16- midnight. These coincided with the town curfew. I did let DS slide on date nights with the midnight curfew - to 12:30 or so as he had to drive his date home. Although the rule was if he got a ticket for driving after curfew, it was his responsibility.
I had a midnight curfew in
I had a midnight curfew in high school which I thought was incredibly fair even as a teenager.
Same here. Around midnight.
Same here. Around midnight. And my mom would probably be waiting up, bwahaha!! I'm not quite there yet with my teens but I imagine I'll be that mom waiting up like my mom.