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Crr18's picture

SO and I are not married so we celebrate our anniversary as the day we met. That was yesterday. SS hasn't stayed with us  for months decided to invite friends over and then they left early and SS decided to watch a movie with us and stay the night. SO won't ask BM or SS what is going on but I know something had to happen at BMs. SO doesn't see an issue: I ask for signs all the time and this has to be a big one that I need to get out. Why else would this happen on a night we should have been celebrating alone. 


Yesterdays's picture

But also why did he allow it. It was symbolic yes but also physical because he allowed it to happen when he could have told his kid to wait a day because its your anniversary. 

Crr18's picture

Because since SS hasn't stayed for months SO probably thinks that he will continue to start again so if he told him he couldn't then it would like he didn't want him. It is unfortunate that it happens on our anniversary. 

thinkthrice's picture

These guilty daddeeeee's belief in "one big happy family" with their rose colored glasses surgically attached to their heads whilst simultaneously performing the ostrich is remarkable.  And not in a good way.


Lillywy00's picture

Trust me. 

Skid drama will occur 24/7 if your Disneyland SO continues to show he has no boundaries / allows it to do so. 

Lillywy00's picture

Probably nothing. 

If your SO is a Disneyland parent then they struggle with even the most reasonable boundaries such as telling their kids "wait until tomorrow" or "not today little Timmy but I will get you on Sunday" and everything is an emergency;  they don't care if it's your birthday, wedding, anniversary, Mother's Day, in the hospital etc.

Disneyland parents will ALWAYS override you/your wants to placate their kids. 

Rags's picture

Have no business breeding in the first place.

Sadly, we don't take kids from idiot parents any more.  

IMHO, in a Custody/Visitation situation... no blood, no fever.... nope, I'm not interrupting what I am doing to interject in what the X should be addressing on the X's time caring for the kids.  The X has no business calling me during my time with the kids.

If I am doing something with my mate, in a business meeting, traveling, etc.... I am not even going to reply until I get to the hotel, wrap up my day, and even then I will respond in a very short and brief manner.  And that is to the kid(s).  I likely would not respond to an X I had mistakenly chose to procreate with at all.  Exept in the event of an emergency involving the kids.  An actual emergency. Not some attention seeking bullshit from either the kids or the X.

 "Call me.",  I would not bother to call.  They can give me actual information or ... they get no response.

That the partner allowed the interferance in the anniversary, the partner should be looking for a place to spend the night because it would not be with me.

Hurt fee fees?  I don't care.  Upset? I don't care.  Angry? I don't care.  Injured?  I care.  In danger? I care.  My interface with them, would be very structured.  On my terms. Not theirs.


Venti's picture

We were planning a weekend away for my birthday. To be able to do that, SO needs to change the weekend he has his kid back to the normal weekend (he swapped it because his kid ditched him one weekend a few weeks ago) but nope, BM is going away. Consolation prize offered is for me to spend a weekend at his house with the kid! That's a nope!

Lillywy00's picture

I got forced to do a Mothers Day with these skids one year because BM didn't want them. 

All while this idiot agreed to take those kids during what should have been her parenting time AND he even stooped so low as to shop with his kids for her. 

And do you think I even got a simple acknowledgment from those skids 


I refused to allow it the next year and put my foot all the way down about those kids spending Mothers Day with their actual mother especially if that's who they respect and spend money shopping for. 

When you realize the pattern of behavior (your SO blowing off on days that should be for the two of you/you that don't require your stepkids to come first) and you get disgusted enough then you will see what can be done to get positive change. 

ESMOD's picture

The favor was done for your DH.. kids don't necessarily need to feel obligated for their parents caring for them... imho.. your SO is the one who did not make you feel valued.

Crr18's picture

There are no BM days or SO days anymore since the kids had quit coming over. It just so happened that in a day that was supposed to be for us was a day the SS decided to stay. I don't know what caused him to stay and I don't know if this is something that will continue. If it continues then there will have to be set days again. 

Rumplestiltskin's picture

I wonder if your SO's pathetic simping for his kids is actually making it worse as far as them wanting to come over. People don't value things that are too "easy" as much as they value things that require more effort. If DH said "No, we have plans, but you can come the next day.", that would signal to SS that there are actually things going on at your house that are valuable. That your DH's time is valuable, at least to someone (you.) Right now it doesn't sound like your SS considers his dad to be valuable at all. It may be why he treats his dad with such disrespect. As it is, your SO is telling SS "Nothing worth a sh!t going on here. We just sit around and wait for YOU to want to come over. Anything else can be cancelled!" 

Crr18's picture

SS definitely thinks SO is worthless and has no life. So what SO does by letting this happen absolutely makes it worse. 

Crr18's picture

We had went somewhere earlier in the day but I wanted to watch a movie and cuddle without a child being with us.

Crr18's picture

Nope we aren't married but I don't really want to marry again.So to me I made a commitment just not legally. I could leave but I guess I am delusional and think things will get better and they don't.

Lillywy00's picture

I know the feeling. I've questioned myself so many times about leaving wondering if I'm deluding myself if I stayed.

However, If you are a woman.....know that it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks and be careful of wasting your time/resources/remaining youth