Aaaaaand the poo saga continues
SS13 hid yesterday's underpants in an empty shoe box in his room. He's due to come home from school in about 5 minutes. DH will confront him...for the 457th time in the last year. I'm so sick of this.
His screens are taken away, he scrubs his own underpants, writes sentences. Running out of consequences.
I really reallyyyyy need to learn to like drinking more...
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Medical has been ruled out.
Medical has been ruled out. DH took him to the doctor just the other week. If it was a twisted bowel or something, SS would have pains, discomfort or even vomit. He has no pain, no fevers, no bodily distress of any sort. So it's not medical.
Not sure about pull-ups, they might enable it as he'd feel less dirty with those on.
It's just a flippin' nightmare.
Oh no that's awful! I hope
Oh no that's awful! I hope it's not too infested, nasty things.
Yes well I would've handed
Yes well I would've handed way more severe consequences a LONG time ago but I'm only the lowly SM. What would I know *eyeroll*
All he does is fidget, brings
All he does is fidget, brings on tears and keeps repeating "I don't knowwwww"
OMG TO THE LETTER of what YSS
OMG TO THE LETTER of what YSS said (the house shitter)!!!
Clearly an anger/control mechanism.
In my day, a few swift wallops on the behind would cure this INSTANTLY at a much younger age!
My thoughts are with you.
My thoughts are with you. It's pooper weekend for me too.
Perhaps we should both start
Perhaps we should both start hosing down our respective skids!
He better be showering that
He better be showering that child, as soon as they arrive. Otherwise they can visit in the garden! Not in my house or on my furniture. 10 minutes and the problem is solved gaaaah!
But they just took all of his
But they just took all of his games and stuff away.. so why is he still pooping?? Is he all out crapping his pants, or is it more like a shart? ya know.. like he means to toot, but it ends up being a bit more than that?? I just can't picture a 13 year old sitting there making a conscience decision to shit himself??? Is he medicated? Could it have something to do with meds??
Yes there has been trauma in
Yes there has been trauma in the past that is the wreck of BM2. She literally dumped SSthen5 on DH's doorstep and proceeded a nasty divorce and spent all her time with the new (and still with now) BF. This was after she took him to Canada for 6 months.
But this was years ago. SS has a normal steady family life with DH and I since summer of 2012. He's been clean until about March of last year. There's no trauma anymore and he's been clean so I don't see a reason now.
Well except for the fact that he became a porn and screen addict so now it's I think it's breaking a very nasty habit.
But it worked. He's going to
But it worked. He's going to get picked on at school eventually I'm guessing. I mean you stand next to him and he stinks! Maybe he needs a mega embarrassing moment to sort this out.
The irony is that the kids
The irony is that the kids who point out his stink will be punished for "bullying"
Hello Coooookies, my fellow
Hello Coooookies, my fellow sister of sh!t
SS11 also has not stopped pooping his pants.
Usually he just sits in it and marinates, but now he has taken to removing his poopy underwear, putting it in his wastebasket, going commando, then pooping AGAIN and getting it all in his jeans and sometimes it even falls OUT!!!
I am gagging as I am writing this.
This is just one reason out of 261,383 reasons that I do NOT live with my SO. No house shitter in MY house. No way.
Please do provide an update to what your DH does/doesn't do.
When he's being power washed
When he's being power washed outside - have your DH clean him out with an enema. }:)
I got nothing. What a
I got nothing. What a nightmare. Maybe a colonic?
scheduled poo time like every
scheduled poo time like every hour on the hour (must sit for 10 mins each time), and also a 5000 sentence writing assignment "i will not be lazy, i will use the toilet properly." (all written out, and not i i i i i will will will will not not not not not be be be be be lazy lazy lazy lazy)?????
oooo that's a good one
oooo that's a good one too.
just watch out for all the self-righteous people "how dare you shame him"...
Uggghhhh that's the
Uggghhhh that's the worst.
SD5 goes through periods where she just up and decides she isn't going to wipe anymore. I kid you not she has given herself diaper rash about 4 times because she doesn't wipe for so long.
The CPS worker told me that was normal. Ummm.....no you frigging moron, that is not normal. A child deciding they dont' want to wipe on occasion? That's probably normal. Giving themselves diaper rash multiple times? That is not normal.
He decides that it's not
He decides that it's not important to go or holds it in or whatever he thinks and then gets constipated. He then gets so backed up that he leaks. Then hides his underpants and marinates in it for hours. No medical cause so we're at a loss as to why a 13 year old sits in his own feces.
How does he not have a raging
How does he not have a raging diaper rash? Good grief, I am so sorry. You are a better woman than me.
I'm so sorry, what a sh*tt^
I'm so sorry, what a sh*tt^ situation to deal with.
My first thought is, "What is ss getting out of it?" The behavior would not continue unless he is getting some attention (albeit negative) from pooping in his underwear. Does this happen at school or is he only unable to control his bowels at home?
2 cents: My first thought is, as long as he doesn't share a room with a sibling to just ignore the hidden underwear. Soon enough as a natural consequence he'll run out of underwear. Then he'll either have to wash them himself or go commando. If he starts sh*ttin@ himself with no underwear on it'll ooze down his leg, into his shoes...well you get the picture. If he does share a room with a sibling then just throw the underwear away and don't say anything about it. Same thing, soon he'll run out of unders. It'll be a natural consequence and completely up to him to face, fix and figure out.
There's some weird Fruedian s#*t (sorry for the pun) going on here for attention. Don't give it to him. Attention = Reward in a sick twisted way.
**Note: I was in family therapy for a dd who self harmed and hid it. I had to work really hard on not overreacting thus rewarding her destructive behavior. I know your situation is different (poo instead of blood) but there is an element of sameness.
Drinking is good. To calm my nerves I went through a lot of red wine during dd's teen years.
DH made it clear that he will
DH made it clear that he will not get any screens back ever until he is clean as only babies poop themselves and babies don't play xbox. Made him wash out his underwear and then write more sentences. Maybe he is going for attention in some weird way. I'll bring that up with DH. Though I'm not sure how ignoring it will be of any consequence. The little grossburger would be just as happy going commando. Thanks for all your ideas and well wishes. I'm going to bed now and will dream of far away skidless lands!
WTF !!! any child
WTF !!! any child defecating in his pants at that age,, has severe psychological problems. He needs help not a power wash...
I'm in the same boat. SS10,
I'm in the same boat. SS10, who has severe ADHD, has been pooping, well... I guess he was never fully potty trained. He's had all the medical exams under the sun, for many years. It's not a physical problem. Experts said it was "behavioral".
You have my compassion, it can really ruin everyone's life, this thing. It's incredibly embarassing as he just stews in his own poop, oblivious to his smell. I'm scared to do their laundry, because I've ended up a turd in the hand. My BS4, ended up picking up a turd off the floor when he was 1. My SD13 ended up stepping in poop in our neighbors kiitchen during a party--it was SS10's poop.
Here's what is sort of working for us now:
1. He HAS to sit on the pot right after breakfast, and then at lunch time. If he does this, he does not have an accident. I'm disengaging now, so he's having more accidents because, well, I'm tired of being the poop patrol.
2. He looses all screen time (electronics and TV) if he hides any poop. He's not punished for pooping, but he's VERY punished for hiding poop in the house.
3. I avoid giving him anything with fructose. Unfortunately MIL and FIL are too dumb to do this, so there's more accidents there.
4. He's getting embarrassed because SS4 is now fully potty trained, so he is making more of an effort.
5. We don't give it attention anymore. If he has an accident, he has to deal with it, but we're not talking about it anymore.
I think this was a negative-attention seeking thing which turned into a bad habit. This was NOT caused by the divorce or by any bad parenting. The ADHD was so severe at one point, that he would actually get up off the pot while he was mid-poo. Also, his BM really craves negative attention, and the apple didn't fall far from the tree.