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An Affair

Cover1W's picture

Came home the other night last week, later than normal, to DH sitting on couch (and a clean living room, again! Yay for me!) – says to me, “We need to talk about something.”

Me: OK, what’s up?
DP: We need to be careful what we say around the girls.
Me: What?
DP: They pick up on everything.
Me: Yeah, I know, but so what? We don’t talk about things we shouldn’t if they are around. We can’t hide whatever’s going on from them at the same time.
DP: Yes. It’s just that I picked up SD11’s phone yesterday to give it back to her and I saw an email sent to her. It was from her friend J.
Me: Oh, I like J. She’s a good one. What’s up? (me thinking, my goodness is he actually going to FINALLY realize the nasty side to SD11 that is logged forever in writing/texts/emails?)
DP: Well, the email from J said, “I hope that Cover1W isn’t having an affair on your dad, that would be sad.”
Me: WTH? (Internally, good for J! She likes me!) Well, you know I’m not so just let it go (realizing he hadn’t read the full string which I suspect started with SD11 saying something like, “I hope Cover1W is having an affair on my dad because then she’d leave!”)
DP: You know J uses her mom’s email right?
Me: Yes, and that’s good so her mom knows what she’s doing.
DP: Um, yes. But what if her mom sent that email?
Me: WTF? So what? Either it’s 11 y.o. girls being stupid or it’s and adult butting into something she has no right to do, based upon an 11 y.o assumption. So just ignore the whole thing. And no way am I going to be careful about what we say to each other unless it’s really private. SDs need to know how good couples interact. AND need to know we can spend time apart or with friends separate from each other and still be super happy together. Seriously. Ignore it. (meanwhile Cover1W is thinking about how to inconspicuously steer him towards actually checking SD11’s email history...)
DP: Yes, good.

Bejeezus.

Comments

ChiefGrownup's picture

Inconspicuously? Hell, I would stand up and insist he read the whole thing right now in front of me. He needs to know the context. Right now your husband is suspecting that his daughter knows something he doesn't. He's wondering how to to figure out what his daughter heard or saw that led her to start suspecting you of an affair. I would call off all appointments for the day, including work or dropoffs or whatever else might take us away from her phone and this conversation, and insist he read the entire conversation.

Then he will see what dumbass thing sparked the remark and see how innocent you are. With the added benefit that he may also see the vicious side of his kid.

Cover1W's picture

Oh, he doesn't believe her at all. He was more worried that she was spreading rumors that OTHER adults would hear. I did also tell him later on that he DID need to monitor her emails, and he has acknowledged that he needs to do so. HE'S SCARED TO. And therefore, she continues to have the upper hand. I stay out of it other than suggesting he do so. My BIL is going to have a little chat with him soon as my niece is also 11 and a good kid, but has been caught doing things she shouldn't.

No saint's picture

Agreed: he should read the whole thread. they say they don't believe it and, in a few months/years, it may come back to bite you in the ass, if things betewwn you go sour.

Jsmom's picture

He should have read it all. He needs to see what lead up to that statement.

She sounds like she is stirring something up. SD18 did that and we lost some friends over it. They believed her lies about me and never returned our calls again.