Small thing, BIG FIGHT
Ok, so let me start with a question - what should I do next?
1. Disengage. Leave it alone, do my own thing, and just dont talk about it.
2. Approach it sideways, turn off internet and turn off the phone line. Text only. Dont say anything.
3. Approach it directly, with both of them in the room at the same time.
Last night, as I was arriving home and washing something, I mentioned to DH that at the little strip mall that contains the grocery store we frequent, there are TWO places hiring. A pizza place and coffee shop. SD15.5 can get a job. His immediate reaction was no. Mainly because he would be responsible for transport, but his stated reason was "shes not mature enough". SD15 has no more responsibility now than she did at 11. So how is she supposed to mature? Just age into it?
This lead to an evening whereby at the dinner table she was snarky and only addressing DH. "Dad what are you up to tomorrow?" and no thank yous to me for me cleaning for her. Then somehow I was to blame because I did not know what her plans were for Thanksgiving as last time we spoke of it she was going to a friends Thanksgiving and not to my parents which was fine. And now for some reason I am a bad person because somehow I did not know that her friends plans was a different day than my parents. Which is still fine because when I told my mother she wasnt able to go, my mother said "well Im not going to change the reservation she can go or not go". I definitely got attitude.
Then in speaking of it, I got an argument. And when I mentioned the big picture of no help but lots of attitude I got, "well Im going to bed and dont want you to touch me right now". I did get a kiss goodbye as he was leaving for a fishing trip.
And then to test my theory, I texted SD15 Backstabber/Munchkin at 9:30 if she could help me out with some "winter cleaning" and we can "coordinate Thanksgiving plans". And no response. This is the same person who is on the phone to Kansas City from 5pm until 10pm every weekday, and for 5 plus hours all day on the weekend. Starting sometimes at 5 am. Yes I check.
So....what do I do?