Almost Made It
Through without any drama! Almost!
SD has been with us for 9 days, leaves tomorrow. All has been pretty good. I just didn't do as much as usual. I had to cook Xmas eve dinner which was supposed to have been done by DH - he knew I was p*ssed about that but did make it up in cleanup and help the next day so on Xmas I didn't have to do a thing. Plus, I only made a couple things. And drank a good amount of bubbly. LOL!
DH and YSD got into it yesterday. She was being HIGHLY annoying - think an almost 14 yo acting like 8. DH said this, not me. She had a little toy harmonica that was driving us insane and she kept telling stupid jokes over and over and over and over. We had been having a nice dinner until she started up. Drove me from the table.
DH then got into a back and forth with her about the dang harmonica. By this point, I was doing something else in another room. She was being a total 14 yo with attitude - talking back and not stopping with her 'playing.' So he got up, said basically, "All right then, you want me to leave? I'll leave. This is what happens, you've driven me from my own house." I was coming up the stairs at this point, she rushed by me with a stricken look on her face, and went to her room.
He left - which was fine with me.
She did not get on the phone with BM, which is a minor miracle.
DH came back about an hour later (I had an hour to myself, also a minor miracle). We talked about PAS, OSD, BM, his parenting and how to actually put the brakes on her back-talk quicker (she tried stuff on me last night and I shut it down quick). He wants to "talk with BM" about OSD and this whole situtation as it's effecting YSD. However, I did tell him YSD was acting pretty much like a teenager and I didn't think it was PAS; however I do think that he needs to pay attention as if she tanks today with him too - and she's done this several times right before she's gone back to BMs since the summer, that it makes it easier to go back to BMs if she's mad at him for some reason, whatever that may be. Proves he's a jerk and she doesn't want to be with us. DH was like, "Oh, I didn't think of that" - yeah, because you need to READ about PAS and educate yourself. He tried backing out of that again and I really stood my ground and told him, then you go on ahead and keep flailing around and not understanding the difference between normal teen and PAS and what can/could happen. Because again, I cannot help you DH!
I left him an article earlier today, texted him about how it's going and heard nothing. So likely not good. I'm out with a friend tonight so at least I get a break from whatever's going on there today.
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Comments
I don't get why his response
I don't get why his response was to go out. That's essentially leaving their wellbeing to you as you are then the only adult present. Why didnt he just send her to her room?
Eh, she's almost 14, dinner
Eh, she's almost 14, dinner was over. I didn't do anything. She won't bug me.
I think he should have ended the squabble much earlier on, but he doesn't ever see how. He cannot and chooses to not " be the bad guy." Yes we have discussed this to no end.
Her room is not a punishment. It's where she is most of the time. He should have taken the harmonica away and made her finish clearing the table and loading the dishwasher.
But he also cooled off and she, I think, also realized that she went too far.
Yeah for me leaving the house
Yeah for me leaving the house is a problem. Hes a parent, he doesn't get to just walk out when the behaviour of the children he created doesn't sit well with him. So I find that baffling.
Good to hear that you weren't in any way bothered by it.
He should've walked up to her
He should've walked up to her and confiscated her harmonica.
I told him that when we
I told him that when we talked. After the first request that she knock it off, it goes away.
But you see, he's a Disney dad. He has two modes: the discussion dad and the mad dad. There's no firm rules dad.
But you see, he's a Disney
But you see, he's a Disney dad. He has two modes: the discussion dad and the mad dad. There's no firm rules dad.
I'm new to this site and I've never heard Disney dad before, but that's genius! That is exactly what my husband is! It's either the stern "talking" dad or the finally pissed off dad. There is no calm but firm rules dad.
He left the house
He left the house that he pays the mortgage on because his 14 year old kid refused to stop playing a stupid harmonica? Damn..... I guess he showed her who calls the shots in that house!
Interesting perspective, and
Interesting perspective, and he told her this exactly!!!
She didn't want it at all...so her actions backfired on her. I don't know how he followed up with her the next day, but he was going to 'talk' with her....lol whatever that means. He knows he cannot do that again, even though I agreed with it this once.