So today is YSD's birthday.

She decided weeks ago that she wanted her party at BMs house, because BM - and because two of her friends there have helicopter parents and don't allow over-nights (at age 13/14).  So fine, DH said OK.  Of course with no make-up time again for that lost time.

He spoke with BM a couple days ago and they agreed YSD would come back to spend time with DH on Sunday afternoon/evening for her birthday so he could have time to celebrate too.  She would come back with her friends who live in our area.  Easy.  HA!

So apparently he let her know about it, but didn't hear what was said.  Last night he asked her at dinner, "YSD, have you decided whether you want to come her on Sunday?  Have you thought about it yet?"  Me:  open mouth gaping at him and shaking my head (I know better than to say anything...) YSD, "Um, I'm not sure."  DH:  "But it woudl be so nice to see you, and I agreed that you could have your b-day at BMs."  YSD, "I don't know..."  and so on.  DEAR LORD.  THIS is the issue - 14 yo has all the power.

Then in that convo it also slipped that DH did indeed enroll her in two after-school activities even though he had agreed one was enough. That was hidden from me.

I just picked up my plate and walked away from that mess.

And not going to say a dang word.  The beauty of disengaging.