dinner table convo

Ok, so DH did it AGAIN! DH said something about being "loco" and YSD, almost 17, two years of spanish taken now, asked, "What does that mean?" I said, two years into spanish and you don't know - and kind of laughed. I then asked, say something in spanish....she said "Whaaaa...?" and squirmed. Like she does with most direct questions. "Say something in Spanish, anything!" I wasn't being mean or anything, just trying to get her involved LIKE DH WANTS ME TO DO. Then she says something non-committal again (because I don't think she CAN say anything in Spanish, in spite of being a straight-A student it's all book learning and her teachers basically don't care)...and DH interupts and says something like, Oh, you don't have to say anything...then to me, she knows she just doesn't want to. I look at him hard and say, "OK then, SORRY for asking a question to her. I take it back and will not do it again, many apologies."

Later on he's asking me what's wrong because I was pretty much done talking for the night at that point. I'll tell you DH, but if I do you CANNOT get mad at me or I will no longer ever discuss it. He agrees. I tell him that he shut me down at the table, in front of YSD again. AGAIN. Told him what happened and how it made me feel - meaningless. He said you "Put her on the spot!" "I asked her a direct question, and if that put her on the spot so be it - she's going to encounter that all the time out in the real world. How is the poor thing going to survive if people always 'put her on the spot' or 'ask her direct questions? " He says I was "picking on her." "That's your perspective DH, when I interact with her you most often interrupt me to stop - do you think I'm always picking on her?" He says he will jump to her defense whenever he thinks it's necessary. But if I think he's wrong, then I need to defend myself or speak up. "Like I did tonight? Like I've done before and you steamroll over me? Ok, if you want to do it that way, then the next time this happens I WILL for certain let you know exactly how I feel RIGHT THEN. In front of YSD." And if he thinks there's so much tension at the dinner table and he's the only one talking well, gee, I wonder why.

He also agreed that YSD is difficult to talk with and difficult to have there at the table because she hardly talks. So he has this grand idea of witty banter every evening at the dinner table (re-creating HIS experience as a kid). I noted to him that I've tried that before and whatever I say or do or topic I bring up it's shut down. So I'll most certainly do it again for his act. OK, we'll try it again DH. No holds barred.

He also told me he was talking with a friend who lived with someone with autism and that he described YSD to him. And he said it certainly sounded like YSD was on the scale, like I've said before. I just said, "uh-huh." He says that's it? "I'm not a phychologist." What does that mean? "It means that I don't have any idea what to tell you."

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If he suspects she has autism.

Get her an assessment for Pete's sake! I actually only recently found out that adhd often runs parallel to autistic spectrum. If anything if SHE is "Neuro divergent" as they sometimes call it, she will need to learn some coping skills to ever launch successfully.

YES! I KNOW! It's crazy

YES! I KNOW! It's crazy making! And DH is ADD!

Although he denies it! Even though he's on ADD meds!

CRAZY MAKING!

Sounds like

DH wants his cake and eat it too. I'm sure there is legit autism but it seems it is being used as an excuse for poor breeding and ill mannered behavior more and more. Then again I'm old fashioned.

Oh, IMHO she's got it. There

Oh, IMHO she's got it. There's the lack of parenting layered on top of it but the Autistic checklist for girls ticks almost all the basic boxes for her. But what do the experts really know?

So I just yell up the stairs

So I just yell up the stairs to DH (I'm still working) that our neighbors were wondering if we wanted to join them for dinner before our trivia night tonight. We'd need to leave here in about 15 min. DH's response wasn't, "No thanks we can meet them there..." or some-such. No. It was an irritated "I'm playing a game with YSD right now!" FFS ok then, communication done.

Can anyone say.... ROSE COLORED GLASSES??

He asks you to engage and participate, then gets all butt hurt when you engage and partipate. Then when he makes an effort to draw you into conversation on the earlier event he gets butt hurt that you told him exactly what you told him you were going to tell him making sure he knew the consequences if he did what... ultimately he did.

Then, he is all butt hurt how many hours later that he throws a lippy tantrum about meeting the neighbors for dinner then going to game night. Sounds like someone has his baby girl butt hurt panties in a twist because his idiot daughter got her ass bared on learning shit for nothing in Spanish class even though she is ostensibly an A student.

smh

I feel for your Cover. I could not continue to wallow in a daily life with this multigenerational society of immature dipshits.

I'm going to partially defend

I'm going to partially defend SD. I took three years of high school French and two semesters in college and I rarely spoke in class. In high school I can't recall ever speaking. Everything was reading, writing, and translating. I recall speaking in college, but my pronunciation was so bad that my professor rarely called on me. At two years in high school the only sentence I could probably put together orally was Je m'appelle...

Loco may not be a word in the class text or a word the Spanish teacher would introduce. Schools tend to avoid using words with negative connotations in the classroom.

That being said, you don't need to know Spanish to know the meaning of loco. The word is in English dictionaries. It is a word that I would have thought a high schooler would be familiar with.

Agree to a certain extent

Yes I think Cover put a teen on the spot. It's kinda cause we are sick of SK bullcrap, but regardless...yes a teen may feel on the spot with being questioned on Spanish knowledge. And really Cover was asking her to be, well, real, and SD couldn't so she shut down.

Yes loco is a common language word now - but a young teen may not have heard of it.

But the DH response is one I know well and is BS...

I took 1yr of HS Spanish my first sophomore year.

I flunked that class. I flunked every class that year but one. Hense why it was my first sophomore year of HS.

Even with that, and it having been 43ish years... I recall something.......

?Do'nde esta'n los banos? - Where are the toilets?

Be'same aqui'. - Kiss me here.

?Do'nde esta' usted? -Where are you.

Me llamo es Rags. - My name is Rags.

There are a few more in there but dredging them up is not worth the effort.

How does someone sit through a class for months, particularly a class they are currently attending with a grade of 'A' and not get a damned thing out of it?

smh

Daddy is delusional. - Papá está delirando. (I Shmoogled that one.)