So DH had a little text exchange with OSD yesterday evening, letting her know she needed to spend some time at our home this coming weekend before the trip to engage with us and talk with him.  Her answer, "?" and "I have engaged with (both of you)..."  then said she was simply too busy all weekend. Her comment about engagement is laughable because she hasn't spoken one word to me in a year and I think her idea of "engagement" is DH being in her presence. He then replied, directly "Do you want to come on this trip?"  Zero reply - her other texts were close together.

Then BM texts him, "We should talk tomorrow."  So she went running to mommy.  Again.

He's done I think.  Said that he couldn't take it any more and doesn't see how this whole situtation (not just the trip) will ever be resolved and he realizes that the time they spent together last weekend was her simply placating him, not for their relationship but to basically shut him up.  GOOD for him.

DH has a script worked out to talk with BM.  I hope he sticks with it - I think he should do it in writing, but his choice.  Leave out his feelings, emotions, focus on how OSDs behavior does not warrant her spending time with us nor does it bode well for our trip in the first place.  Therefore, she's not going.

We also learned yesterday that SD13 is refusing to come to our home the day before we leave because BM can help her pack and someone will drop her at the airport to meet us.  I susupect BM all over this one.  DH is owed time, it's HIS trip, she should be here the night before we leave so we can all leave together as we are travelling together.  DH asked me what he should do and I said, he needs to figure that out NOT me.

After the text exchanges last night I told DH that he might want to consider the fact that now SD13 might not come either.  She'll be at BM's who has ultimate control over SD's time the night before/travel morning.  If he says no to SD15, SD13 might well back out too - due to pressure at BMs.  He thinks also this is a real possibility.

While he threatened to cancel the trip altogether, I told him whatever happens with SDs, you will know where you stand. We can go ourselves, have a wonderful time anyway, visit London, his family, relax. And he never has to take them on another trip again...