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Children, as adults, living with parents

CLove's picture


Gimlet's picture

So, I'm going to avoid the political aspects of the article because I'm already emotionally exhausted with that, but I will say that I personally have both sides of this going on in my life.

My DD is in grad school and has the work ethic of an ant on meth.  She's insanely hard-working and dedicated, she's great at delayed gratification, and she's going to have a heck of a time with a job when she graduates next year I'd bet.  She will find something and she will be OK, but she is bummed about housing prices and how hard it's going to be for her to buy a home, depending on where she lands.   It is tough for younger people in a lot of ways, even the ones who are willing to work hard.

On the other hand, I see my skids and a lot of kids like them.  No social skills, no friends, no drive.  They both had good high school educations, neither of them went without.  They did have issues with the divorce, but I have trouble imagining that they would have turned out too differently without it.   There are some other issues at play, but there is also a trend of some kids not being able to cope with adulthood.  I don't know what the answers are for that but it's frustrating when it's in your own life and frankly, it's a kid you don't love or even like half the time.

My DD doesn't want to be dependent on me.  The skids have zero problem being dependent and no real desire to leave the parental homes.  There is something not right about them, and we're not alone.  I've heard this from many other parents with kids the same age. 

lieutenant_dad's picture


DH and I are both millennials (though older millenials) and have gotten EXTREMELY lucky. But, it hasn't been easy for us or our friends. Even my friends in STEM fields (two are engineers) have had a hard time finding non-entry level work that will pay them for their experience. Those of us who graduated during the 2008 recession got hit with losing possible years of experience in our fields as folks didn't retire and people with more experience got preference on jobs. Then when we did get into our fields, we were competing with younger folks who could devote more time into work because they hadn't started families yet, or who were able to bettet tailor their education, etc.

Now that we have experience and should be able to start moving into managerial roles, another economic crisis hits where folks won't be retiring and people won't be switching jobs and jobs are being cut, etc. And we never fully recovered as a society from the last recession, so now it's compounding problems. Younger folks are feeling it, and I feel bad for any Gen Zer graduating college or a trade right now wondering WTF they are going to do.

There are the lazy ones for sure. But, I think a lot of us are also just tired. Everything is more expensive and we have another 30+ years working jobs that don't pay much above what they did 20 years ago. And with jobs going WFH, I just see more of the business cost being transferred to the employee without compensation. It'll be the new "pizza party and ping pong tables in the break room", where it's nice, but no wage increase when my utilities go up AND I'm expected to be available anytime 6am-8pm for meetings, calls, texts, etc doesn't make it worth it.

Working hard, getting an education/learning a trade, and trying to contribute positively to society should be met with more than just surviving. THAT'S when people start getting lazy - when the benefit doesn't outweigh the expense.