Please and Thank You
My SDs have always, always had problems with saying please and thank you...politeness in general. I told DH this was an issue very early on back when they were 7 and 9, when I first met them. They just had things handed to them with no 'thanks' needed. No matter what it was - whatever they got was expected. It's starting JUST NOW to bother DH (YSD is 14.5 and with us 50/50, OSD is PAS'd out now for years and she's 16.5).
DH has started talking about this with YSD.
This weekend, as I was making dinner for myself (DH was out), YSD texted me - an astonishing feat in itself to see if I could send her a recipe that she really likes so she could make it at BMs. No please, but it was phrased ok. So I stopped what I was doing, found it, sent it to her....and nothing.
I told DH that I am going to discuss basic politeness and saying thank you to people even if she doesn't think it's a big deal. I stopped what I was doing to help her. Period. That requires a thank you, some recognition of my time and help. And if she does it again I will stop helping. (I actually did this with OSD who would call me and 'demand' a ride somewhere - I always refused unless she was polite about it - she hung up on me once...oh well, that ride wasn't needed was it?)
DH agreed AND agreed to let me address it WITHOUT him. No second guessing or undermining me.
So we'll see how it goes tonight.