I wonder how much we contribute to our own madness...
Last night I couldn't sleep. I had a terrible headache and my nose was stuffy to the point of misery.
I went to the kitchen and contemplated taking Nyquil but thought it best not to because I'd be groggy to the point of not functional by the time I had to get up in 5 hours in order to drop my own children off along with my three stepdaughters at each one of their schools.
I went back to the bedroom and my husband lay awake and asked what was wrong... I rattled off all my ailments and my unhappiness with not being able to take some Nyquil ~ the nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, fever, best sleep you ever got with a cold - medicine.
"But other than that, everything's fine?" 
He was being funny, but as I lay back down with his oversized and gentle hand on my back, and I felt the cool of his wedding ring against my fevered skin... that yes, in that moment, everything was fine.
His ex is a raving bitch.
I used to pray for resolution, justice, and escape from the wrath of the Evil One. But just like my darned persistent runny nose, she isn't going anywhere anytime soon.
It's these moments that I see that even though he is riddled with a life sucking beast of a woman doing all she can to make sure that everyone around her is as miserable as her... that I am still here madly in love. That this is what love is. For better or worse. Sickness and Health.
That when I'm keeping him up in the middle of the night complaining about my achy head that he still will love me with his gentle hands and excercise patience even though he too needed to be up in a few hours. Listening and understanding, completely powerless over any of it.
It doesn't have to be as hard as I seem to make it sometimes. 
- Colorado Girl's blog
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Comments
aww your post made me smile
aww your post made me smile and feel some extra love for my dh
Good.
Good.
I have a story about letting
I have a story about letting go.
What happens when we do not let go? Asians have a very clever trap for catching monkeys. People hollow out a coconut, put something sweet in it, and cut a hole in the bottom of the coconut just big enough for the monkey to slide its open hand in, but not big enough for the monkey to withdraw its hand as a fist. They attach the coconut to the tree, and the monkey comes along and gets trapped. What keeps the monkey trapped? Only the force of desire, of clinging, of attachment. All the monkey has to do is let go of the sweet, open its hand, slip it out, and be free. But only a very rare monkey will do that.
Joseph Goldstein, Transforming the Mind, Healing the World
I, too, am also a wine fan.
DH and I are up to at least a
DH and I are up to at least a bottle a night… I think that the Beatles had it wrong… “Happiness” is a warm merlot (not gun).
Colorado Girl… good to see you again girl! Thank you for the warm fuzzies on a long Monday afternoon!
Good to see you too!!
Good to see you too!!
I agree, as much as the
I agree, as much as the issues at times seem to be overwhelming it's very comforting to know you have the love of a man that is wonderful in a billion ways, and that sometimes those are the things saome qualities that make him vulnerable to bm wrath and bitterness. Not to mention, manipulation!!! Nevertheless, it's the best feeling to know the man of your dreams is laying with you. And.....one day down this twisted road when kids are grown & bm no longer has a reason to talk to FH you will both start a journey of your own! I'm so looking forward to that day!
Don't let your hope of
Don't let your hope of tomorrow rob you of today.
My mom told me as a young, exhausted mother of only 18 as I was wishing that my newborn son was a little bit older and easier to handle... "Don't ever wish his babyhood away..."
I wish that I would have spent more time in the right now, absorbing all that was going on around me instead of wishing for another day when I thought I'd be happier. If only...
How much time I've wasted wishing on stars....
And what I wouldn't give to go back to the day when my son smelled of baby lotion and I could feel his soft hair against my face.
Now he smells like a boy's locker room most of the time and does a ninja move to escape his mama's arms.
Child support isn't forever.
Child support isn't forever. Always remember that.
beautiful post!! as dh is
beautiful post!! as dh is not getting "what's wrong" with me today... he came up behind and me and rubbed my shoulders and a sore muscle in my back.... just b/c he loves me!!
or b/c he knows what's wrong and is trying to skate around it, little devil! }:)
He just knows his wife when
He just knows his wife when she needs a backrub. Who cares why?
I too wondered this a couple
I too wondered this a couple of weeks ago and posted something to this effect...
I went to a seminar once on how to deal with difficult people and the anology the speaker used was: you're in a hurry to get somewhere and you get stuck behind the 94 year old granny driving 20 miles under the speed limit and no place to pass in sight. You get madder and madder, and when you finally do get the chance to pass her, you glare at her, call her names, flip her the bird and whatever else you can think of to get your point across.... but does granny care? No, she's in her own little world, thinking about her knitting class, or her grandkids or whatever grannys think about. So you just elevated your blood pressure to epic proportions, acted like a raging lunatic and got what out of it?????
It made me think... all the times I get furious with BM or Skids for their stupid antics... do they really care? Probably not, they go on about their annoying existence in their own little world and I am the only one who's day got ruined.
I wish I could say I don't get mad anymore, because I DO, but I really try to think of this story and not let their nonsense get me so riled anymore.
How very true is that!! You
How very true is that!!
You are never going to be able to make them give a rat's bum if they are ruining your day.
So why bother being upset that they don't.
I don’t know if anyone here
I don’t know if anyone here seriously got into “Lost” when it was on, but DH and I just finished the last season on DVD this weekend… and I gotta say it was pretty emotional.
The gist of the whole show seemed to be this collection of souls who couldn’t find peace and “let go” without connecting with one another and working through their past demons. In watching it I started to really miss my family and dear friends that I gave up to move away with DH… started to almost regret my decision to leave people I grew to love more than myself, started wondering if I’d made a grand mistake walking away from people I considered to be “soul mates” in the most literal sense of the word… and then I look over at DH and laugh! Cause I know that I’d live 100 lifetimes to spend just one day with him!
I love those moments…
Maybe change your perception
Maybe change your perception just a little bit??
Instead of seeing it as "giving up" people to move away with your husband...
It just sounds so sacrificial and puts expectations on the person you did it "for". He doesn't make you happy... you make yourself happy in his presence.
So look at it instead as "moving away" from people who will always be special to you... in order to spend as many moments as you can with someone you adore.
It's okay to miss them but it's okay to move forward... spending time reminiscing not mourning.
New friends are to be made. New lifetime ones and passing thru ones too. How exciting!!
The love that we have for
The love that we have for them and them for us is the only thing that keeps us going. If there was no love all of us would be divorced and not on this site venting and trying to keep it together.
I had the same thing happen the other day. My husband gave me a hug and it was like all the annoying things went away. It might've been for a moment but we need those little things.
It might've been for a moment
It might've been for a moment but we need those little things.
Otherwise we forget what we're even fighting for.
LOVE THIS. You are so right
LOVE THIS. You are so right on, CG.
Extra love for my DH today
When you feel better, we'll
When you feel better, we'll have to get him some pie from Timmy. I'm so glad you and your DH worked so hard to figure things out. You're both amazing people and I'm so glad to call you friends.
And, there's nothing like your guy's comforting presence when you feel icky. Timmy came up and slept on the floor next to the recliner I was sleeping in at my parents even though my mom offered to make my brother's bed for him after I got my tonsils out a few weeks ago. He held my hand all night when I had been getting sick all the day before. I think the only reason I slept that night is because he held my hand.
I heart Timmy.
I heart Timmy.