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Constant Struggle......

Confusedstepmom_73's picture

Seeking advice.....My boyfriends 9 year old princess is so jealous and disrespectful towards me.  I have been in her life for 3 years and I'm not going anywhere, but she seems to think that the more she pushes and plays me against her dad I will walk away.  Some days I get so exhausted trying to ignore her antics I feel I just can't any more.  When all is finally calm for the night most times I retreat to the bedroom and just cry in frustration.  

Comments

beebeel's picture

So your boyfriend is so oblivious to your moods that he doesn't even know you are crying alone on the regular, or he doesn't care. Either way, he doesn't sound like much of a catch. He doesn't respect you, which is why he allows his kid to be disrespectful.

Confusedstepmom_73's picture

No it's not that way....he drives over the road  He comes home Friday evening and is gone again on Sunday.  He talks to her over the phone and such and she agrees to do what she is told and then it turns into a different story.  When he gets home and things get talked about she says "I miss my mom"  and that's why she acts that way.  She plays her dad like a violin and he falls for it.  I feel like I should be able to handle this stuff but sometimes I just get tired.  

blayze's picture

It’s a tough road that you’ve chosen. So you’re present for this girl more than both of her parents combined? You’re miserable because you’re being used. This man has a daughter and instead of getting a job in which he would be home every day, he pawns his child off on his GIRLFRIEND?

Why, as a girlfriend, are you okay with that? What are you getting out of a relationship in which you only see the guy for 48 hours and babysit his kid for the remainder of the week? 

You have choices...

Disneyfan's picture

Your BF needs to look for a new job.  His current job is not compatible with his responsibilities as a single father.  Even if the kid were the perfect child, you should be tasked with his parenting responsibilities.

SteppedOut's picture

I'm not sure what your back story is, so forgive my questions. 

Where is sd bio mom? Why are you watching her if your boyfriend is gone for 5 days/nights? 

Do you work?

If bio mom is out of the picture, he definitely needs to get a different job that accomodates his daughter. What did your boyfriend do for care before you? If sd "lost" her bio mom, she is also regularly losing her dad while he is working... that has to be hard on a kid that age. Typically when kids are tired, sad, etc they act up.

Harry's picture

Has to get a job where he is home taking care of his DD.  Two. You have to put your foot down and set the tone with SD.  Either she respects you, or she is in her room 24/7.  You let this nonsense continue!