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Cat Thursday Apparently...

Cover1W's picture

One of my kitties woke me up at around 3:00 am yesterday, sneezing, congested, wheezing, and likely feverish. She was making a lot of noise and trying to huddle up next to me. She had been sneezing a bit for the last two days, but I had switched litter brands and was ready to switch any case, I stayed home and took her to the vet.

She's got a potential sinus/respiratory infection.
Not in her lungs, it was caught early, and likely not an infected tooth.
Vet put her on antibiotics and decongestants.

Now. How did she get this? Indoor only cats. DH, I and SD14 have had no contact in the last week with other animals. EXCEPT, I realized this morning, SD11 could have gone to her friends house last Wednesday and visited, you got it, a plethora of other animals. And does she wash her hands? A resounding NO (since they have an empty soap container and no hand towels - well, a filthy one - in their bathroom).

So, I say to DH this morning, carefully, since he doesn't like hearing that his precious children could POSSIBLY be the cause of something bad...

Cover: I was thinking, did SD11 go over to her friends house on Wednesday, the one with the bunnies and farm? Because that might be how Kitty got the thing transmitted to her.
DH: I don't know. (said in a tone like, 'how the he!! should I know' because he doesn't know where his 11 yo daughter was anyway)
Cover: Ok, maybe I'll ask her tonight.
DH: Don't you go accusing her of causing that!
Cover: I wasn't, I was just going to ASK if she was at her friends house with the animals last Wednesday. Because you know, the SDs are not washing their hands again, and she's the only one with contact.
DH: Well, the vet said it could have been anyone here, or it could be, or maybe it was...(blah blah anything BUT the most likely candidate who first thing she does when she comes home is hug the cats - which I personally love to see).
Cover: I wasn't going to blame her, just ASK to see if she was there, that's it. Just forget it.
DH: I wasn't saying you were wrong.
Cover: Yeah, you kind of were.

I did make sure to leave on a nice note, but man, it's so HARD sometimes. All I want to do is have a conversation about it and it's all about not blaming anyone, which I wasn't doing. Just bringing up an idea and re-iterate the importance of hand-washing - ONLY to DH. And he's the one who wanted me to "remind" him of basic stuff like this. So ya know what? I'm out again. Back to disengaging on that stuff.

It's like, if we had a case of salmonella going around our house, and we were all sick, you bet we'd figure out pretty darn quick who was not washing their hands or prepping food properly. Or, then again, maybe we wouldn't... Sad


moving_on_again's picture

I hope your kitty feels better soon!

And sorry your mystery will never get solved even though you know the answer.

Cover1W's picture

She was actually up and about this morning, almost like normal.
A little less vocal and enthusiastic about helping me get my shoes on but much better than yesterday!

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

I hope your Kitty makes a super quick recovery!!! And I'm sorry about the frustrating conversations, I know the feeling. Hugs!

futurobrillante99's picture

Wow, you got a touchy one there.

SS20 drinks straight from the milk jug. It grosses SS18 out and he won't drink the milk in our house. I don't drink milk, but it isn't only milk just SS20 drinks straight from the container.

I went to the store a couple of weeks ago and got SS20 his own milk - wrote his name on it. I also put notes on the milk and chocolate milk to please use a glass so as not to spread germs. DH and I were just getting over a nasty cold.

I noticed SS20 wasn't drinking his milk. DH says it's because the notes I left are HUMILIATING!!!! WTF!! If he would teach his sons not to be selfish gross pigs, I wouldn't have to write notes like that. I wouldn't have to tell SS20 that he left urine on the toilet seat and have the smarta$$ say, "Oh. Did you want me to clean it off?" Yes, douchecanoe!! "Yes, please."

These men. The problem is US - not their poorly raised children.

Cover1W's picture


Any conversations we have about "parenting" leads to DH saying, "You just think I'm a bad dad and I don't know how don't you?"

The last time he said this I agreed, but also told him it's also on BM, not just him.

I just get tired of hearing it and the moaning about issues that never seem to be fixed...don't even get me started on the whole fiasco of SD11 moving out of SD14's room. THAT'S a saga that yesterday had my eyes rolling UP SO HARD I almost fell over.

advice.only2's picture

Lol okay this might be a bit over the top, but go give your DH a huge big old wet sloppy kiss in front of SS20 then go get the milk and take a huge swig right in front of him and give him a smile and ask him if he'd like a drink? But I'm an a$$hole like that.

thinkthrice's picture

OMG is this in the "Skid Charter" somewhere? My skids used to use gallon jugs of anything as their personal canteen.


freebird's picture

Gross Alert Here......

SS12 has been wiping BOOGERS on the wall by his bed for the past year. Boogers. Yuck! Anyway, I put a box of tissues next to his bed and a note on the wall asking him to use the tissues, not the wall. DH decided that was too 'mean'. Boogers sat there forever. Finally, a month ago, DH gave the kid some 409 and a rag and said 'there's something on your wall, will you clean it up?' Kid did clean it up, but guess what? There are fresh boogies in their place. JC, tell the kid not to wipe boogers on the wall! What in the actual F. Gross. I'm sure this is my fault somehow :? lol

Aniki's picture

What.The.F*ck. The kid is TWELVE, not 2. Tell your DH he is now responsible for SS's room. If it needs clean sheets, vacuuming, de-boogering... SS or DH can do it and you will not set foot in there until the little shi'thead stops doing that. GROSS!!!

freebird's picture

Totally agree! The boogs are right next to the bed-I have been playing keep away ever since I saw the first nasty swipe. No way am I going ANYWHERE near there. I just gag. The kid is a special snowflake, we shouldn't teach him basic manners like where to dispose of a booger. Might hurt his feelings. ((((hurls on floor))))

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

I do hope your cat get's better. It does suck when they get ill.

However what does it matter? Animals get sick for all sorts of reasons and you said one of them is ill. Not all?

I'm not sure how old the cats are but a respiratory infection can come from anywhere and transmitting from one animal at one site to another animal on another site without ALL animals at both sites being sick is far fetched.

I've had breeder friends express how contagious bacterial based respiratory issues are. Given they were dealing with different animals but I've known them to cull (kill) all of their stock because it was so out of control which again makes me wonder how only one of your animals has this if it was from an animal at another site.

Your requesting that SD was her hands is fine and perfectly reasonable but don't try to blame this on her. It happens. Your animal could have gotten sick from all sorts of sources one being that she aspirated on some food / milk which is a known cause of sinus and respiratory issues.

Be careful blaming your animals illness on this 11 year old. Even more so when you don't know for sure. It will cause all sorts of problems as you've already seen.

Basically, Don't use your animals illness to push your cause.

Cover1W's picture

The vet said it's highly likely the other cat will be sick too, very soon.
We caught the first one early on.

Didn't blame SD11 BUT I just was wondering about the cause - because she's had direct contact with other animals in the last week. AND she doesn't wash her hands...or her clothes much either for that matter.

AND this is also the reason I'm back to disengaging. Even with a real life (probably) example of how lack of hand washing is bad, I'm the villain and how dare I insinuate that bad hygiene practices by SDs could be anything but amazing with sparkling rainbows?!

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

Your basically saying that SD didn't wash her hands and that's what caused your cat to get sick.

It's a pretty big jump and it's understandable that DH doesn't really buy it.

That's why I'm saying don't claim she made the cat sick. He's not going to see it that way. He's going to see that you are blaming his 11 year old for you cat getting sick. "Yes but she didn't wash her hands" isn't going to do it. He's not going to see it that way. He's seeing your blaming his kid. Done. To him it feels like your just looking for something to say she did wrong.

Push the hand washing thing but there's no way to know for sure that she is the cause. You can't blame her when you don't know. You don't even know if the animals at the other home are sick. If so how long does that bacteria survive on the human body to then be transferred to the other animal.

Your connecting her poor hygiene to your pet. It's too personal. It's not that he doesn't think bad things can happen from poor hygiene. It's that your putting him in a place of defense and his daughter being the bad guy. Don't use this event to push your cause.

Sweet T's picture

Here is a germ fun fact. If you visit a commercial dairy farm they will make you put these bag like covers over your shoes so that you are not bringing in germs to pass onto the cows.

It is possible if you visited a person with a sick animal to spread that from your clothing.

This summer we visited some caves. They worry about some bat disease that came be carried on your shoes from other caves. They ask about if u have been to another cave in the last week.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

Fun germ fact.


Yes good hygiene is important but saying "your child won't wash her hands and it's her fault my cat is sick," isn't going to go well.

It's not that hard to see why DH will see this as just an attack on his child. Saying that she "may" have caused this is going to be heard as "it's her fault," yet there's no proof.

OP does not know for sure if any animal that the girl may have come in contact was sick. She's trying to find a reason because that's natural. Buy there is no clear cause. As I pointed out the cat might have aspirated on milk or food which would cause that 1 cat to get sick since til this point it's the only one that has.

Even if it is something that was picked up it's not to say the girl did it. Your example shows that it could be anyone who walked outside and came in contact with infected matter of any kind.

It's fine to push hygiene but don't blame the girl for the sick cat. It will not go well. It's not pointing out the girls lack of hygiene it's making her guilty of something while providing no proof. DH will see it as that alone. You saying she make your cat sick.

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

Healing vibes coming your kitty's way!

I'm not sure if cats can get "people" cold viruses and such?

thinkthrice's picture

Are your kitty's ears warm? This is indicative of a fever (or sitting under the woodstove)

Cover1W's picture

Her ears and nose were super warm the other morning, she didn't have a raised temp at vet but vet did note her ears, eyes and nose were very pink, as I had wondered about as well.

Gimlet's picture

I volunteer at an animal shelter (dangerous since we're at cat-pacity at home,) and when we do sick room duty, they tell us to not only wash our hands, but to put our clothes in the washer as soon as we get home, and to shower. Some of those illnesses are highly contagious.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with telling an 11 year old to wash her hands after playing with other people's animals. I told my toddler that, FFS. That's just common sense, whether she was the cause or not.

When we adopted our little stray brat this summer, he managed to give Special Kitty a cold even though they were almost 100% segregated. He's fine now, but he had a raspy meow for a while. Fat Tabby was unaffected.

robin333's picture

I hope your feline gets better very quickly.

I will never understand how basic hygiene is too much for some people.

Acratopotes's picture

HOn, I hope you've learned your lesson now, once disengage, never engage again, nothing changes .....

never tell DH anything again he can find out all on his own,

Cover1W's picture

I know! I realized it was going so well BECAUSE I disengaged for so long.
I'm back to it, don't worry.
It's easy to go back!