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Today I bid on a safe on eBay...

cornflower's picture

Two years ago, Sweet (my Dear Husband) found some of my jewellery in my stepdaughter's over-night bag.

Since then, various other pieces of my jewellery and other small mementos have gone missing! SD9 has also been known to shoplift. (With her Mother allowing her to keep the goods!!)

They have not been bringing overnight bags for a little while now (their Mother has been insisting we provide all clothing for them while they are with us, although legally that should come from Child Support). I was going through their bags before they left, but with no bags there is nothing to go through.

Who knows where my jewellery and other things are. Some of them were family heirlooms which I wanted to pass down to my own children (when and if I have them!)

I really hope a safe slows down the sticky-fingered ones, it's just such a shame they have become so adept at it at such a young age.

Comments

Dawn-Moderator's picture

Hi, Cornflower and Welcome!

My stepson used to smuggle things from our house to his mom's house. It was mostly things that were his here but were supposed to stay here. He would sneak video games in his pocket, bag or backpack and then sneak them into his mom's house. He did the reverse as well. However, I always busted him when he tried to bring something into our house from his mom's house. I am very, very observant!

It stinks though, when you feel like you can't trust the kid.

We haven't had any shoplifting, thank goodness!!

Dawn

smcpaw's picture

I'm sure the safe will be a deterrent, but it might also spark further interest as to what is in there. I have had some of my personal items disappear, i.e., a pair of corduroy pants (my stepdaughter and I wear the same size), a brown pair of shoes (same size), one of my favorite CDs, and I think I might even be missing some undergarments (maybe the washer ate them). It's sad to think you can't trust someone, but we now are in the habit of locking our bedroom door when we are not home. I think though that children taking their personal belongings to and from their different houses is a normal thing. I understand that the person who bought them would like them to stay at their house, but I think when kids are restricted, they rebell. Maybe the deal could be that they can bring their personal belongings back and forth, so long as they come back. That way, the child won't feel like he/she is being punished and not allowed to use his/her things whenever they want.

Good luck with the safe.

Dawn-Moderator's picture

Unfortunately, bringing things back and forth just doesn't work. Things are always either lost, broken or he just doesn't remember to bring them back. Then he doesn't get to play with them anyway.

Biomom's house is unorganized and generally messy. She also has a two year old and they don't put stepson's stuff up so she can't get them.

Yes, in a perfect world my stepson should be able to bring things back and forth. However, stepson's world at his mom's house is somewhat less than perfect. Besides, he has plenty to play with at both houses.

Not to mention, that he didn't ask to take these things and then tried to lie about it. I still think that there are some things missing from my stepson's room. Now, after so much time has passed, he says he doesn't remember what he did with them or where they are.

Ultimately, my stepson would just like to have a friend to play with when he visits his mom but he is never outside enough to meet anyone. Also, the friends that he plays with here, don't want to get involved with biomom's weird living arrangement.

Dawn

cornflower's picture

Go missing from here too. And never come back. We would be buying them new outfits and shoes every weekend we had them if we let the clothes go home.

BM has sent SD9 dressed in only sweatpants and singlet, barefoot, in the middle of winter to force us to provide clothing. The kids would take the clothes home and they would never come back. We were told they were "in the wash" or something.

So we no longer let them take clothes home or wear the clothes from here home. They go home in what they came in.

I've purchased my SS12 5 pairs of Boxer Shorts this year so far, but there are only two pairs left in his drawer now. I will not be buying any more, he will need to wash out the ones he came in on Friday nights to wear on Saturdays once the remaining ones are smuggled away. He will hate that, but I think he needs to feel some consequences to this behaviour!

Thanks for your responses.. I think the safe is going to help, at least my peace of mind if nothing else!

Stepmalla's picture

My stepdaughter stole a very precious piece of jewelry from me. She said she did not, but her father and I both know she did. She's been caught stealing by her mother before; she doesn't know we know, but we do.

I now keep all jewelry in the safe.

Videos, etc. go missing -- but I don't really care about those. The financial documents, all valuables are LOCKED UP when the kids visit. It's sad that it's necessary, but it is...I feel for you.