The totally (non) romantic (non) vacation of CLove, and her man
Whelp. Happy Monday I am so glad you are here!
The vacation started out great. We lazed around until the last minute and then a flurry of packing (on my list of what NOT to do next time). SD15 Backstabber-now-refered to as Munchkin Wife, was all packed up early. She seemed excited and happy and on best behavior the whole day before.
We had a friend who would come over and take care of the dragon, two rabbits, cat and dog. He hangs out ever week so everyone knows him well by now anyway. Nice chap.
So our itinerary was such that we would drive 8 hours, get set up in our hotel room-for-the-day and drop DH off to the docks for his overnight fishing trip that would start at 8 pm.
Drove down through 100 degree dry heat. Traffic. Get to our destination and its wam muggy and overcast. Dh started complaining "no sun!" and it was 75 degrees. SD15 starts complaining too, about overcast "Im probably going to be BORED with no sun!!!" like the perfect little parrot.
Traffic trafficand more traffic. Dh continues his complaining about missing his big fishing trip. We check into hotel, nice valet takes our luggage to room and we zoom off to docks. I drop him off with 45 minutes to spare. stickle bur Munchkin Wife sticks to his side like they are glued together "what are you doing, when will you be back here...?" etc.
We get to the hotel and check out the room with partial ocean view. Sd15 oohs and aaahs and then gets her electronics set up to start her texting. I ask if shes ready for dinner, she is and we start walking the super crowded board walk. I know the area because I lived there for 15 years, its a college/resort town so lots of people. We find a Thai place and shes open to trying a few things. I order, she picks at her food, I eat my pile theres plenty of leftovers and I just say "ok, so if you are hungry later, you have something!" We conk out immediately.
Next morning I let her sleep in, get some coffee and walk around. We go for breakfast bagels and head for our snorkel tour, which we were really excited about. It was the "skark encounter". shes never snorkeled before and I have extensively so I was sure that things would work out ok. Boy was I wrong! We got there late, and missed the tour. Got in our spring suits anyway, got our equipment and went out anyway. She threw up once and freaked out over the fins, so we went in. the whole time I told her she could stop and it was ok. She wanted to try again. No sharks showed up. We went for a nice lunch somewhere and then rested at hotel. I picked up DH, and oohed and awed over the fish. Of course SD was stuck like glue to his side. Blah blah. Ok, normal stuff. I guess.
Went to hotel, with fish. DH got a shower and was super hungry so we went for something togo, because all restaurants were full with lines, and super super crowded. He had to have steak. So, I searched around and found ONE place with steak in the whole town. Got Sd a full meal of something, which she never ate. There goes a 30$ meal. I just had peices of steak and some apps. Didnt order a meal. Ok, well, thats fine we are on vacation right? Its normal to waste food. Its expected.
Spent the night with full ocean view, rested and tomorrows another day right? Saturday walk around, see things, buy things. SD stuck like glue, pushing in between us walking, me with hurting feet walking behind. We get lunch/brunch. SD gets an acai bowl, but picks at it because it wasnt what she expected. Ok, get me another margarita please! Its hot, the sun is out (yay, because otherwise we would be BORED) and now they are complaining because they are "cooking" its too sunny. We go out to the beach and hit the waves. That was fun actually. No one complaining. Just the normal "wheres dad? Whats he doing?" But we got some beach time, I taught her some water tricks. All good right? Oh no. Things are JUST about to get bad.
We are hungry. Ocean does that to you. I hear of a nice sushi place, with high recomendations (of course after we eat I get to hear how it wasnt any good...). We walk there, SD pushing in between us and them walking ahead of me leaving me behind. Last nights walk I said something like "hey dont leave me behind, my feet hurt and Im not in shape to walk fast in the dark". Tonight I stuffed it down but said something under my breath.
We get to the (super croweded) place and put our names in. SD sits there glued to DH. I say something like "WOW" and walk away, because at this point Im tired and hungry and just fed up with SD15 Munchkin Wife.
DH comes at me with guns blazing. "Thats just sickening how jealous you are of her!!!" (to sd) "Shes jealous of you sitting next to me." I responded with "you guys have been excluding me and walking ahead of me and gee Id like to sit next to my husband we are after all trying to celebrate our anniversary...but hey Im over it". Yep, folks he actually yelled at me in front of sd. I cant really blame her at this point its ALL him.
Im sickened in relating all this.
SD scooted over, and I did not even want to sit there next to him. He quieted down, and I did not even feel like eating, but I did. We all were on our best behavior, but quiet.
I insisted we take a walk together. We were going to hash this out.
ME: "That was totally uncalled for. The entire trip you two have been excluding me. You two walk far ahead of me and dont wait up. My feet were hurting and you couldnt slow down. What the actual F@ck was THAT, and how is THAT me being JEALOUS? Im not jealous except of how you treat me as the side chick when im SUPPOSED to be your wife walking beside you."
ALSO ME: "You do NOT yell at me EVER again in front of that child. I have bent over backwards taking care of that child, trying to help her have a good time and taking EXCELLENT care of her while you went off and left us to go fishing. Do not ever yell at me like that again. Further, she COPIES you in EVERYTHING. She is IMPRINTING on how to have relationships - do you REALLY want her to be with someone who yells at her all the time? Do you really want her to imprint on a relationship that is unloving and disharmonius?"
HIM: "I do not agree with that at all. NO I did nothing wrong its all you".
ME: "Then we do not see eye to eye at all. You are a stubborn stubborn man." Other things were said...but essentially I got it all out without cussing.
They were both pleasant and sweet and nice after that. They walked with me, I was able to sit with husband, the complaining lessened a little bit...
DH even made the comment that "next time we can really have more fun because we wont be lugging the kid along". Bingo.
So why did I even do this? My parents asked me the same thing, here is what I wrote them:
1. It was a sort of test. I thought maybe SDMunchkin Wife and I could bond if we were doing something fun together. She was on her phone texting Kansas City the whole time she was with me. When snorkling, she was fine. During meals it was silent and texting. So now I know how things will go. I needed to see it for myself and then also have DH see it for himself. Of course she was all over him and up his butt so thats what he saw.
2. Now we dont have to feel guilty about doing a REALLY nice trip for OURSELVES. Right? You feel sort of guilty I guess, when you have kids, and they really want to go on trips with you...parent guilt that Im observing but just do not feel. DH even said it "next time we can enjoy ourselves because we wont be 'lugging around kiddo'". LOL. I took the brunt of it the first day when he took off fishing, but then the rest of the time...haha. I got silence and texting, she was up his butt most of the time!
3. DH paid for the Hotel/Parking, most food and anything for her. She got inheritance $ so she could buy her own stuff. So it wasnt a big chunck out of my pocket, and it would answer #1. So...I thought I could skate off and do my own thing and leave them to it. Enjoy the time off, and they could do their thing. Problem happened when DH said "no we stick together". And all my plans were sort of thrown to the side. Ive lived there before and know some fun little driving tours, with stories. But nope. We did what DH wanted to (since he was paying), and that was walking around...ok...
So - in answer to that question - should I take a vacation with DH/SO and the kids? Answer would be no.
In answer to that question I will inevitably get and am still trying to cormulate and answer - did CLove have any fun? Well, its mixed, but definitely was hard, a lot of work, and not THAT much fun that I would repeat the experience with SD. It will be a while before I will go on a trip with wet blanket DH.
Just say no to crack, meth, and skid-cations