Dhs Mom critacally ill - hope I dont have to see Feral Forger and Toxic Troll
Its here. Shes 97 1/2. A very long and prolific existence. Dh is the youngest of 13.
Last week she was at the hospital and now shes at home, and they are giving her MAYBE 2 days. Ive had flu bug for 2 days but Im told it doesnt matter, just come to the house. Everyone is gathering. I dont feel at all bad that I am hoping and praying I wont see Feral Forger SD20 or her mother Toxic Troll BM.
FF went no contact a few years ago, and still hasnt bothered to visit her. She took care of her on weekends, before leaving, for money, but other than that I didnt see a huge relationship. This is back when MIL could get around by herself and get to the bathroom, so she was basically hanging out to make sure she took medication and didnt get hurt. Well, I take it back, I know its "priceless" what she did for her gma, but I selfishly hope that she selfishly doesnt show for anything. Not a goodbye, not the rosary (catholic) not the funeral.
If she DOES show, what do I say? Im opting for nothing.
If she DOES show, since she doesnt drive, Ill more than likely have to see Toxic Troll, who will act concerned and try to hug everyone.
The good news is that this will sever yet another tie that Toxic Troll and Feral Forger will have to DH. You see, Dh was a wild child in his youth, and MIL credits Toxic Troll for settling him down and getting him clean. And since Toxic Troll has 2 of her grandchildren, theres that tie. THEN they were together for 15 plus years.
She is a gentle soul going through her transition gently. A very lovely lady, Im sorry that I missed getting to know her when she could get to know me. All I know of her is a few stilted conversations in broken English, her love of orchids, making her tea, and making sure she was as comfortable as possible. The past year or so, she would shuffle between her childrens homes, for the weekend so that the older brother who was/is the primary caregiver could get some rest. She would wake us up during the early hours, Dh would not get ANY sleep, and I would send him away from the house or to bed in the days so he couls rest. It was during these quiet times I would sit by her side, or answer her questions (this was difficult because she refused to wear her hearing aides), listen to her sing to herself, and watch her fold my living room blankets.
These past few years has been hard on her, at 97 plus, shes in a lot of pain, she can barely see, barely hear, and has a bit of dementia. I call her "time traveler" because she drifts between time zones - one minute shes there with you, the next shes in another country and in another time...