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Cover1W's picture

8 days vacation and no SDs. Was totally fun and exhausting and lovely.
We talked a lot (not unusual) and even about SDs with no real issues, just talking. DP only got a little hinky when the subject of monitoring electronic devices came up (on his side)...all I said was you will probably want to monitor use if you are concerned (I know BM is and has said so)...he is just not ok with checking MINOR girls use. Even though we found out SD11 set up an account for SD9, in SD9 name, and is using it. I am out of that, I told him. You and BM need to work it out...

Recently SD11 has asked to get her ears pierced. BM says age 13, DP has no clue. He said, to his credit, that he would talk with BM. But he did say they she needs to be brushing her teeth, showering, washing hands and face and basic hygiene first. But he said it in that "soft" way we SMs know too well. SD11 turned to me for my opinion. DP said no to hearing me but SD11 pressed it. So I told her I agreed with her dad and discussed hygiene and ear cleaning etc. and dropped it. Didn't say yes or no...but her friends have their ears pierced! (Yeah and they likely brush teeth and bathe regularly too).

AND then on Friday DP asked me to marry him after a romantic evening. And yes, of course! He's a sweet man and we get along like crazy. My family and his are super exited. We are having to tell them to slow down, it'll be a long engagement and who the hell knows what kind of ceremony... Biggrin and no, SDs don't know yet. We won't have both of them at same time for a couple more days

Comments

Indigo's picture

Congratulations!

Bemused and delighted for you. A long engagement is wise at this point as you figure things out...

Personally, I slowed down my engagement and joining households since I've been here on STeptalk. Keeping company but separate households. Never considered how much could or should be addressed prior to marriage/living together with biokids, stepkids, stepgrandkids raised as stepkids, deceased wives, exDH's, etc.. I'd rather resolve issues and potential issues before they become huge deal-breakers. Granted, I'm older and there is more baggage.

Consider the combined wisdom and advice of all posters on STeptalk as a bit of premarital counseling. Pick their brains and use their experience.

Again, congratulations on your engagement.