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kissing stepdads on the lips

COCHINA's picture

Hi I need help. My daughters 4 and 5 do not see their Bio dad, I have a fiance whom has been in our lives for 1 1/2 years. My kids call him dad. My kids kiss him on the lips, at bed time or when ever, never anything innapropriote. He picked them up from school and gave them a kiss hello and the teacher went crazy, saying this was innapropriate. Said it is child abuse on my part. Please help.. What are ur thoughts..

Comments

libby's picture

Child Abuse - Excuse my language I would of popped the Bitch.

Some people dont agree with it - some people do - each there own.

But child abuse come on....That is as bad as the little baby in the bathtub pictures

COCHINA's picture

i know what a bitch.. Ithen she said something like if other people saw that they would call social services, its innapropriate, i was schoked my fam is so affectionate, i am 29 still kiss my dad on the lips..

DISbelief's picture

31 and still kiss my dad on the lips... If I were you, I would have told her what she could KISS!!! MY A$$!

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ ; )

COCHINA's picture

ha ha i love it ... thats so true, then she wants to say her 4 yo granddaughter doesnt kiss her on the lips either, poor lady, she is such a bit**!!

libby's picture

Soon to be 34 and still kiss my dad on the lips

Both my BD kiss me,DH, and grandparents on the lips

My SD kiss me and my DH on the lips

My SS just gives me a chest bump and a high 5

Whatever floats everyones boat.

But to call it child abuse? come on

RustyHalo's picture

That sounds ridiculous to me!! My skids are girls (8 and 10) and they kiss me on the lips at bedtime. Sometimes, it's a peck on the cheek from me, but they certainly call the shots on this one. The skids choose where the kisses go, not me.

**my stepdaughters did not grow in my tummy, they grew in my heart**

Squillion's picture

Your teacher is a boob.

Closed mouth pop kisses are perfectly acceptable.

What a jerk.

Totalybogus's picture

I would be calling the superintendent of schools and reporting her.

COCHINA's picture

thank you so much i am so freaked out this lady is always threatinging me. This a private school and maybe i should talk to her boss.

Totalybogus's picture

That's what I would do and I certainly wouldn't be nice about it especially since you PAY for your child to attend that school.

I would be so idignent about this that I would tell the Principal that I planned on speaking to other parents and might even entertain withdrawing my child from their school. Money talks.

MeanOleMe's picture

ITA!! This was WAY out of line!

"I will not take responsibility, where I do not have authority." ~ MeanOleMe

DISbelief's picture

Give me a break!

Your kids teacher is a moron. And WAY out of line. My kids kiss their aunts and uncles on the lips. Step and Bio... not to mention US and their grandparents. What a load of crap. I would ignore her. And if it goes to the "authorities" because in California, teachers suspect ANY kind of abuse they are REQUIRED by law to report it to the authorites... I would have a HAY DAY fighting that one to the bitter end!!!

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ ; )

LotusFlower's picture

While I definately don't think its child abuse, I do think its just creepy...but again...I work in law enforcement, and I guess I am just hyper-sensitive based upon my personal experiences and what I have seen with non-bios kissing skids on the lips...I would never kiss any of my skids or bio kids (if I had any) on the lips....but that's me....but in our family we do not kiss on the lips anyway....maybe I'm unpopular, but I could see how she would think its creepy...but again,.,,,I don't feel its abuse...its just based upon culture and how u were raised I guess... we were raised that lip kissing is for people u are intimate with......just another perspective...

A mother is not defined by the "b" or the "s" in front of her name, she is defined by how she handles the "mother" part.....

Conflicted's picture

First thing that came to my mind is that this teacher was sexually abused by someone and is as a result hyper-sensitive.... I would report her to the superintendent as suggested above.

stepmom2one's picture

I would too. My son is 3 and we peck on the lips--he does with his father, sister, grandparents, my BILs......it is normal. I mean at 4 and 5 to say it is child abuse is waaayyyy out of line. Did she say this in front of the kids? She could have scared them!! Make them think that you can not be affectionate in public--with your parents! I would call this in ASAP!!

yesican's picture

My daughter was sexually abused at daycare when she was younger. She sometimes kisses me on the lips, but I have never really noticed her doing it DH. But ultimately I feel it is her choice. I believe it is what is comfortable for each individual, no one is either wrong or right. I personally don't feel comfortable kissing sd's on the lips, but I do kiss them on the cheek and encourage them to do the same with me.

I totally disagree with the teacher, it is not abuse!!! I think the only way it would be considered abuse would be more than a kiss on the lips, or more in a sexual way, but a kiss on the lips can be very harmless, and obiviously your child feels that your dh is a father to her.

I also agree that this needs to be taken to the principal. This teacher so not be trying to intimidate you in anyway.

...the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it. - The Lion King

Thetis's picture

Ok I'm alittle torn on this. My 3 year old SD has developed cold sores, which is usually transmitted by kissing on the lips. We have been trying to break her of this habbit now because we dont want her to give the virus to other children, children are the most suseptable to cold sores.
So thats my experience.
However, I do not see anything wrong with a father kissing his kids hello. Some families only kiss on the cheeks (mine did growing up) and some on the lips (my DH's did growing up). It is not a stranger's right to judge anyone on how they show affection.
I think this bitch is just bored, or jealous, and wants to make your life hell.

DISbelief's picture

Right...Teaching your kids not to kiss on the lips because of hygenic reasons is completely different than saying it is ABUSE. I have a friend that is a GERMaphobe... so she won't let her kids kiss ANYONE on the lips. Not even her. But she would never tell me that I am abusive because in our family we do. That is presumptuous and out of line.

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ ; )

TheBrightSide's picture

I've known my SD10 for 4 years. In the last 6 months she started kissing me on the lips goodbye or goodnight. The quick closed mouth peck that she does to her parents when she says goodbye or goodnight. It was right about the time she started to say "I Love You" to me.

I'd arrange a face to face meeting with teacher and her superior to set it straight. I wouldn't deal with her without her superior in the room.

foxxystep's picture

shame maybe she was abused as a child, so she's getting flashbacks.... tell the woman to go to hell.