You are here

And now I understand why the 1st ex-wife is such a psychopath..

crazymom214's picture

So. My first blog, and of course it would be about the love/hate relationship between myself and my adult stepson. There was a time when I felt sympathy for him. That was long before he ever moved in with us. Lets start at the beginning. In the years past. It was me and the boyfriend and his youngest daughter. She was in the 6th grade when we got together. And though her momma and dad had just divorced. She still received me into her heart, far more than the other two s-kids ever did, and thankfully she and I still have a very very good relationship. She probably makes fun and bitches about me behind my back from time to time. But I did the same with my bio-mom when I was 16, so I don't take it personally. lol. Then there are the other two. The ones from the 1st marriage. Yes, I'm the third marriage. And also the much younger woman. So you know that sets well. My stepson and oldest stepdaughter used to make us feel so sorry for them. The idea put into our heads was that their mother was so mean, unreasonable, psycho, overbearing, controlling, and just the epitome of the evil ex-wife. Now I get it. I sometimes want to send her a Thank You card for dealing with them so long before shipping them north to us. When my bio daughter was 3 weeks old they came to live with us. I was a first time mom and first time 'step-mom' in the true sense of the word to a total of 3 teenage s-kids and one newborn in the matter of a month. And people wondered why I ever picked up smoking again after having her. That was 2.5 years ago. This oldest s-daughter has since moved back in with her mother and is doing well for herself. Our relationship is better than it's ever been. I'm 21 weeks pregnant and she's 26 weeks or so pregnant. Total Father of the Bride scenario. Except all of these hormones aren't under one roof. Thankfully. Then there is our wonderful 21 year old man-child. He works a part time job, goes to college, which is all paid for through financial aid. Some would think that I'm fortunate and should be thankful that he even does that. But it definitely comes at a cost. His attitude is unbearable! He is the closest to me in age, I wonder if that has anything to do with our constant butting heads. None the less, I feel this is my house, Hubs decided to marry me before he ever moved in with us, and I feel like I should get the respect I deserve, all of the time, not just when dad is around. Our most recent dilemma is that dad works out of town 5 days a week every week. So it's just me and sonny boy, a constant battle over something everyday. Me being pregnant isn't helping any. We don't have the living space for those here and I just want to scream for him to get out and live on his own! When I was his age I was working a full time job, living with his dad, and sending him money to go to the Jr. Prom, for crying out loud! His excuse for not getting out on his own that is he doesn't know how long he will be living in the area, so he doesn't want to get tied into a lease. I've been renting for years without ever leasing once. He's lazy, a total smart alleck, and I can honestly see when his mother kicked him out before when he came here to live. Perhaps this woman isn't so unreasonable. When he is home he is hulled up in his bedroom playing video games and webcamming with girls. GROW UP ALREADY. He can't even manage to wash his own clothes before they get to the point that they take over his entire room or that he would be forced to go naked. Just today he threw a fit because all of the towels were in the washer and he couldn't shower when he woke up. At three o'clock in the day. Hubby says he will never put him out on the street. But I'm to the point of just running away from home. HELPPPPP!!!!

Comments

alwaysanxious's picture

If hubby isn't there most of the time to deal with any of this, why does DH think he should have the final say about SS staying?

You two don't get along, he's old enough to care for himself, he can find a month to month rental and be done.

crazymom214's picture

It's a talk we have weekend after weekend when he's home. It's just hard to make any progress, or for him to see the same attitude I do when he's not here. He'll be home Thur night. And it'll be like starting from scratch with this conversation. Thanks for the advice. Smile

crazymom214's picture

lol.. I call him about a zillion times a day with the "Do you hear this?! This is what I'm talking about!". He must give some sort of damn. He's not started ignoring my calls yet. At one point SS did live with my MIL because I refused to deal with him. That caused a big family rift. MIL wouldn't talk to us because we were "too hard" on her GS. She's nearly 80 and a know it all. She came to the same realization that we are all in the same boat dealing with the man-child and sent him back to us because she couldn't deal with with him either.