You are here

I let BM2 know that I know

Cooooookies's picture

Silence and taking the high road, be damned.  I have been silent for 8 years and this POS never stops. Now, don't get me wrong, it probably changed nothing.  However, I always get the feeling that she plays her games and thinks DH hides everything from me.  WRONG.

So I sent her a nice long message.  Basically stating that I don't care that her and DH have a past.  We all do, you guys used to be married and in love, etc.  That's fine, I have no problem with that.  I have no problem that you're parents to the same child.  That has never been my issue.  My issue is that you contact DH all the time for stuff that is completely unrelated to SS.  I would love to get along with you, as I do BM1.  It's easier, it's simple and I actually enjoy her company.

However you.....and I listed loads of things.  Things that happened when I first moved here, things she sent just about a month or so ago.  And EVERYTHING in between.  I'm no priest - I wasn't looking for any confessions.  Lawd knows these BPD/bipolar/golden uterus psychos are never wrong, of course.  I just wanted her to know that I KNOW.  DH doesn't hide stuff from me.  About an hour later I sent her one line using her quote of "my f*cking ugly face".  Just to let her know that I'd seen that too.

Her responses were just as I thought, deny deny deny.  They weren't as hostile or angry as I'd guessed though.  Kinda hard, I guess, when loads of ugly truths are listed.  The one thing she focused on was the knickers in the laundry basket incident.  She simply had NO IDEA what I was talking about.  Suuuuuuuuuuureeee.

In the end I simply said that I don't care about your past with DH, just stop nosing in our present.  Stop with the crazy games and we're good.  Have a good night.  She ended it with another denial about the knickers and said have a good night too.

F the damn silent high road.  I told DH she will get messages from me in future.  Not because I think she'll change but so that she knows that I know.  She knows now that you show me her non-sense.  It will slow her down for a little while.  Maybe, like her fb, since she knows I see stuff, she won't send such ridiculous crap.

Stay tuned, though.  I'm sure there will be more....but damn it felt good anyway.

Dirol

Comments

Exjuliemccoy's picture

I bet that rocked her back on her heels. Good for you. Sometimes, keeping the crazy off balance is a useful strategy.

justmakingthebest's picture

Women like that don't do well with direct confrontation and being called out for their actions. I am sure that she will continue to deny anything else she does. "Someone must have messed with her phone" or some other excuse will be next 

Wacko

hereiam's picture

BPD/bipolar/golden uterus psychos like to think they are the smartest, and that they always have the upper hand. Sometimes, it's good to let them know different.

dysfunctionally_blended's picture

Been there done that Smile

Did it feel good? Yes! Did it work to stop the crazy? No Sad

Feedback is like fuel to their fire. She will definitely stir for a short time until she figures out her next tactic. And the vicious cycle continues. 

Want to know how to stop it?

1. Set clear boundaries. DH deals with BM entirely and only responds regarding skids. 

2. Your home is a BM free zone.

3. You own BM nothing. 

4. Follow the CO exactly. 

5. Never respond to BM. This is key! No contact. Block her number. Block on social media. Block everywhere. To people like this no contact hits them where it hurts. In the attention seeking gut.

6. Never respond to others regarding BM. Skids will try to play her dirty work. In laws. Strangers. Common friends. Each time someone tries to goad you into a conversation about her simply say 'wow the weather today is blah blah blah'. No reaction just a random comment.

It has been years for me. I have zero issues with HCBM because I just don't care. I have been in that fire back mode and it did nothing but help her gain a foothold. Now she has nothing. At all. Yes she tries with skids and yes they continue to do her dirty work. Won't speak to me, give snide looks or comments. But it's laughable. They HATE my happiness. I hum and sing and go out and enjoy friends and hobbies and my SO while they sit in their dark rooms and brood.

Take back your spot at the top and don't let anyone tip you off into their crazy pot :) 

Kes's picture

Well good for you, I bet it felt great to just let her have it both barrels.  I would have LOVED to have done that, down the years, just tell NPD BM what I thought about her behaviour to us.  

Although I have never done that with NPD BM, I have started telling it like it is to the SDs, and I have let DH know that I will NEVER sit quietly again when I am being abused, no matter what it costs me, or him, or his relationship with his daughters.  I started by last October, telling SD24 exactly what I thought of how she'd behaved in the past.  And will do again, should the need arise.  No more Mrs Nice Guy, no more Mrs Stepford wife.  

Cooooookies's picture

Thank you everyone.  I've been at work and just came home.

Like Kes said, I'm tired of being the obedient nice guy who stays silent.  It has and will never shut her up or make her stop so why should I take it quietly?  I know it will never stop her and she'll deny anything but she knows that I know.  I guarantee she HATES the fact that DH doesn't hide all of her shenanigans.

Was it right?  Probably not.  I know the best method is to Ignore The Wh*re.  But dammit if I just couldn't eat another ounce of b.s. in silence.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Oh, Cooooookies....

 

I am so envious!!!!!!!!!!!!! You know that I would absolutely luuuuuuurrrrrrvvvv to do that to BioHo. I never did reply to her 'cn we tlk' message. And DH and I have been 2 ships passing in the night because work has been total suckage this week.

Cheers! Drinks

Cooooookies's picture

Awwwe Aniki... go for it! It might not change much but man does it feel amazing!

Drinks