DH Mood = known issue
Well, he did it yet again.
He was in a low mood yesderday when I got home. Refused to make dinner so YSD and I threw something together.
Then he got annoyed at dinner with me for talking too much about something (he NEVER does this when YSD isn't there). So I got up and left the table. I wasn't putting up with that.
THEN we were discussing a home fix we HAVE to do and he purported to be *shocked* at the cost. Even though we have discussed it to no end before deciding months ago to move forward with it. He wants to put it off and wants more quotes. Note I've done literally all the background work on this, research, calling vendors (people we use regularly), arranging meetings, discussions on the phone with them. So I told him, fine, I agree with asking more questions, no issue. If you want no heat in the downstairs bathroom, we'll cut it out of the quote - I don't use it anyway. And I will NOT go without heat in the house into the middle of winter. I will arrange for X person to come out again to see if furnace is safe to use through then but you MUST be here when he is here and MUST go look at our current furnace with him to see the problem.
Good news is the vendor will work with us on this nutty decision (because he's awesome). I am on the verge of telling DH that I myself will pay him the potential tax credit directly and get the system installed as planned this fall. FFS.
**AND THEN I find out that OSD leaves for college TODAY - on his freaking birthday. AGAIN, I GET THE SH*T END OF THE STICK.**
DH thinks he's having a discussion while he's really pissed off and he's impossible to "discuss" things with - If you don't agree he'll railroad you. And I was not having it last night. He tried all his tricks, "I'm sad. I've got issues, don't make me feel bad (when pointing out I did all the work on it so far), telling me I've 'not known hardship' - for not wanting to live in an unheated house, etc."
I went to bed early.
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Good grief...who would want to live in an unheated house
this ain't the 1800's for heaven sake.
I hate the tricks..
Oh boo hoo..I'm sad, stressed, blah, blah, blah.
Don't make me feel bad........*insert rolling of my eyes**
Oh I don't do ANYTHING right... *insert double rolling of my eyes**
I would have been tempted to respond to the hardhship comment with..
Ok there martyr...we can build you a he shed out back with no heat. Feel free to move in there and you can experience "hardship" all you want. I'll be here in the nice warm house...Or asking him to get down off the cross cause I'm gonna need the wood to heat the house.
LOL - he was also on a roll
LOL - he was also on a roll about the haves/have nots and what do the have nots do and just because we have the funds to replace our heating system without x government help this year why shouldn't we wait, etc., etc. I'm like, I'm pretty certain DH that those people wouldn't wait to have heat in the winter if they could and wouldn't wait if they didn't have to. FFS. He was all over the place last night.
He never learned to manage money properly and it's all bound up with emotion for him. While I was raised partly by my banker/financer dad who taught me young to handle money and it's never about emotion but logic; and that's why I know and planned how we're paying for it.
LOL...who cares about the have nots....they are not you.
Heat...it is a a need not a want. We replaced ours about 5 years ago..its not cheap but it was worth it. Heating costs went way down...since it was more efficient.
DH, although never balks about the costs of stuff, does have an issue with impulse buying. He cannot watch home shopping shows, look at facebook or anything like it. He will be the most insane stuff....every once in awhile he stumbles on a nugget but mostly its junk. LOL
Your DH has worse PMS than
Your DH has worse PMS than most women.
Does he have a dark rain
Does he have a dark rain cloud above his head when he is saying all these things...that's all I can think of, Charlie Brown with the rain cloud hanging over his head.
The "you haven't known hardship" would have pushed me right over the edge...
YES he does! OMG I can see
YES he does! OMG I can see it in his posture. He has low level clinical depression and it's very difficult for him AND me to deal with (he forgets I also have to deal with it....and his ADD - of which he ADMITTED he's taking lower doses of and this ALWAYS happens when he does the lower doses...then says, "That's not why, I don't need those" like any other person on the planet that actually needs meds but gets better then thinks they don't need them. I told him he needs to talk with his counselor, and he said he CANCELLED his appointment for today because he didn't feel like talking with her. JFC.
Unheated house in the middle
Unheated house in the middle of winter. Here you'd have your pipes freeze.
A couple of years ago we had to replace our furnace in the middle of February. We were lucky they could install the next day. We were lucky that it was in the middle of a warm spell (about 35°F). Even so that night with no heat was not fun.
Downstairs bathroom with no heat. Eventually, the house will be sold. That will be a real turn off to potential buyers. Penny pinch now. Lose more money later.
Obviously DH is not thinking clearly.
I told him about the freezing
I told him about the freezing pipes problem. He dismissed it. Like our woodstove (heats top floor well) will somehow heat the basement almost two floors down.
I'll actually pay for heater in that bath if it really comes to it. I gave the same thoughts. Like he's going to make YSD use and unheated bathroom? Beahahahahaha! Yeah, right.
Yeah we talked today and he's
Yeah we talked today and he's backed off. I am talking with heating guy and electrician so we'll have some plans in place. I told him I will not live here with no heat through January.
And you remain with this dumb ass why?
He's not like this all the
He's not like this all the time..that's the decided factor. Plus once he thinks about it we actually can talk.
He's got issues from prior family and he's working on it. We have come to an agreement on how to move forward and that's the key factor.
I am glad that you and he are partnering.
With that, positive outcomes are possible.
If both of you can stay aligned.
Take care of you.