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Im a Wheel - take a bet

CLove's picture

not a topic title, its the song title Im listening to. Plus a topic title. A two-fer.

So - an interesting turn of the wheel...

DH mentioned that SD15 B/M would be with us early, and my "spidey senses" went off, because we are a bit high strung over plans for our 4-day trip. "Whats wrong I ask?" he responds with "the girls are fighting again, so she will be with us early". 

I texted SD15 B/M, "whats the issue", to see if she would tell me the truth. Her phone broke and oh yea her sister was insulting her.

This is where it gets interesting. Shes there in person (because I no longer text) and she describes a scene in which her sister SD22 Feral Forger is calling her the "B" word and the "S" word, and other things that are nasty, and all this supposedly out of the blue. Nothing was said by SD15 B/M to instigate this. On further discussion its one of three things that I have discerned:

1. Shes off her meds. She takes anti-depressants and ran out.

Question to folks who have knowledge - does going off anti-depressants turn people into grumpy monsters? Are they addictive like that with actual withdrawals?

2. She is pushing buttons, because she gets a "high" from the drama. She gets "drama kibbles" that make her happy and excited. 

3. She is trying to push her sister into further damaging some part of her so that she can further extend her "injury related unemployment" run. Plus she is trying to convince others that her sister is crazy and violent. Ill bet she was recording everything.

In fact, SD15 related how she started screaming and then called DH crying and couldnt talk through the tears (ok, folks, Im getting sucked into the sympathy shredder...)

So I know that something is definitely up. Everytime I underestimate SD22 FF, she comes around a corner that surprises me. Could she really be THAT manipulative and mean? She did that to me. And apparently her friends hate her little violent sister and have threatened to "punch her teeth in". 

Question: can I use this information somehow? Toxic Troll is doing nothing to stop this behavior between them. Wants them to "talk it out". Because you know, shes the sane parent.

My first instinct is to stay far far out of it.

Comments

JRI's picture

Your and my first instincts are correct, stay out of it.  What can you do anyway?   Munchkin is going to be dealing with an unstable sister her whole life.

CLove's picture

I dont take them personally.

I think her less unstable and more manipulative. Like shes "making a case" for sympathy from her friends so they will want to rescue her. Shes always played victim mode to the hilt. like her mother. Lash out, then cry poor me look Im being attacked.

lieutenant_dad's picture

Stay out of it.

That household is dysfunctional. While SD15 may not have called FF a "bad name", that doesn't mean SD15 didn't say or do something else that riled up FF. SD15 also knows that, in the past, when she cries, she gets a lot of sympathy and FF just gets into more trouble. TT may be telling them to sort it out themselves because she knows they're riling each other up.

So stay out of it. If your DH is concerned for SD's safety, he can call CPS or the cops. He can go pick her up. He can handle it. You just need to stay firmly planted out of it.

CLove's picture

Like a tall tall tree.

And I know she tells me shes blameless and then again she will figure out ways to make it look like shes the innocent angel on high.

The ole Nacissistic Triangulation. Scape Goat and Golden Child.

Im glad that I can sort it out here.

I really didnt say much except "and now you can escape that with a fun trip out of town! Lets get you situated with luggage so you can pack tomorrow". 

Felicity0224's picture

It sounds like she needs a long, long break from contact with her sister. Not that you should intervene at all, her parents need to handle it. I can't imagine allowing one of my adult children to be so abusive towards their younger siblings. More evidence that your BM is a worthless mother.

As for anti-depressants, I'm sure they effect everything differently, but for me I actually had irritability when I started my prescription. But it only lasted a few days, and I was certainly not out of control, I could just feel myself getting much more easily annoyed than usual. I've "accidentally" gone off them a couple of times by forgetting to bring it with me when traveling, etc and I've never been irritable. The only withdrawal type symptom I ever have is sudden and extreme fatigue. It's possible that she's experiencing side effects, but I definitely wouldn't consider it a valid excuse for this type of behavior. 

advice.only2's picture

I would stay out of it, offer a listening ear to SD15 B/M
if you feel inclined, but reality is they are all toxic and they all enjoy the "drama kibble".

Just remember how fast SD15 B/M turned on you the minute she could find a way to manipulate and control a situation regarding you.

Esperanza's picture

Yes, stopping any sort of antidepressants or anxiety medication abruptaly causes many many issues. Moods q swings, paranoia, anxiety, sleeping disorders, etc. So it could bee prompted by that but clearly is also part of her lovely personality lol. 
There's really anything that you can do more than offer support but due to everything that has gone down with Munchkin I think you need to stay of it as much as you can ! 
good luck 

Aniki's picture

Darlin', your first instinct should be "Let DH handle it". However, "stay out of it" at this point is GOOD! Take "stay out of it" all the way back to NOT texting B/M at all.  *kiss2*

CLove's picture

I get so tangled up in the drama I forget.

The old hooks are still in there. Im pushing those silver "sympathy bullets" out like Selene in Underworld. Or Deadpool.

Theres only this ONE thing. Seriously. I asked her if she told her sister about the trip. She said no because she thinks then her sister will use it to guilt us into taking Feral Forger on a trip.

I dont know if I should muck around in the reasons why this will not ever happen, or let her stay afraid of that. The reason for that is that SD 15 B/M "Reporter" might actually keep her trap shut about our activities. The more I think about it, fear isnt necessarily a bad thing in this case...

Aniki's picture

Do NOT muck around. Like the Meatloaf song, STOP RIGHT THERE. Until B/M can prove she can keep her trap shut, say NOTHING.

FTR, when SS18 and SD25 are getting along with BioHo? They tell her any manner of things, which is why I practice Constant Vigiliance. I will never completely let down my guard. 

Harry's picture

That who group is crazy.  Nothing you can do about it.  They all feed off of each other.mThsy all like the drama. Munskin burned her bridges with you.  One she should not come early.  You must make DH stay with CO. Not kiss her behind because someone has to.   She will not go on  a Four day vacation, not after she disrespect you. She must pay for what she did  not get to go away and stuff her face with food 

MissK03's picture

I highly doubt SD15 just sat there and took FFs shit like she's claiming. I mean seriously.. If I were you I wouldn't have texted her "what's wrong" or brought it up when she got there. IF she brought it up simple... oh sorry you and your sister are fighting. 
 

She can't be trusted YET or if ever. I don't think she will tell FF about your trip AND even if she did WHO CARES! The girl is 22!! 

When skids are 22 we will tell them that they need to take car of the dogs because SO and I will be going away LOLLLL. 

hereiam's picture

My first instinct is to stay far far out of it.

And this would be correct ^^^^

You should not have even texted her.

Going off of anti-depressants, if she's taken them regularly and for some time, is NOT good. A person has to be weaned off of them at specific doses by a doctor.

bananaseedo's picture

Yes, antidepressants can do odd stuff when going off them- 

Your mistake was even texting her-you should have stayed disengaged and let her dad deal with it.  You've gotta put the breaks on more-I still can't believe you're doing this trip and letting your dh pull his usual selfish stunts and you take the load.  UNREAL.