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Toxic Troll just CANNOT lay off and crawl under her rock!

CLove's picture

Im getting pretty upset as I emotionally prepare for todays celebration of life for my MIL.

MIL passed away Friday night after our Vigil and we had already gone home and were in bed when the call came.

Its been non-stop family gatherings and today is another one for the celebration of life and viewing.

So - I saw that Toxic Trol had posteda  lovely photo (that she stole from a FB family member) and included the following text:

"My beautiful mom in law went to Heaven. I regret not spending more time with her. She would call me to come for Christmas and other parties after I divorced her son, but I didnt go bc I didnt want to cause trouble with my exes wife...

I love you Mom and I know you are watching over...

Im happy you are with the love of your life....

Thank you for being such a great Mom to me and a wonderful Lola to my children"

Yeah, the woman who cheated on her son, who abused her son, and who abused her chidlren as well as myself.

After she showed up a couple of evenings, SIL FINALLY said something to Feral Forger, and she didnt show for the final evening. She was invited ONCE by my MIL who has dementia. Once 2 years ago. I hate that she can act like shes such a loving sweet person, that I am this horrible person who prevented her deepening her relationship with her EXES FAMILY, FFS.

And this is after Munchkin insisted that "my moms good with you, shes really happy for you and dad and shes happy with everything!"

What a fecking b!tch.

I thought I ran out of "last straws". Nope. Thats it. No more nice.

 

Comments

Petronella's picture

So....what are you going to do? What's DH going to do? What does it mean, this is the last straw, no more nice? Has TT been told that she's not invited to the funeral? Does anyone have a plan for what to do if TT shows up at a private event? 

CLove's picture

Im just going to go to the viewing and celebration of life service, and stand by my man! Thats all I can really do. No throat punching or butt kicking allowed...

Knowing him, he wont say anything. Toxic Troll was told about the services etc, for her daughter's sake, but no one is generally kept from a service. All the rif raff are allowed. If she shows at a private event, I have no idea, but it wont be good, and it will probably go like the vigils did, when she texted DH or Munchkin she was on her way, DH and I would skedaddle, with his tail between his legs. I hated that.

Ive been really pretty mellow about things. I actually was thinking of sending some things over with Munchkin "to the other side". Havent been watching what I say around Munchkin, now I know that I really need to curtail myself. She has been super nosy and super in our business  "what were you guys talking about?"

Now, Im going to be MORE on my guard and might have to say something to the family about TT being invited to private events.

advice.only2's picture

So very sorry for you and your DH's loss. This is where you just have to block the wh@re on social media, the less you know the better. Being oblivious is a blessing.

Gimlet's picture

((hugs)) sweetie.

This isn't exactly the same but my sister has Borderline Personality and she's deluded like this too.  Very little of what she says about relationships is accurate, consistent, or sane.  

You can't make TT be anything other than the sad bag of disorder and dysfunction that she is.  What she says, does, and thinks is out of your control, and it also doesn't matter. 

You know who you are.  SD13 is going to have to observe and figure this out for herself, like my niece did, and I'd bet most of the other adults TT knows are aware that she's full of it.

You focus your energy on taking good care of you.  Push back if she crosses your boundaries, but try not to let her delusions get to you.  She's not worth the head space.

CLove's picture

Everyone has been gathering EVERY SINGLE NIGHT for the past week since last Tuesday. I wonder if "Funeral Fatigue" is a thing?

MIL really WAS such a sweetie pie. Welcomed everyone and at the end she had some dementia. She would kiss my cheek and tell me she loves me. LOL.

You are giving my advice back to me! When Munchkin gets upset about Feral Forger and her continually getting what she wants from people, I tell her the same thing. Just be your amazing self, and you will rise so far above her that you wont even be able to see her.

Gimlet's picture

I would be emotionally wrung out just from the gatherings.  That's a lot.  

There is no one or right way to mourn, and it's ok if you want or need to do it quietly and alone sometimes.

bananaseedo's picture

That seems like a lot to me too. Some people are ok with that, others are not.  Because my FIL had a LOT of students here he taught and family out of town, it became a little much but not over the top. He had a very sudden death.  We had viewing then a celebration of life service here, then his family drove w/his ashes to his home state to have him join his parents burial plot there, so another small funeral service (I wasn't at that one).

For my father, we decided against a viewing (I honestly just cannot wrap my head around it and find it VERY emotionally heavy).  He passed from cancer, so our family had also been spending night after night helping him transition to the other side you could say...and THAT was the hardest thing in our entire lives to be honest-we were exhausted by then.  We cremated him (his wishes also) and did a celebration of life and the burial of ashes at the veterans cemetery-with a short funeral procession before it. 

Yeah, she sounds like our bm- she even posted on FB about his death before we had a chance to tell anyone in person...and made it ALL about her-showed up to the viewing ALL day/evening...blah blah- loved him so much- just BS lies.  They are disgusting trolls hon....horrible!

 

CLove's picture

She was there a long time ago - so I guess she figures she has her "rights".

Well, rights are now terminated, with MIL's passing.

I dont give an eff about her "Dna hooks", not anymore.

somethingwicked's picture

The deathof MIL closed a chapter. TT is a delusional sack of filth who is never going to accept or realise her part in the drama ,the detrimental effects upon her bio children and all the f_ckery she brought to your DH and to you as well.She does not care because she has not the capacity for self reflection ,self assessment ,compassion ask forgiveness and lacks the ability to find fault in herself.In other words she is a narc and a very damaged POS person. 

The only recourse you have ,hon,is to let all this go: your anger towards the past pot stirring and all the crazy she brought.

The family KNOWS what and who she is.

You do not have to defend yourself or try to separate or delineate yourself from that putrid HO-BAG. Everyone who matters KNOWS she is trash. So you take the high road and step over that b!tch and hold your head up and keep going on  in life because YOU HAVE one.She does not.

Good luck to you,Clove .Grieve well ,be there  for the people that matter and ignore that miserable HO.

 

Gimlet's picture

"She does not care because she has not the capacity for self reflection ,self assessment ,compassion ask forgiveness and lacks the ability to find fault in herself."

This is correct 

And I 100 percent get the desire to set the record straight.  I spent years doing that because the narrative is insane and damn it, it's wrong.  The problem is that their perception is reality and that reality is fuzzy as hell.  In the end, it only upset and exhausted me because of the above statement.

CLove's picture

I am very angry right now, because apparently 2 of my SIL's have been reaching out to Toxic Troll. Why? I have no idea but its stressing me out.

Crspyew's picture

Your FB account in heaven?  I cannot understand people posting messages to the departed. Do u need a ouji board to see if they "like" the post?

i loathe social media for behaviors like this.

Aniki's picture

I'm sorry, sweetie 

Who has access to MIL to delete TT's and FF's contact info? 

CLove's picture

Some of the family are FB friends with Toxic Troll still, after all the drama and abuse.

In fact Munchkin alerted me that a WIFE had given my SIL Toxic Trolls new phone number. To keep in tuoch? To invite her to gatherings? IDK. I figure its just in case anything happens to DH, they want a connection for kids sake.

I hate that. The "DNA hooks".

 

ctnmom's picture

TT is such a jerk. I find any drama around funerals/death to be cheap and trashy. Just support your DH through this, and as others have said, block her. She deserves none of your headspace.