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OSD and PAS, contact?

Cover1W's picture

OSD was supposed to call DH this week to talk about college according to BM. Of course after DH explained his reticence to BM to help pay for OSDs college since she hasn't spoken to him for over two years.

Nothing all week then last night after dinner around 7:30 BM tells him OSD will call him tonight (Friday). From BMs phone.

He says no, he's tired from a long week can she call Saturday? No she's busy. BM demands it be that night and insinuates it's now DH's fault for not being available with no notice. DH texts back, it's not a good time. Sunday will work for me. Then turns off his phone.

Says he'd rather hang out with me and wind down from the week and it's expected that he just jump to her wants isn't it? Nothing's changed.

So far he's ok today, no regrets. Hasn't checked his phone.

Also why BMs phone? We think OSD must have a new phone/number and DH doesn't have it. So likely he's been sending texts to OSD for nothing. He's going to point blank ask OSD why she's using her mom's phone if he talks with her.



Findthemiddle's picture

Your husband is right - don't let the nutters force you to dance to their tune

Cover1W's picture

It's been a long long road for him to get to this point. Very proud of him for standing his ground.

tog redux's picture

Good for him for making it on HIS terms. Can BM get college tuition ordered by the court? That's what BM here did. DH would not have given SS a penny.

After the first court appearance, where DH told the magistrate that SS hadn't spoken to him in 3 years, SS (18 at the time) started coming around again! It was a miracle! 

He did have to pay for a wasted year of community college, but at least it broke the ice and SS speaks to him again.

Cover1W's picture

Before he did this he made sure to check the CS, which stated that he and BM must agree to college funding, no requirement to pay he says. I haven't looked at it so have to trust him. He knows that thing pretty much by heart anyway.

I think that if they went to court he could be forced to pay, it's that kind of State. But he doesn't see BM doing that, much less OSD. Her family has money. They are looking at private colleges, most on the east coast. $$$ but DH says with scholarships, which she could get, could cover tuition/housing pretty well, so it's about the same as a state college here. I am not in that conversation though. DH did ask me about financial disclosures, and I told him again do NOT NOT NOT send anything directly to BM. If the school requires information from the father's household, then BM shoulld supply the school with your info and you provide it ONLY to the school directly.

tog redux's picture

I hope she doesn't take it to court. That was a miserable experience, to be forced to pay for a kid who a) had no business going to college, and b) hadn't spoken to DH in 3 years. Waste of money. At least DH went without an attorney so we didn't lose money there. 

shamds's picture

So their grown arse kid gets a fully paid degree instead of taking out loans themselves and working a side job?

in Australia you would never be able to take parents to court to fund your university/college studies. Magistrate would tell you to get a Help loan like everyone else and a part time job to cover textbooks etc.

Winterglow's picture

"Also why BMs phone?"

Possibly because BM is going to have to back her into a corner to get her to call (has maybe even confiscated her phone) and this is the only way to ensure she actually does.

Cover1W's picture

BM never everrrrrrrr makes OSD do anything she doesn't want to do. Ever.

I think she's mollified OSD that DH won't have her direct number.

Cover1W's picture

DH backslid and contacted BM about OSDs phone. Of course still no response. I asked him WHY did you do that? You were going to wait until you spoke with OSD and ask HER, the almost 18-yo, why she's using her mom's phone. Why are you constantly trying to get answers out of BM. She doesn't care! Again, not on your side! Stop it!

He's like, yeah, you are right.

Ok then, just stop with BM.

He also found out she's applied to a very expensive difficult to get into school. All women college of course (she hates men). He wants to discuss her options with her (she's visited several all women's schools) and I'm sure that's not going to go over well.

He also wants me somehow involved because my finances will also be requested. No idea what he means but heck no, not getting involved but to support him.